Not coping well

[Smurfette]

Hi ladies,

Sorry but I just need a rant at the moment.

A friend of mine announced yesterday that she was pregnant. They weren't trying and she wasn't even sure when she found out if she wanted it. She's decided now that she does want it. I feel terrible for not being anything but happy for her but all I can do is think how unfair it is. I feel incredibly selfish and in truth like a total bitch but I can't bear the thought of seeing her every day throughout her pregnancy.

I feel like whatever we do we never get anywhere. I've never had even a hint of a and feel so sad.

I've generally been OK for the last couple of years while we've been trying but this has sent me into meltdown a little bit and the fact that I feel like such a mean spirited cow is making me feel even worse.

I'm fed up of something that is so easy for some people being so hard for us.

IT'S NOT F**KING FAIR! I know nothing is fair but I guess there's always been something in my mind that says it's got to be our turn soon. I'm losing hope.

Sorry to be on such a downer. I promise to stop wallowing in self pity soon!!!!!

 

[bumski]

We all understand how you feel, a girl i know got rid of her baby lst yr because she didnt think time was right and now after 2 months of trying low and behold she is pregnant again. still with the same guy, its just convinience for some people i think. good luck to you

 

[Sambatiki]

Hi hun!

May I join in on the pity party??

Totally understand where you are coming from SIL is preggers too! I wont go and visit DF's parents because I cant face her!

Sometimes I wonder why I put myself through this disappointment! xxx

 

[sparkle83]

I had this last year with my SIL who has this perfect life, and got PG the day they stopped using condoms. I couldnt bear to even hear about her, and saw her twice during the pg (one was xmas). However... since my niece was born, I feel so much better, and see them quite alot. It seems for me the issue is the fertile/pregnant/feminine/easy side of it, rather than the baby side of it

*hugs to ya*

 

[bumski]

to me i hate the "people telling you the good news" bit face to face, i try really hard not to react, it makes it worse because people know we are ttc and i think they look for dissapointment in your face sometimes.
either that or im really paranoid lol!!! xx

 

[Smurfette]

Thanks girls.

I'm OK with babies too, it's just spending time with pregnant women that makes me feel sad, like I'm not a proper girl 'cause I don't fall pregnant at the drop of a hat. The sane me knows that's not the case but it's one of those horrid nagging thoughts that gets in.

I'm sure I'll be back to my positive self tomorrow but I really appreciate the support in the meantime. I'm so glad I found this place!

and for everyone!!!!

 

[Sambatiki]

Hun!

Its such a rollercoaster journey! We all need to get things off our chests every not and then! xxx

Sometimes youve just got to shout, scream, stamp feet and cry! XXXX

 

[krissi]

OK I am joining in to my cousin/ best friend has just announced she is 12 weeks preg to and my niece is due to drop so I am feeling sorry for myself too x

 

[jacky24]

I know how you feel hun, my SIL also when she got her i was chattered, as she had been trying to catch her OH, and they have still no financial stability, she jumps from job to job, then at home 3 months... so i know your frustrations.....

I hope you can hang in there hun....

Day by day, and never give up HOPE!!!!!!!!

 

[puppymom32]

It is totally not fair. Its like maybe if I were a druggy or sleeping around with random guys then I would get preggy but trying to be responsible obviously isnt working for me!!! So Frustrating. I see so many people in the world that dont deserve kids and I think I would be an excellent mom. I just wonder why or when is it gonna be my time.

 

[Millnsy]

Thanks girls.

I'm OK with babies too, it's just spending time with pregnant women that makes me feel sad, like I'm not a proper girl 'cause I don't fall pregnant at the drop of a hat. The sane me knows that's not the case but it's one of those horrid nagging thoughts that gets in.

I'm sure I'll be back to my positive self tomorrow but I really appreciate the support in the meantime. I'm so glad I found this place!

and for everyone!!!!

