Not married to the father yet...

[SarahEA11188]

My boyfriend and I are having a baby, and I'm not sure which last name to use. I don't want to combine them. I'm wondering whether anyone has been in this position before and which last name they've used.

 

[mum2be2011]

Hi, Im not married to the father of my babies yet either. We have been engaged for 3 years now. My little girl has my partners surname and this LO will also have partners surname. Makes it easier in the future once we are married.

 

[little_pod]

Me and my fiance are having our 1st baby, been together 4 and half years, and he proposed on fireworks night this year-a matter of weeks before baby is due.
Baby will be having his surname, like previous post, it makes it easier when we finally do get married years down the line x

 

[pupsicle]

It's personal preference, completely up to you.
Me and my boyfriend have been together almost 4 years, we've spoken about marriage but there's no definate plans for the near future. The baby will take Daddy's surname as this is what I see as right to me. OH wasn't bothered either way.

 

[AP]

We used my name and when we got married it was great because its was a day for all 3 of us.

 

[PugMama22]

Like some of the other ladies said, I think its a personal preference. Its a tough choice. For me, I think I would have to consider what kind of person he is. Is he someone who will be in your child's life as a responsible role model and parent? then absolutely! But if hes made it clear that doesn't want to be in his child's life, then I'd give the child my name and move on! Keep the lines of communication open and ask him what his intentions are in your child's life.

 

[xdaniellex]

Kaitlyn has my surname , and this baby will to, Id rather that than they goto school with there dads surname and then its assumed that where married etc plus its not hard to change over if we do ever get married xx

 

[discoclare]

My LO has OH's surname. Even if we get married (my OH would like us to get married, I don't really mind either way) I have no intention of changing my name to theirs as I have a career and publications in my own name. It doesn't bother me that she has a different name to me but some ladies really hate that, so I think that's one thing to consider: will it bother you if you don't have the same name as your LO?

Also in the UK when we registered her they asked if we were absolutely sure about our decision as apparantly if you give the father's surname it can be difficult or impossible to change it later. Whereas if you give the mother's it is very easy to change it later to the father's if you want. I have no idea why that is! I know you are in the US but it would be worth checking out what the local ins and outs are of the birth registration process are in case there are any funny things like that there.

Also if / when we get married we have to re-register her! Even if nobody changes their name (which they won't be)! When we left my OH was like "what if we get married when she's 40? Do we still have to re-register her birth then?"

Anyway the ultimate decision is your choice. In the UK lots of people choose to give dad's name and equally plenty of people choose to give mum's.

 

[Button#]

I am married and I have kept my own name. When we have kids we are going to give them my OH's surname as their surname and my surname as a second middle name.

 

[LunaRose]

Jayden has OH's surname, and if we have any other children they will too. I think it's down to personal preference! OH and I have been together for over 6 years and we have spoken about marriage, so it just seemed like the obvious thing to do!

 

[Islas_mummy]

I am not married to my OH and we were only together 11 months when i got pregnant, although I know I want to marry him and he wants to marry me. I would be devestated if my LO had his surname and then we split up or he left etc. So I used both our surnames but didn't hyphenate them. That way when/if we marry I can just use his surname but for now I use my surname. If that makes sense! But I do agree it's just a personal choice xx

 

[Pixxie]

We're not married or even engaged yet but we plan to get married eventually so LO will have OH's surname xx

 

[xMissxZoiex]

Me and DF are engaged but if we have a baby before the wedding he/she would have DFs second name because i will be taking his name too x

 

[Anicole10]

I've been with my OH for 5 years and I too wonder. I think it's a personal choice. I'm not sure if I will hyphenate the name or give the baby my name of his...I know he would be really hurt if his name wasn't in there somewhere. I think I will decide based on the flow of the names...good luckkkk I'm sure whatever decision you make will sound great and will work out fine in the end!