Not confident enough for baby clubs/support groups

[Beaney192]

Hey all

Im starting to get a lil lonely at home and would love to venture to these clubs but i have no confidence and it seems pointless to walk somewhere different just to sit on my own again lol

What sort of things happen at the clubs? is it true they can be clicky??

 

[lilyanne]

I think the only way to know is to try it. It can be intimidating walking into a new situation like that but it does get easier. I started going to a walking group with new moms last week. All the women knew each other before hand and were friends. I was really nervous because of that and also they would be speaking German and my German is absolute crap. However, I was really glad I went and they really went out of their way to include me. I just remind myself that everyone has to be the new person at some point. Do you have a friend with a baby that could go with you the first time or is there someone from your prenatal class you hit it off with that you could call up to join with you? My experience has been that I think a lot of new moms are looking for friends with babies of a similar age and so women seem to reach out a little more than in other situations.

 

[Shell N Bump]

Hiya, I'm feeling exactly the same as you. Last time round I had close friends/family with young children so we would go to playgroups and things together which was great. Different toys for the LO's to play with, different surroundings and some adult chit chat made all the difference.
This time round I am totally on my own. My niece and nephews and friends children are all at nursery and school now and I'm the only one with a baby. I dont have any confidence to go to playgroups alone, I find it hard to make convo with people I dont know.
My OH is back at work after his paternity leave and I'm pretty lonely throughtout the day.
Maybe we should just grit our teeth and walk in... if it all goes belly up then we dont have to go back to that one again

 

[scoobymum]

Hiya,

I'd say go for it! I go to 3 different baby groups now and have met lots of new people. It is a little nerve wracking for the first few times, but every one is in the same boat.

Perhaps make sure you get there slightly early/ on time so you haven't got to walk into a busy room, that can be scary! Im always late so found this out the hard way...

It also depends on the type of group you go to. If you go to one of the sure start groups, I find these are more "chatty" between parents IYKWIM, specific groups such as rhythm time ect have organised activities that you have to follow with the leader, so these are less chatty.

And remember, you're guaranteed to have at least something in common with people- babies! If I'm on my own for the first time, I always start with the line "How olds your baby/ whats their name?" then comment how cute they are!! its a great opener! Im sure you will find someone to talk to, and as the weeks go by it gets easier.

Good luck, and like the other poster said, if you're unlucky and find a clicky group, just don't go back and try another group. xx

 

[Hellodoris]

Hey,

Like everyone else here says, just go for it. I moved to Cantebrury with just my OH and my DD and I made friends (it took some time) by gonig along to groups. I notice you breast feed. Your sure start centre should offer a Breastfeeding support group which are generally fabulous, our one offers a cup of tea and lunch, first time I went I was petrified but I soon go over it. Also look on Netmums at your local meet a mum board, there are normally lots of ladies on there in similar situations and you can meet up one to oen for coffee. If you don't like them you don't have to do it again!

Be brave!
X

edited to add your Hv will have a list of all the local groups in your area, tap them up for it!!

 

[DaniMoose]

I know how you feel...my confidence is shot! i dont know how to talk to people and i did go along to some groups and yes there are groups of women who just talk amongst themselves and shockingly even i have managed to have someone i sit/talk with in each group.........it is worth a try!

 

[HungryHippo]

I found that with the brand new moms it wasn't clicky at all. Maybe with some moms of older babies, like 6 mos, who had been going for 6 mos then they'd already made friends. The group I hang with has all 3 mos and under. All brand new moms need someone to talk to! I was skeptical, too, but now I go out with the other new moms at least 3 times/week. It helps to get us out of the house AND we get to compare notes - just like on here.

 

[Beaney192]

Hey,

Like everyone else here says, just go for it. I moved to Cantebrury with just my OH and my DD and I made friends (it took some time) by gonig along to groups. I notice you breast feed. Your sure start centre should offer a Breastfeeding support group which are generally fabulous, our one offers a cup of tea and lunch, first time I went I was petrified but I soon go over it. Also look on Netmums at your local meet a mum board, there are normally lots of ladies on there in similar situations and you can meet up one to oen for coffee. If you don't like them you don't have to do it again!

Be brave!
X

edited to add your Hv will have a list of all the local groups in your area, tap them up for it!!

Hey! I see you live in canterbury...how strange I live in Deal, Im going to chat to my HV see whats on offer, as she has already told me once but I cant remember what she said

 

[chezziepie]

I've joined net mums and spoke to a mom on there were then going to go to the clubs together hehe

 

[Hellodoris]

Hey,

Like everyone else here says, just go for it. I moved to Cantebrury with just my OH and my DD and I made friends (it took some time) by gonig along to groups. I notice you breast feed. Your sure start centre should offer a Breastfeeding support group which are generally fabulous, our one offers a cup of tea and lunch, first time I went I was petrified but I soon go over it. Also look on Netmums at your local meet a mum board, there are normally lots of ladies on there in similar situations and you can meet up one to oen for coffee. If you don't like them you don't have to do it again!

Be brave!
X

edited to add your Hv will have a list of all the local groups in your area, tap them up for it!!

Hey! I see you live in canterbury...how strange I live in Deal, Im going to chat to my HV see whats on offer, as she has already told me once but I cant remember what she said

Ohh I've not yet made it to Deal! If you ever want to come to Canterbury for coffee (well Tea because coffee is yuck) or shopping or whatever drop me a message and we'll arrange something.X

 

[kmumtobe]

I go to a structured class as I'd never have the confidence to go to a sit and play/chat thing. It means if I don't want to talk to anyone I don't have to but I still feel like I'm doing stuff with him and we're learning together yoga, massage and signing took alot for me to go to the first but now I really look forward to it

 

[leanne_h_89]

This thread inspired me to join netmums and although I live in a big city there appears to be no one from my area x

 

[midori1999]

I go to a couple of BF groups/cafes and they are great! One is busier than the other and has quite a few established members, but I wouldn't call it cliquey at all. Everyone's really friendly! The 'support' group is really just Mum's chatting.

Once you've been once you'll probably wonder what all the fuss was about.