Not feeling ready for baby

[Sander]

I’m really struggling now at 36 weeks with feelings of not being ready to have a newborn. I had a lot of negative experiences with my first (3rd degree tear, 100+ stitches that didn’t hold, broke down and my wound didn’t heal right, it’s still problematic now), and my son also had 12 weeks of horrible colic - so constant screaming 14-16 hours a day.

The combination of the two was awful because the only thing that calmed my son down was quite aggressive bouncing/rocking which I couldn’t do due to the pain from my tear.

Anyways. My son is only 15 months old so it’s all still so fresh, and the idea of going through it or anything similar again is majorly freaking me out. I’m finally in less pain from my tear now, and my son has been sleeping through the night so everything’s finally calmed down and I’m just afraid of disrupting all that.

I know every delivery and every baby is different, but I’m so not looking forward to having a newborn and dealing with another difficult birth recovery. Let alone if this baby also has colic.

I don’t know what I’m expecting people to respond haha, just feels good to write it down. I was soooo excited for my son to be born, and then everything was so awful - of course I was thankful he was healthy, but it was nothing like what other women told me having a newborn would be like. I’m just sad I can’t have that same excitement with this baby, all I feel is afraid.

 

[sunflower82]

Aww I hope things go better for you this time around all the best

 

[erher]

I understand your fears. They are completely reasonable. I have the same fears and I'm not even pregnant. After a traumatic delivery, i had a hard time taking care of my son. I cried constantly and felt like i was in a nightmare. Having another baby would be exciting, but it would bring up a lot of worries that it would a repeat. The good thing is, it doesn't last forever. He won't be a newborn forever. Cliche, but that's what got me through it all. I really hope your little one is an easy baby. You've been through a lot.

 

[LNWXO]

I am having similar thoughts. I too had a hard time after having my son. This was 3 years ago though. I had recurrent miscarriages before him, and was so excited to have him. Only to actually be extremely overwhelmed, a 6 day hospital stay which caused unbelievable anxiety and panic attacks, to then go home and deal with a colicky baby! My mental health was awful for quite a long time. I will say I am a little more realistic about it all this time, and me and my husband have had lots of chats about how I am feeling. I will only occasionally have those thoughts, but I know it’s just my anxiety. I know I’m just extremely scared to feel how I felt back then. I feel you Mumma. But we’ve got this! If you ever need to chat, now or when the baby is here. Private message me! X

 

[Sander]

I am having similar thoughts. I too had a hard time after having my son. This was 3 years ago though. I had recurrent miscarriages before him, and was so excited to have him. Only to actually be extremely overwhelmed, a 6 day hospital stay which caused unbelievable anxiety and panic attacks, to then go home and deal with a colicky baby! My mental health was awful for quite a long time. I will say I am a little more realistic about it all this time, and me and my husband have had lots of chats about how I am feeling. I will only occasionally have those thoughts, but I know it’s just my anxiety. I know I’m just extremely scared to feel how I felt back then. I feel you Mumma. But we’ve got this! If you ever need to chat, now or when the baby is here. Private message me! X

Colic is no joke! I hope both our LO’s are calmer, either way I’ll probably take you up on that - it would be nice to chat with someone who understands!

 

[Sander]

I understand your fears. They are completely reasonable. I have the same fears and I'm not even pregnant. After a traumatic delivery, i had a hard time taking care of my son. I cried constantly and felt like i was in a nightmare. Having another baby would be exciting, but it would bring up a lot of worries that it would a repeat. The good thing is, it doesn't last forever. He won't be a newborn forever. Cliche, but that's what got me through it all. I really hope your little one is an easy baby. You've been through a lot.

Thank you so much, it’s such a shock isn’t it. You expect things to go one way and when they don’t, it’s hard to cope. Especially with all those extra hormones running around. I think that’s one thing I’ll be more prepared for this time - it felt like it would never end with my son but he did grow out of it and I did start recovering. So at least this time I’ll be able to remember the light at the end of the tunnel is there - even if it doesn’t feel like it!

 

[Sander]

Aww I hope things go better for you this time around all the best

Thank you

 

[Scout]

I really hope things go better this time. My delivery was good, but the newborn stage was awful. I won't go into all of it, but I'll say that for the first 5 years after dd birth, whenever I'd hear that distinct newborn cry when I was out shopping (usually in Target) my skin would crawl. I couldn't stand it. I think all my expectations made it worse. I had people constantly telling me how the newborn stage was the best, and that just wasn't my experience at all! So then I started to wonder what was wrong with me and got depressed. Again, just hope you have a great experience this time around and wish you all the best.

 

[HopeBT]

Ah Sander, I feel exactly the same. I am only 11 weeks and really feel fortunate to be pregnant again as I have had infertility issue with my previous pregnancy, but man I get so exhausted and unhappy when I realize that we have to do it all over again so soon
Hopefully I will feel better after my annual leave, probably really exhausted with a toddler, pregnancy and full-time job.
I really hope you will have an easy baby and smooth delivery. Once born, they are irresistible though, arent they?
Best of luck hun xxx