Not sure what to do! Please Help! :(

[tone]

Hi Ladies,

Im so god damn confused and dont know what to do! I wrote a post a few days ago saying i had realllllllly sore nipples, well it hasnt got any better and i'm considering giving up altogether. I've just had enough. I panic whenever i know he's going to need feeding because i know whats coming, i'm not enjoying my time with him like i should be! Also it doesnt seem to be coming all that natural to me, when i feed him i cant relax, its more of a chore to me than anything! Maybe i'm doing something wrong? My HV said it's all fine, his latch etc. So maybe it's just not for me?
I've tried for over 2 weeks and its just not working for me!
Do you think i should keep perservering or just give up? I wish i could do it because i know it's better for him, it's just its making me so unhappy!

Also, i'm so worried because i've tried telling my OH but he's not having any of it. He doesnt understand how i feel! My mum as well would be so dissapointed in me! She rang me earlier and i was crying and she asked what was wrong, i didnt want to tell her becuase i knew she'd be upset with me, so she kept bugging me and i told her, straight away she changed the subject and didnt mention it again..!! I dont know what to do. I feel really silly for writing this. Like a failure.

Any advice?

xxxxxxx

 

[Mervs Mum]

First of all you mustnt feel like a failure no matter how things pan out. You gave birth and you have been feeding him since then which is a massive success!!!!

I know exactly how you feel. I felt the same way with Emily. All I can tell you is that I gave up after about 6 weeks and sore nipps were the start of it. I really wished I'd carried on but at the time I had to stop. I dont want to encourage you to stop but at the same time you mustnt feel pressurised to carry on.

Have you tried pumping? Perhaps you could alternate feeds between you and bottles - if you want you could use formula for one feed and you feed him the next time. Did you get some Lansinoh? Its a tenner a tube but it works wonders. If you havent why dont you get some first thing and while you're there you could pick up some nipple shields and maybe try them to give your nipps a rest when you do feed.

You can easily switch things round to rest your nipples and then if you wanted to you can soon increase your own milk supply and get back to BFing exclusively or you might like combining the two.

You might not feel like it now because you're totally frazzled with all this by the sounds of it, but you can get through this and fine a solution that you can be happy with. If thats moving to formula then so be it. I wish I'd tried a little harder before giving up last time. I almost gave up this time too only a week in!!

Try to put what other people think out of your mind honey. Do what you need to and if you want to talk you know where we are. xxx

 

[marley2580]

All I can say is that it does get better. But if it's making you unhappy and you want to stop, don't let anyone make you feel guilty - your baby, your body, your choice.

 

[angellica]

You have done so well. Don't worry about what others think. You are not a failure. It's not worth making yourself unhappy aboout it. You need to enjoy it. Perhaps pumping for a bit is the answer?

Have you spoken to a BF counsellor? Have you tried a different hold? I found that the rugby ball hold helped a bit.

I have had sore nips since day one (to the point of getting in a panic and dreading every feed) and this is the fourth I've BF'd and I have thought about giving up on several occasions, but I am trying to perservere in the hope it gets better.

 

[clairebear]

First of all you mustnt feel like a failure no matter how things pan out. You gave birth and you have been feeding him since then which is a massive success!!!!

I know exactly how you feel. I felt the same way with Emily. All I can tell you is that I gave up after about 6 weeks and sore nipps were the start of it. I really wished I'd carried on but at the time I had to stop. I dont want to encourage you to stop but at the same time you mustnt feel pressurised to carry on.

Have you tried pumping? Perhaps you could alternate feeds between you and bottles - if you want you could use formula for one feed and you feed him the next time. Did you get some Lansinoh? Its a tenner a tube but it works wonders. If you havent why dont you get some first thing and while you're there you could pick up some nipple shields and maybe try them to give your nipps a rest when you do feed.

You can easily switch things round to rest your nipples and then if you wanted to you can soon increase your own milk supply and get back to BFing exclusively or you might like combining the two.

You might not feel like it now because you're totally frazzled with all this by the sounds of it, but you can get through this and fine a solution that you can be happy with. If thats moving to formula then so be it. I wish I'd tried a little harder before giving up last time. I almost gave up this time too only a week in!!

