No titled rant

[jaytee146]

this morning my lo and i got up and got dressed for our appointment for Dna testing. . . i'd kept my mother clueless as to what was going on because she feels that if you aren't married and the child's father doesn't want to be involved you should raise your child alone and not seek child support! well we were heading out the door and she gives me this long spill on how i need to stay outta trouble and tell her where i am cause anything could happen. . . reluctantly i tell her and i hear how displeased she is but she Say's nothing. my lo and i arrive and take the test. and we leave. . a few minutes after leaving fob calls and Say's he's going to be there at twelve not knowing we'd already gone, i checked with the case worker to ensure we didn't have to be present with fob for the test and she Say's no if u don't want to you don't have to see him. we arrive back home and my mom Say's give her to me. . . my lo has been experiencing horrible gas, and gas drops help but she holds in so it hurts worse. i knew my lo had been sleep for a while so i get the frozen milk out "to help my mom feel important by feeding lo"i fix the bottle and sit it beside my mom. and she's making all these noises. i sit down and try to enjoy my breakfast\lunch and she Say's "you think you're a good mother! you think it.'s so cute to put a guy on child support and get him tested? your baby has had gas and has been screaming for DAY'S and you don.t have the common sense to call the doctor. . F@@@ who the father is and wasting your energy on that. you should be worried about your daughter and only her! I bit my lip and tongue not to say anything to the extent that my lip is bleeding! i'm so tired of being judged and criticized at every Freaking turn! i don't want to leave my lo but i can't get back to work fast enough to get the Hell outta here! PLUS FOB CALLS AND IS SITTIN IN THE FACILITY CALLS AND SAY'S I HEARD YOU ALREADY CAME. I'M NOT TAKING A DNA TEST CAUSE YOU AREN'T HERE TO LET ME SEE THEM SWAB YOUR MOUTH. AND HE SAY'S SEE YOU IN COURT

 

[Mally01]

Oh lord alive. You'd think your Mum would be on her own daughter's side, not his. Out of curiosity, was she a single mum herself and that's where these pearls of wisdom are coming from? Gotta walk a mile in someone shoes to understand them. She doesn't understand how you are feeling, so best to tell her as little as possible.

I think your ex is just delaying the inevitable and being wishy washy about the DNA procedures, he knows the truth, he just won't accept it.

 

[jaytee146]

She was married to my biological father for 14 years and had me the 10th year of marriage to this particular guy... after that marriage ended she married the man I call my father... he was in my life until he pass 6 years ago.. and there's her new bo.. that she started dating shortly after my father passed... She's always had someone there... she had my oldest brother when she was a teenager and never filed child support on him.. nor did she ask him for help.. Like I tell her it was a different time then. but she doesn't want to hear that.

My boss actually came over as he does every few weeks to give me work to do and money for working while at home... she purposely left my screaming lo with me to prove a point of Life would be easier if i ff my lo... I just excused myself and fed my lo and came back... my boss understands... he use to own a daycare. she even had her friend to call me and inquire why I wasn't getting the free milk the government offers... I told her because I was bf and she tried to throw old quotes of how I'd have to express every two hours at work and that's no fun.. my lo would be happier,,, I get so tired of listening and taking everyone opinion in.. I maybe 24 and this maybe my first child... I know I don't know alot.. but It looks like I should have support on things I've decided... Not once has she said way to go I"m proud of you for sticking with it.. instead she'll say my breast always hurt.. Can't wait til you see what that feels like... that'll make you change your mind. SERIOUSLY! HOW ENCOURAGING MOM

 

[Laura2919]

Its hard not to worry. Sometimes my mum also says things that I just wanna say 'shut up, you havent ever been where I am so please keep it closed for a little while' but I dont cos she is my mum and she is trying to help just not the right way

 

[Mally01]

I think child support issues and absent father issues are more at the forefront in today's society because of what happened in the past to women like your mum. Men would get women pregnant and then just bugger off never to be seen again. Today's society and the government realise that this is not acceptable or should be accepted by pregnant women as 'par for the course' anymore and child support is a big thing. In small cases it can act as a deterrent (most men should be aware today that if they knock someone up, they can't get out of paying support in some way). Trouble is with parents sometimes, they do tend to try and 'educate you' that their way is the best way and as you get older, you realise that this is not always the case.

 

[dustbunny]

If your ex was mine... I would have strangled him!!! But you have to keep in mind that as long as you're doing the right things by the eyes of the court and he isn't playing ball... it will all work out in your favour. I know that sounds so blayze at the moment but keep the end goal in mind. It is annoying steps like these which bring you closer to the end of the tunnel.
As for your mother, easy to say than to accept, just ignore her as best you can. You know YOU are an amazing mother and parent. You know YOU put your baby first and make sure that the baby is happy. YOU are a lovely person, keep that in mind.

 

[jaytee146]