Hi Smurfette

I know exactly how you feel! Being around babies is fine but its the pregnant people that get me every time. As everyone keeps saying we will be better parents in the long run because we all know just how hard it has been to get anywhere near that second blue line (I wonder what that looks like??)

Millnsy

PS - loving the smurfette thing, I had a smurfette teddy when I was little and the whole sticker album too!

 

[cazhd]

Smurfette rant away i think we all deserve too. We all know how you feel and at times certain things during this emotional rollercoaster make it even harder. My sister is pregnant, think she's 25 weeks and i can't wait till the baby is born cos although i'm delighted for her i'm sick of hearing it, i feel thats all her and my mum ever talk about and i can't face it anymore. Most times i come home and the reminder that it only takes two weeks really tips me over the edge

Big for you

 

[Smurfette]

Thanks girls.

I'm OK with babies too, it's just spending time with pregnant women that makes me feel sad, like I'm not a proper girl 'cause I don't fall pregnant at the drop of a hat. The sane me knows that's not the case but it's one of those horrid nagging thoughts that gets in.

I'm sure I'll be back to my positive self tomorrow but I really appreciate the support in the meantime. I'm so glad I found this place!

and for everyone!!!!

Hi Smurfette

I know exactly how you feel! Being around babies is fine but its the pregnant people that get me every time. As everyone keeps saying we will be better parents in the long run because we all know just how hard it has been to get anywhere near that second blue line (I wonder what that looks like??)

Millnsy

PS - loving the smurfette thing, I had a smurfette teddy when I was little and the whole sticker album too!

Thanks hun,

My husband's name is Smurf (obviously not by birth but it's all anyone ever calls him) so I'm a Smurfette by marriage

Thank you all so much for the support! I feel very blessed to have found you all!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[peekaboo]

Can I please join in with the ranting??? I am feeling really sorry for myself today. Had some family issues (think everything's ok now) but just having on of those days. I don't actually come on this website loads, but every now on then (usually in the last 1WW) feel the need to moan. I sometimes don't know who else to moan to. I have a very good friend who lets me moan away (who is actually pregnant!) but we were both trying at the same time and it took her the best part of a year, so I have no bad feelings towards her at all.

Like other people have said on this thread, I just find it hard when people rub in how easily they got pregnant. A friend of mine is popping in to see me this week. She doesn't know myself and hubby are actively TTC but she knows that we've spoke about wanting children so I'm sure in a way she knows. She's one of those people who doesn't think before she speaks and we've always had one of those relationships where we're kind of friends but perhaps neither of us know why as we're not very similar. Anyway, she decided to start trying at Christmas and low and behold fell pregnant immediately. She quickly told me about how it had happened straight away, and although I've never said I'm trying I know that she can probably guess. I have to confess I haven't seen her at all since she's got pregnant (although we don't see each other much anyway - usually round birthdays and Christmas) as I know she'll go on about how quickly it happened. I think I'm actually going to lie (I hate lying) when she comes to see me and say that we've decided to wait until next year as we're having fun on our own and wanted to have a couple more holidays just the two of us. I know its stupid to lie but it will make it easier for me to handle.

I also know about 5 other people that have fallen pregnant since myself and DH have been trying. This includes one who took the morning after pill but still got pregnant (I have nothing bad to say about them as they're a nice couple, but obviously the fact she took the morning after pill shows she didn't want to get pregnant, but still did) and another couple who hadn't even met each other when me and DH started trying. They met and within a few months she was pregnant. Her baby's due in a couple of months, and we still haven't got there. Again, I don't hold it against them (i actually get on well with this particular girl) but it still makes me feel like a failure. I feel I'm surrounded by pregnant people - and many of them hadn't even thought about getting pregnant when me and DH started trying, yet here they are now expecting this wonderful little baby - and us, who have wanted it for longer, are still waiting. Aaaaarg. Sorry rant over, just needed to get it out. xxxx