normal? (i think not)

[maybebby]

Ok so this happened a few months ago but a family member was over playing w my DS. They r both 7 and I heard whispering so I listened and the family member was saying lets pretend to be brother and sister an kiss. So I was shocked! I called the boy out politely an said those aren't nice things to pretend an no one should every touch u. The guardian brushed it under the rug. They continued to play while I listened. But my DS said the family member wanted thm to show each other their privates (which is simi normal) but thn said tht he wanted thm to rub their privates on each other and told my DS it was ok for boys to kiss and touch and they should pretend to lay down under the blankets with their pants down.

In my mind this kid has to be experiencing some sort of abuse bc normal kids don't just dream this up! Right or wrong? My DS has NEVER said anything like this to me or any other friends he plays with so I know it came from the family member. But the family member lives w someone I know 4 a fact is nothing going on. But is exposed to other family I'm not so sure of. Wht would u guys think of this situation!?!?!

PS. It broke my heart to have to have the tlk w DS at 7 about molestation! Especially whn it was bc of a family member the same age! An the thought tht the family member is possibly going thru sexual abuse

 

[Rachel_C]

I think it's normal. Kids do come up with stuff like that on their own or could have seen something on TV accidentally. I'd keep an eye on it, make sure LO knows that nobody should ever touch you if you don't want them to and leave it at that. Abuse wouldn't be the first thing that popped into my head.

 

[JoolsH]

I would be very suspicious. I know kids can be "rude" but I have never heard my own or anyone roses kids be quite so specific. Could the child have overheard older kods/adults. Seen something on Tv. As a teacher I would investigate it further but it could just be innocent

 

[seoj]

I do feel a little curiousity it totally normal- like the "I'll show you mine if you show me your's" type of thing- but what kinda got under my skin was being told it's Ok for boys to touch and rub and wanting to get under the blanket with their pants down? I never did the curiousity thing as a kid (least no showing or touching or anything like that)- but I know some that did- and yes, I heard of some kisses (just quick pecks on the lips) and showing eachother privates etc... but nothing to that extent.

I think, besides having a very candid talk with your DS - letting him know that no one is allowed to touch his privates unless it's mom/dad or doctor etc... and that if someone makes him uncomfortable to tell you etc... I would prob at least have a chat with the other boys Mom or Dad (or is that what you meant when you said the Guardian brushed it under the rug?).

There is only so much you can do- outside of talking and protecting your own child. But if your not comfy with it- then that is valid. Even if it's simply curiosity on a different level- it's still your call as to what you are Ok with when it comes to your child. IDK. Sorry not great advise.

 

[CandyDay]

I would be very careful. I would when the "family" is over make sure that they play out where everyone is. Explain to your DS that you would like him to play out where everyone is because you want to make sure that they are both safe and not getting into trouble. I would not allow them to play on their own. It could be nothing but I would stay on the safe side and keep an eye on them when they play together.

 

[maybebby]

Thanks y'all its a tough situation to be in whn I wanna know whts going on but really have authority. And yes, his guardian just didn't seem to care. If it were my kid I'd wanna know where an whn he heard or learned those things. Imo it was to specific for simple curiosity. And after they got home I tlked to DS an got all the info an called guardian an told thm wht was said an thy only said tht the boy said my DS was the one saying things! But I know myself who I heard saying "lets pretend to be brother and sister ect " DS told me he showed him his privates and was honest about situation but it did tick me off tht the other boy was turning it around on my DS!

 

[BlueHadeda]

Personally, I wouldn't feel like this is innocent curiosity either. It would've shocked me, and like a pp said, I would never left my child alone again in the presence of the other child. Not even for a minute.

Apart from talking to the guardian, I don't know what more you can do for the other child? Except maybe talk to other family members maybe? Or if you know his teacher?