Not pregnancy related, just venting :(

[CutenessANR]

Maybe it is pregnancy related, though....maybe my hormones make it out to be more than what it is, idk. Please ignore how messed up it is, but my man and myself (along with our kids) are currently living with his ex and their daughter until we can afford our own place. Tonight, we invited an old friend to stay with us because he is homeless right now. When he got here, we hung out for a while and then my man woke our girls up trying to get the spare mattress out from under their bed for our friend to sleep on. He then woke up our boy to trade blankets and give the bigger blanket to our guest. After doing all of this, our friend went into our roommate's room (my boyfriend's ex). He is sleeping in there with her. Since my man found this out, he has been pissed off. I asked him what was wrong and he said nothing, and went outside. A little while later i asked him again if something was wrong and he snapped at me, said i needed to stop making something out of nothing. He said he is mad that he woke up the kids to make a place for our friend, just for him to go sleep in her room. I haven't said anything else about it cause it will only make him mad, but I am just convinced that he is mad that they may be having sex in there. He hasn't been with her in 3 years, but whenever she mentions a guy, he acts jealous...Makes me feel like I am not good enough...like I am just filling space until they get together again. Do you think he was telling the truth? or is he jealous...

 

[MrsGards]

Hmm its a very odd situation to be in (hope you dont mind me saying) but surely if his ex and your homeless friend want to shag in every which way they can, thats none of your oh's business. Id be slghtly concerned by his behaviour if im honest.
I cant offer any decent advice, as I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut for fear of a argument like you, id be in there arguing, which clearly isn't something you want to do.

Keep chilled hun and hopefully the situation will solve its self but id be wary. X x

 

[Mum2BKW]

it probably feels weird for him to have their sex life paraded in front of him like that. if I was living with an ex and knew they were sleeping with someone in the next room I'd probably feel upset too - not because I want to get back with them but just because it's a bit disrespectful and brazen of them. I'm sure he doesn't want to get back with her, but it's always strange when an ex moves on and to do it with a friend right in front of his face is bound to stir up some resentment.

 

[CutenessANR]

Thanks guys...My mother always says that men usually mean exactly what they say...that it is the women who manipulate what they say to make it more than what it is. I try very hard not to do that, but it is harder with me being pregnant...harder to hold my tongue and think clearly before assuming.

 

[bumski]

it probably feels weird for him to have their sex life paraded in front of him like that. if I was living with an ex and knew they were sleeping with someone in the next room I'd probably feel upset too - not because I want to get back with them but just because it's a bit disrespectful and brazen of them. I'm sure he doesn't want to get back with her, but it's always strange when an ex moves on and to do it with a friend right in front of his face is bound to stir up some resentment.

yeah but surely if he is comfortable moving his pregnant girlfriend and kids in with his ex he should not feel weird at all about his ex sleeping with someone else. If he does feel wierd he shouldnt be living back there with her. I know i dont understand the situation but i would not be happy if he was acting jealous at all.
Men ay?

 

[optimistic1]

I would open my mouth. I would put him in his place and tell him the fact that hes acting like the "jealous ex" is extremely disrespectful to you and if he is actually only angry because he had to wake up the kids to get a spot comfortable for his friend for him not to even sleep there then he needs to be told to suck it up cause the deed is done and getting pissed isnt going to change the fact that his friend would rather get some then sleep on a matress..which i believe that he is just jealous and it may be completely innocent and he may mean no disrespect to you at all and thats the exact reason we stay out of ex's personal lives. I really hope you guys find a place soon cause i know it has to be sooooo emotionally exhausting for you to be around her and him. I know i couldnt do it i would constantly be fighting with OH over it and it would cause insecurities to surface. Good luck sweety! If you dont want to argue with him try coming to him calmly and try to talk to him about how it made you feel and if you keep your tone nice and calm he may open up and be honest with you about why it bothered him so much.

 

[MorganEvans]

Strange indeed, the jealousy thing for your oh is a bit too much, in my opinion. You don't deserve to be treated that way.

 

[mac1979]

I think it is the Bro Code. Among guys you don't sleep with a friend's ex no matter how long they have been broken up. He is probably upset about that. I think it will pass.

 

[xhanne]

I don't think he has any room to be jealous of his ex I don't know why does it matter if she's sleeping with someone or not...how about ur oh and you living with her she probably is hurt too by knowing that he's in the room with you..but if they agreed to live together until u guys get ur own place than neither of them should be jealous!

 

[Misslatino]

Strange living situation.... I'd constantly feel awkward. Hope y'all can get y'all's own place soon, Hun. I'd be pissed and I wouldn't be able to hold it in. I would have to flat out ask if he was jealous or not. The behavior is extremely disrespectful. And I agree that yeah women usually are the ones manipulating what they say and men usually mean what they say but I think he would lie to avoid hurting your feelings if he were feeling jealous.... Sorry if that's harsh, but it just seems like jealous behavior to me.

 

[CutenessANR]

thank you everyone we talked more about it today since he isn't mad and he said he was mad because our friend has a girlfriend and our roommate was the same way with him...didn't care about anyone else but herself. He said it isn't fair to our friend's girl even though he is just as much at fault, but he didn't want me reading into it more than what it was. He is not jealous (and I believe him) and doesn't want her back...it just made him mad that she still manipulates guys to get what she wants.