'No cry sleep solution'- Elizabeth Pantly anyone else?

[gingmg]

I read the book last week and I started tracking baseline sleep two days ago. I am now reading the book again and will start adding in her ideas and suggestions to our day. I will be continuing to track sleep and will commit to sticking with it for 10 days before I decide if anything is changing. Anyone else doing the same? Want to be a support for each other? Share our progress?

 

[MindUtopia]

I just wanted to say that I found reading this book to be helpful and to give me ideas for things we could try. I didn't follow it strictly and never tracked baseline sleep or anything like that, but I found it was just really helpful for helping me to think creatively about different things we could do to get our daughter to bed and soothe her back to sleep during the night. I would say don't feel frustrated if you feel you're following her advice and it doesn't magically change anything in 10 days. But do keep trying different things until you hit on something that works and be willing to give it time (I would suggest at least a month or more) before you decide if it's working for you. And be ready to change it up again in a few months time when everything changes. But that said, I'm a big believer that sleep is developmental and as long as you have the right support too that there's no need to sleep train or any of that junk. We never sleep trained and our daughter started to self-settle most nights from about 11 months (before that and when she didn't, I would rock her or sit or lie next to her and hold her hand). There are definitely ups and downs and you'll go through rough periods of big developmental leaps and illness and teething (but even sleep trained babies do that too). But my daughter is 27 months now. We have milk and cuddle in the rocking chair, she climbs into bed on her own, I read her a bedtime story and shut the door. Most nights she goes right to sleep on her own. Other nights she still comes out to find me and ask for an extra cuddle or a good night kiss and to be tucked in again and I might do that a couple times before she's happy to go to sleep. But we did all that by being really gentle and always available and responsive and never needing to sleep train. So have faith. It will happen. Just give it time and try different things until you find what works for you and your baby. Hopefully you'll find someone else who is at the same place and can be a support system, but I thought it might be helpful to hear from someone who has mostly come out on the other side too.

 

[gingmg]

Thanks! It is helpful to hear that this will get better. We are in sleep hell and are desperate to move towards a better pattern. Neither my wife or I want to sleep train him but I am afraid if things don't slowly start getting better that my wife will change her mind. The lack of sleep is really starting to take a toll on us, our marriage, and our ability to function during the day. To be honest, I'm doing OK but my wife isn't. I work overnights 3 nights per week and her nights home with him are tough. Some nights he does great and sleeps for 3-5 hour stretches other nights he is up every hour. And he doesn't self settle so it turns into bouncing, rocking, feeding and bum patting every time he wakes up. I'm OK if it takes awhile to see improvements as long as we slowly get there. I really do believe the ideas in this book can help us.

 

[threebirds]

Hi, Ive just started the book and would love to help out wee boy (8.5mnths) self-sooth and go back over himself if he wakes up. At the moment i'm implementing small rhings from the book and already it's helping. Im also going to read it properly and really work through it. We have greatly reduced lifting / rocking him when he wakes during night, and even when he is going down for night (hand holding rather than rocking when he wakes 20-30 mins after going down for night). Some nights are much better than others, which is why I do intend to really try to implement as much as possible from book. At the moment he is still in our room & I cant decide between helping him self-settle more and then moving him or moving him and then start properly on implementing the book - on the one hand it would be better if he was more settled before putting him in his own room, but then we might have to start over when we move him so maybe we should move him first - any thoughts?? He is still breastfed and waking 10pm, 3am, 6am - though no two nights are the same!! A week ago he was waking every 1-2hrs...
We are committed to a no cry approach and have been rocking him to sleep.
During the day he naps in my arms, or in pram if we are out (or car). It would be great to be able to put him down for a nap - especially as Im going back to work soon and he'll be with a childminder a few hrs a wk.

Good luck and great to be able to discuss how we are getting on with the book

 

[threebirds]

Thanks MindUtopia, your little girl sounds adorable & great to hear your story & experience. So many people seem to go down the CIO route that it is very good to hear experiences of gentle approaches. I don't understand how people can CIO but I know its a big part of parenting to recognise everyone does it differently. Thanks for posting your experiences here

 

[gingmg]

Hi threebirds! So glad to have some company!! What do you do to soothe him when he wakes up? I would love not to have to rock or nurse him every time he wakes up.

You probably could go either way as far as when to move him. Maybe start implementing some of the ideas and then slowly work your way to his room when you feel ready? We sort of are in the same situation. We put him to bed in his own room but we co-sleep once he wakes up around 12. The past two nights we didn't bring him into bed and we definitely had more frequent wakings as a result of the change. I'm sad to give up the co-sleeping but I know that me breastfeeding and co-sleeping is part of the reason he doesn't settle for my wife when I'm not home.

As far as the naps, my son used to only nap in a carrier on me but then I started lying down with him. I've recently added the stroller and car rides too. It would be nice if I could put him in the crib for naps too, but at this point I'm just trying to get him to nap for 2 hours in any way that I can!

Excited to hear your progress!

 

[Myszka]

I've got the book, but struggled to read it though I am going to try again. Mostly because im so tired mY concentration is zero by the time she is asleep and i actually have time to read!. My girl is one who screams even if she is being rocked to sleep so I am at my wits end, and a single parent so no help in the day to give me a chance to read or at night to help implement anything.

