Not PAL anymore, but still so paranoid!!

[PugLuvAh]

I had my first loss May 2011 and got pregnant again right away and had a healthy rainbow baby last February. He's almost 18 months now and is my heart

I'm recently pregnant again and I thought I would be more confident this time, but I am just as paranoid as I was with my son Checking for blood every time I go to the bathroom (including the middle of the night) and every cramp or twitch I get I immediately think "miscarriage" instead of, I guess I've got a cramp....

I try not to think about it, but I'm finding that I am not letting myself (or my husband) get excited about this and we're already waiting to tell family till 5 months (I had a lot of bleeding month 4 with my son).

I thought I'd be different this time since I had a successful delivery last time.
Do you ever let go of the m/c stress and allow yourself to have a happy, excited pregnancy??

 

[mummy2o]

I think now I'm past the week I m/c last time (7 weeks), I'm more relaxed and thinking its possible. I have a scan next week (I'll be 9 weeks) and if that all goes well I'll be getting a ticker. I think the more positive thing I had this time round was ms as I didn't get any last time, nor did I have any with DS but I think it helped me stay positive.

 

[PugLuvAh]

Congratulations on getting past that first milestone!

I hope the same for me too. Mine was pretty early last time, thats probably whats weighing on me. Although with my son, month 4 is when I had a ton of bleeding and was in the ER three times for threatened miscarriage and ultrasounds. They never really knew what it was considering I had no bleeding in the first trimester. I constantly thought I was going to lose him and we didn't tell anyone till I was 5 months along.

I think once I get to the 5 month mark this time I'll really relax and enjoy. That seems so far away right now, but I keep telling myself I can't prevent one if I'm going to have one, so I might as well enjoy this baby while I get to (and hopefully its for 9 months!). Easier said than done sometimes, right?

 

[dairymomma]

I've had 7 m/c and 2 rainbows but I can tell you I will never get over that fear. With my first 6 m/c, I m/c between 6-9 1/2 weeks so I would breathe a teensy tiny sigh of relief when I hit the 2nd trimester as my 'chances' of m/c went WAY down. But I still couldn't relax totally until I hit 20 weeks and knew I was feeling movement and the u/s showed a healthy baby. With my mmc a month ago, I found out my baby's hb had stopped between 13 1/2 and 14 weeks. I ended up having a D&C when I would have been 15 weeks. Knowing this, I don't think I'll breathe easy with my next pregnancies until after labor and delivery and I'm holding that squirming, squawking little baby in my arms.

 

[PugLuvAh]

Dairymomma--I am so sorry for your losses

Good luck in the future, I hope you get your rainbow baby very soon xxoo

 

[celine]

I think what the others have said rings truw, i mc onky 5 weeks ago and got my bfp...im half in denial half frightened. When i get past thepoint where i mc and see a hb i think it may be better, but like someone else has said you never get over that fear, its like a loss of innosence i think.

 

[PugLuvAh]

Celine, I think you're right, I've totally lost my 'innocence' about pregnancy.

Tomorrow I pass my first milestone, I will be past the point I lost my first one. Then maybe I can relax a little (maybe).