No waving clapping or mimicking? Update: HE DID IT!!!

[calm]

As always there is one twin that worries me. His brother, the more forward one, has been waving and clapping for nearly 2 months now. They have just turned one. His brother is yet to clap or wave. He does smile, and is affectionate. They are both more or less on track on other milestones though always later than average. Should I be concerned? We have their checkup in a few days so I'm going to ask then but would love your opinions and experiences

 

[LeannieB]

Hi my little Boy is 1 next week. He has been clapping for ages but he doesnt wave yet. Im wondering if I actually wave to him enough! He does copy other things but not all. I wouldnt worry im sure your LO is fine. Xx

 

[calm]

I wonder if I do it enough too. I keep waving, clapping, and his brother will do it even though I'm not even looking at him but at his brother. I feel worried I was feeling fine again about him, and now I just can't stop worrying. I looked on google and people were worrying when he didn't do it at their 9 month check, and my two are 1. Checks seems very unsatisfactory here in Spain, or at least my nurse isn't very good (asking questions about one, and then not the other, forgetting to check things on both until I remind her).

 

[AP]

I remember Tori was past one when I was worried about it but she soon did it!

 

[calm]

I remember Tori was past one when I was worried about it but she soon did it!

Aw thank you, I'm hoping it will happen for him soon too Xxxx

 

[LeannieB]

When do the boy's have their Check? xx

 

[calm]

Wednesday, see what they say, I will update X

 

[LeannieB]

Ok im sure all will be fine. Try not to worry xx

 

[HoneyBee144]

Freddie (DS1) didn't clap until he was well over 1 and even then he couldn't do it very well and never did it without being asked. He's only really got the hang of it since he turned 2! It worried me when he was younger but he can do so much other stuff (he was kicking a ball at 1, jumping both feet off the floor by 18 months) that I've tried to accept he has his own strengths and weaknesses and clapping is just one of his weaknesses! Hope it goes well at their check

 

[calm]

To be honest I've spent the last half an hour googling and worrying

 

[Larkspur]

Milestones in general are kind of bullsh*t.

What I mean by that is that it's best not to focus on specific markers, but try to take a step back and look at general development. Maybe he's not waving and clapping, but he's nodding or shaking his head? Or pointing? Or patting an animal when you say "Pat pat for the doggie?" Or some other kind of activity that shows that he is interacting and communicating with you?

It's hard to see now as you're going through it, but in the big scheme of things, a couple of months is nothing at their age. Looking back now with my son who is 3, I honestly could not say when he started waving or clapping. I think clapping was quite late, but whether it was two months or five months "late", I simply could not say. I can't even really recall when my daughter started doing either!

If your child is adding new actions and activities, getting stronger, trying new things and showing increased understanding each month, then there is almost certainly nothing to worry about.

 

[Mushymilkfor2]

Ds1 will be one in less than a month and shows no interest in waving or clapping. He does however do a lot of other things babies his age don't do, like climb and very well and he mimics facial expressions.

I know it's hard not to compare or worry about what your baby is or isn't doing, especially when you're told it should happen around a certain age and it doesn't. It's probably even harder not to worry when you've got twins and one is doing what he "should" be doing and the other isn't. But that doesn't mean something is wrong, it could just mean he's got his own agenda and bothering with clapping or waving just aren't on his own little list of things to do.

I'm sure both your boys are perfectly healthy and developing perfectly.

 

[calm]

Thank you everyone. They are both so different but so perfect in their own way, love them to bits. I've got so much better with being a worrier, though I should have known that having children would spark off anxiety. I think their birthday party made me a bit unsettled too. A invited a workmate and her daughter, she was pregnant when I was, more advanced in her pregnancy actually, but as I had my two early her daughter actually ended up being 2 weeks younger. Not sure if its because she is a girl, but she seemed a lot more forward than my two, even than my more advanced boy. Speaking, walking, waving, clapping, tiny little doll she is but so with it! I wish I could switch of Larkspur and leave them time and space to devolpe in their own way, but I think its because I've always worried about him since birth, and I think if anything is wrong I know that early intervention can make such a difference. My friend has twins with one in early intervention and he has improved so much. I keep looking for other bits of evidence of mimicking and interaction that is not clapping or waving. He grunts in a caveman style and sort of points, he flaps his hand in an "I want" way. He is cruising and crawling, and like to play with his brother, he is far more tolerant that his brother, and lets him get away with taking his dummy or toys. Anyway, one more sleep and lets see what the doctor says. I'm sort of expecting a "everything is fine don't worry" which is great, as long as its not a fob off X

 

[calm]

At this moment they are dressed in their raccoon dressing gowns and rolling around hugging and biting, making squeals of excitement to be playing together, so cute, they look like huge kittens lol

 

[CaptainMummy]

Ah bless them, they sound so cute! Dont worry, they are doing great and babies all learn at such different stages and rates.

 

[hellojello25]

I have a question: were your twins born early? Not like a few weeks early, but significantly? The reason I ask is because infants who are born prematurely will usually reach their milestones "later" than a child who wasn't born premature and is the same age. This is because the premature baby still needs the full nine months to properly mature. So if your children were born three months early, they would be three months behind other children who weren't born early but are the same age. I know it's convoluted, but does it make sense? It's hard to explain.

 

[calm]

Born at 34+5 X

 

[hellojello25]

Okay so maybe he's just a wee bit behind then. All kids reach milestones at different ages, even twins (trust me, they run in my family ). If you are still concerned about it in a little while, you can bring it up to the doctor. I'm sure they will tell you if you need to be concerned about it or not. In the meantime, good luck!

 

[LeannieB]

Hi Calm how did it go today? X

 

[calm]

All was well. I mentioned this to the nurse and she said it was nothing to worry about, that it would be at the 18th month check. I knew she would be laid back about, she didn't even ask. For some reason they couldn't see the doctor today,she they booked us for next week for their version of the 12 month check up, so I will raise the subject up again with her. Lord Fauntleroy (the more forward twin) has gone from cruising to walking his first 5 or 6 steps, which I think is quite good for a premature twin that has just turned one. Sweetface (the one I always worry about), is still cruising, but he always does things later, lately I just get the feeling he is just 1. different to his brother 2. later in his development, but I don't think there is anything "wrong" that we will need help with. Other days I fret I think differently. But today I was observing how they do exactly the same things with toys, going for the same buttons and lights, and in that way they don't seem that different from each other. He has always been different and slower to do things though, he took longer to smile, he never used to look at us as much as his brother did, and he had bad colics. A lot of the time that his brother was learning, he was crying, and I often think this made him more behind as he just didn't spend so much time interacting with the world as he was just "upset". I also think he was the typical baby that didn't like being a baby, the moment he was able to sit up and play and stand up, he stopped being so bad tempered and he only cries at specific moments now. Before I would spend all day trying to stop him crying, it was so stressful. I'll update if the doctor says anything different, thanks all for your concern and support X