 

[superfrizbee]

I've been thinking of getting this book. DS is nearly 7 months and a dreadful sleeper. I never sleep trained with dd and I don't intend to for him, but something does need to change. I will be stalking!

 

[supertabby]

We did this with our daughter at 9 months old, as her sleep was horrendous - up around 10 times a night. It took a few weeks of hard going (continously running up and down stairs all evening until she properly settled) but it was worth it.

We didn't do the baseline sleep bit, I read through the book and took ideas of what I wanted to try. For us we set a routine and key words - so it was pyjamas on, book and milk, then she turned the light off (obviously we lifted her up), then more cuddles and milk in dark, then laid her into bed with a kiss and same words every night "I love you Isobel night night ". Then left the room. If she cried we'd go up and repeat from cuddles and milk in dark, as many times as needed until she fell asleep.

Once she learnt to self settle at bedtime the night wakings dropped dramatically and very quickly became stttn. She's 4 now and still loves sleep. She even loves a lie in and always has done since she self settled. It's 8.45 now and I've been up for ages with DS but DD is still in bed!

We're trying the same thing with our one year old now but it's going slower as I admit we're less consistent (if hubby is around we take one child each for bedtime, if not I obviously do both) plus he's had a lot of illness and hospital stays. He is starting to sleep a bit better though.

 

[gingmg]

Super tabby- thank you for your story!! Its so encouraging!! What did you do for the overnight wakings?

 

[gingmg]

Thought I would update for anyone following. We haven't done another log to properly see our progress but I do feel like things are slightly better. We now can put him down drowsy but awake (it usually takes a few tries) but then he settles. He still wakes up tons overnight, but he is starting to put himself back to sleep about 10% of the time- which is better than none. We still have a loooonnnggggg way to go till I feel like we are in a good spot but the fact the he-sometimes- can put himself back to sleep is huge. Baby steps. Its a process I guess.

 

[Prinny_1]

That sounds like brilliant progress! Well done! That's motivating me to try again... I always give up after a couple of nights and put him back in bed with me... Xx

 

[gingmg]

Thanks Pinny. I still put him in bed with me most nights too- at some point during the night Im too tired to stay up and resettle him and I know we will both sleep if I do. I've more been focusing on the bedtime routine, putting him down more and more awake and also giving him a few minutes to try and resettle himself when he wakes up. I used to go to him at every little peep. Now I give him a chance to go back to sleep by himself- sometimes he can now. I keep saying I won't put him in bed anymore, but I can't help it, I always do. At some point I'll get more serious about the crib but for now its just some small changes and steps we are taking.

 

[Literati_Love]

Can you share how you originally got him to fall asleep when you put him down drowsy?

 

[Prinny_1]

Can you share how you originally got him to fall asleep when you put him down drowsy?

Yes, please do. I ended up in situation last night where every time I put him down he cried and as soon as I picked him up he rested his head on my shoulder and fell asleep instantly. Then he was in with me most of night. I don't even know what time I got him out of his cot. I really don't want to sleep train, but I'm absolutely exhausted and I'm not a big fan of co-sleeping. HELP!! X

 

[gingmg]

I stopped nursing to sleep at bedtime a couple of months ago because it was making the nights my wife put him to bed almost impossible. To break that assosiation I started giving him a bath in between his last feed and bedtime and then I would just bounce him to sleep after the bath. So he has been used to not nursing to sleep at bedtime for quite a long time, just bouncing. Then I started putting him down asleep but not out cold asleep. He would instantly wake up and cry so I would bounce him all over again and keep putting him down asleep but not out cold asleep until he eventually just accepted it. I slowly started putting him down more and more drowsy, as soon as his eyes started closing I would put him down and say the same thing "night night baby, mommy loves you". Same thing, if he would cry when i put him down, i just bounced him till his eyes were closing all over again and just keep repeating until he fell asleep. It has been about a month now and even though I can't put him down wide awake, I can put him down more awake than before. And it can still take a few tries before he will go to sleep. I still have to "shhhhh" or bum pat sometimes once he is down but I just keep trying to let him finish falling asleep in his crib not in my arms. It has been a veerrrrryyyyy slow process to get him to go down sleepy but awake and at first I never thought it would happen, but slowly it is. The rest of the night is still a disaster but I'm hoping that in time it will get better.

We also have crib playtime a couple of times a day. I put a bunch of toys in there and let him play for as long as he will tolerate it. I think its helped him feel more and more comfortable in his crib.

 

[gingmg]

If you nurse to sleep you can remove your nipple once they are falling asleep, almost asleep. They will startle awake so you give your nipple back. Once they are almost asleep again, you remove your nipple. If they startle awake, give it back. You keep repeating this until they just accept it and go to sleep. I've been doing this during all the night wakings. It has taken a few weeks, but he doesn't expect to fall asleep at the breast anymore. He eats and then when he is done and falling asleep, I break his latch and put him on my shoulder. I hold him and cuddle him asleep. I am still unable to put him down awake on the night wakings, but I would imagine that that will come in time- well, I'm hopeful. When we co-sleep, I do the same thing, break his latch as he is falling asleep. There have been times now that he will roll over and go to sleep when he is done nursing. Its a slow process though. I would love him to sleep better but I want to make sure I feel that anything we do to help him is gentle and loving with as few tears as possible.

 

[Literati_Love]

Thanks for sharing. You are much more determined than I am. I give up very easily ahha. I may try that trick about the not nursing to sleep though.