Not ready, yet disappointed.

[day_by_day]

I'm new to this site and don't really know where else to post this.. but here goes. I'm 20 years old and in my Junior year of college-- nowhere near ready to have a baby. I have been with my boyfriend, (who's almost 22), for less than 6 months-- hardly any time at all. Yet, in my past I have had multiple bad boyfriends (complete jerks and very self-centered), and my current boyfriend is... amazing. I can't understand how one person could be so genuinely nice and treat me so well. I already know I love him. I knew that in month 2 of our relationship. Never felt happier with someone. He puts me first, which is such a new feeling for me.
So today I went to to doctor to see what was wrong with me. I've had cramping, nausea, etc. lately and haven't had my period for a while. A small part of me thought that I could be pregnant. While that freaked me out, another small part of me was actually.... happy. (Even though I knew I wasn't ready for a baby.) A few of my friends from high school are already engaged and expecting, which definitely opened my eyes to the fact that my twenties have begun, and so has everything that may come with it. I'm not saying I want all that right now, as I know many couples who get engaged at a young age have a hard time making their marriage work. However I am a little envious. Maybe I'm just overeager to start that part of my life... I'm not really sure.
Anyways, something that caught me a little off guard was when I told my boyfriend that I was awaiting results, he started talking to me about names for the baby, (especially if it was a boy-- he wanted to name him after his grandfather.) Now I know this doesn't necessarily mean that he's ready to have a baby. But just the fact that he didn't flip out over it put me at ease... and got me thinking.
But as it turns out, I'm not pregnant.
And when I saw the results I was actually a little bit disappointed. Is this strange? I know I'm not ready. I wouldn't be able to properly provide for this baby, and I know I'm too young (or that's how I feel at least). But was it a maternal instinct that kicked in, causing me to feel sad? Any advice or comments will help at this point. I'm just pretty disappointed and confused.
~Thanks so much~

 

[wwchix]

Its completely normal hun, don't worry. You're a woman and its our instinct to have children.

I know what you mean with the boyfriend situation. I was with my ex over 2 years and he treated me like crap, yet i agreed to get engaged to him but saw sense a few months later and let him.

Last March I met my now-husband. We were together by the May, engaged by July, moved in together end of September and married this June. We are now trying for a baby. I know he's the one hence marrying him and like you, I knew I loved him within a few months.

I think you'll be better in the WTT forums as theres other people who are waiting too and it makes you realise you're not alone. I was in there over a year before coming in here. Its so supportive and everyone is lovely. You just need to remember that there is a reason you're waiting, and when thats complete, then you can try try try

xx

 

[hickgirl4ever]

VERY normal I promise. I too am not in the right part of my life yet for a baby. Yet, i have a box of pg tests and get soooo excited when I think its possible for me to be pg. We don't use protection and I know that if I did become pg everything would work out just fine although I am a ft nursing student. I've been with my man for 10 years, since i was VERY young. When i get out of school we are gonna start actively trying . I know it's exciting but your young, wait til your out of school and married. Not just for yourself but for the baby! I def understand the excitement and eagerness though i promise and even for the guys!

 

[callmebaby]

I think its VERY normal. I have gone through my bouts of "baby fever" as my DH lovingly calls it. At times it got bad, almost painful how much I wanted a baby. But I'm very happy with how my life has finally gotten organized. This may sound crazy, but both times when I had serious baby fever, I adopted a puppy! It helped a lot!! I got to use my nurturing instincts and while the desire to have a baby didn't go away, it did lessen because I had something else that needed me.

Now, I have two crazy wonderful dogs, a wonderful husband of 3 years, we own our home, and I'm halfway through my graduate school program. It wasn't easy, but I'm glad I didn't have a baby when I really wanted it before because things have lined up so nicely to try to start a family now. Stability is a really wonderful thing (and something that dogs and other animals don't need!). Good luck!