not happy-am going back on bcp :(

[minnie10]

well it looks like im going back on my bcp again.ive being thinking it over the last few days and i think its the best idea for now.

dh owes my mum money he got it in january and so far has paid £0 back,i just dont think this is right.we had an agreement that if i came off bcp then he would start to pay her back-even if its £10 per week and he hasnt even tried he said he cant afford to and he cant make any cut backs,well ive thought of plenty:
1.stop smoking or cut down-hes been buying a ''lighter'' version,but tbh hes smoking more of them as theyre not as strong.
2.stop doing the lottery-he does 4 lines on a friday and 2 on a saturday and sometimes 2 on a wed.
3.cutback on the carryouts from the off licence.
4.spend less when we go out-dh always takes 'extra'money just incase but 95% of the time he ends up spending it.

he got all annoyed when i said to him and tried to say that i never wanted kids im actually gutted that we are having to wait longer now but he doesnt seem to realise that we need money for a baby and for ourselves.i want my mum paid back,or at least some of it before we ttc.

maybe this will shock him into doing something about it. so at the minute if af shows up im going back on bcp a week later,only hope to stay on them till end of year

 

[4magpies]

Ahh honey I am really sorry to hear that.

I never want to go on the pill again. I cant imagine how you are feeling at the moment.

By the sounds of it your OH needs to buck his ideas up!!

xxx

 

[minnie10]

he keeps saying we dont need to worry about money-emm yes we do!!
he said we will get child tax credits etc-yes but thats not going to cover the bills when im off on maternity. MEN

 

[Beany2]

aww poor you

i bet you feel like you're banging your head against a brick wall. he'll say all that about money know but you can almost guarantee if you got pregnant you get to about six months gone and he'd be like "bloody hell, babies are expensive"!

it sounds like proper man's logic. like you said, maybe this will make him realise he needs to get his ass into gear!

hope all goes well for you hun

 

[DolceBella]

Awww.. I'm so sorry hun! Hopefully your OH will come to his senses.. and soon!

 

[maybabydoll]

Aww so sorry to hear this

It sounds like you have a good understanding of how expensive babies are. I argee with you that debts should be paid before buying "luxuries". If he really can't afford to pay your mum back and really can't give up the smoking/lotto etc, perhaps he could take on more work? More shifts/overtime etc?? If he doesn't want to do that, then cut the luxuries! Sorry if that sounds harsh.

Also I wouldn't rely on tax credits and the state, I would say with the new government, there will be cut backs and no easy hand outs. Just my opinion, again sorry if this sounding harsh. Good luck with it all x x

 

[Damita]

Aw hun but it is good that you are working out a plan to pay her back

 

[aly888]

sorry to hear this hun. Like you say, hopefully this will help him realise his priorities and will start paying your mum back. Hope it doesnt go on too long though and you are off them before the year is out xx

 

[calm]

How very immature of him, and on top, for him to accuse you of not wanting kids (blaming others for your own mistakes also indicates immaturity) He needs to grow up and stop spending. It shows how mature you are, because to want to TTC and have a partner that is willing to do so even if circumstances are not right, means you have to have real willpower and be super responsible no to go with the flow and get pregnant anyway, you certainly have your head well screwed on. So sorry you have had to come back to WTT, hope he bucks his ideas up real soon and you can try for your LO XXX

 

[minnie10]

Aww so sorry to hear this

It sounds like you have a good understanding of how expensive babies are. I argee with you that debts should be paid before buying "luxuries". If he really can't afford to pay your mum back and really can't give up the smoking/lotto etc, perhaps he could take on more work? More shifts/overtime etc?? If he doesn't want to do that, then cut the luxuries! Sorry if that sounds harsh.

Also I wouldn't rely on tax credits and the state, I would say with the new government, there will be cut backs and no easy hand outs. Just my opinion, again sorry if this sounding harsh. Good luck with it all x x

thanks,there is no overtime in his place,he asked for a pay rise as he is doing double the work now than he used to and they said no.

 

[maybabydoll]

Well in fairness, he is trying then, I know it's tough finding work, let alone extra work at the moment. Perhaps if he can't quit the spending altogether, he could comprise like quitting one or two things and atleast start paying your mum back even if it's an fiver or tenner here and there. I hope things get sorted x x

 

[mandaa1220]

 

[minnie10]

Well in fairness, he is trying then, I know it's tough finding work, let alone extra work at the moment. Perhaps if he can't quit the spending altogether, he could comprise like quitting one or two things and atleast start paying your mum back even if it's an fiver or tenner here and there. I hope things get sorted x x

i know,hes looking for a better paid job but as you said its tough. think thats what hes going to do,its not much but better than nothing right??? hes also been talking about putting money in our savings account.he said £10 a week but think it will only be £20 per month,its a start.

 

[maybabydoll]

It's definitely better than nothing and it shows the right attitude for planning for the future. It's always good to put a little away if you can, especially before the LOs arrive x x