Try to put what other people think out of your mind honey. Do what you need to and if you want to talk you know where we are. xxx

totally agree with mervs mum.

u shouldnt feel pressurised into conitiuning u hvae done so well already and if u cant carry on it should be ur decision. xxx

 

[shanegem]

I would definately get in touch with a breastfeeding counsellor, IF you want to carry on. I really struggled at the begining, so I rang the breastfeeding network and they put me in touch with a breastfeeding counsellor and things got better straight away.
What position are you using? Are you applying lansinoh inbetween feeds?

 

[alio]

god i love you ladies,

tone, i don;t have any advice because i decided to stop BF at about two weeks. in the end it wasn't for me. Whatever you decide darling, it's nobody's decision but your own. you do not need to bow down to the pressure. i felt like this but once i'd stopped and accepted it it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

do whatever YOU want. if you can work out a way of continuing - fantastic! if not, don't bloody stress. xx

 

[sam's mum]

First of all you mustnt feel like a failure no matter how things pan out. You gave birth and you have been feeding him since then which is a massive success!!!!

I know exactly how you feel. I felt the same way with Emily. All I can tell you is that I gave up after about 6 weeks and sore nipps were the start of it. I really wished I'd carried on but at the time I had to stop. I dont want to encourage you to stop but at the same time you mustnt feel pressurised to carry on.

Have you tried pumping? Perhaps you could alternate feeds between you and bottles - if you want you could use formula for one feed and you feed him the next time. Did you get some Lansinoh? Its a tenner a tube but it works wonders. If you havent why dont you get some first thing and while you're there you could pick up some nipple shields and maybe try them to give your nipps a rest when you do feed.

You can easily switch things round to rest your nipples and then if you wanted to you can soon increase your own milk supply and get back to BFing exclusively or you might like combining the two.

You might not feel like it now because you're totally frazzled with all this by the sounds of it, but you can get through this and fine a solution that you can be happy with. If thats moving to formula then so be it. I wish I'd tried a little harder before giving up last time. I almost gave up this time too only a week in!!

Try to put what other people think out of your mind honey. Do what you need to and if you want to talk you know where we are. xxx

Totally agree! And don't let anyone make you feel guilty if you do decide to stop - you being hapy and relaxed is important for your baby too!

Having said that, I'm still feeding Sam after 8 months and the first few weeks were awful. My nipples were so badly cracked and I was in so much pain I wanted to cry every time he needed fed. I never thought I'd make it this far because it just seemed too hard. But then Ihad so many people (without any pressure) saying how much better it gets, and how easy it becomes just being able to feed whenever you need to without having to think about sterlising bottles and sorting out formula to take with you. And they were right - it does get so much better, and I love it now (not quite sure how I'm going to be able to stop now!)

If his latch is ok, then the pain should get better quite quickly (is the pain only at the start of the feed as he latches on?) and if he'll take a bottle you could try pumping too - my left nipple got better so much faster, so I used to feed him from that side first every day and pump the right (as it was worse when they were really full in the mornings) which gave my nipple a bit of a break too.

But you really do need to do whatever is going to make you most comfortable - you are not a failure in any way, so ignore everyone else and remember that this time is also a time you should be enjoying with your new baby, not stressing about his feeding. As long as you are happy, he will be too - however you're feeding him x

 

[sam's mum]

And as other people have said, I would really recommend speaking to someone. Doctors and HVs don't always know what they're talking about when it comes to breastfeeding, latching etc and just changing the smallest thing might make a huge difference to the pain - and if it's not just painful at the start of every feed there probably is something you need to change...out latch looked fine but was all wrong which was why I was in pain - I wasn't given any guidance at all on the maternity ward.

The hospital where I had Sam runs a weekly breastfeeding clinic, so there might be something like that near you. There are a couple of numbers you can call as well for advice, and they might be able to recommend someone local you can see or a clinic you can go to:

La Leche League 0845 120 2918

The Breastfeeding Network 0844 412 4664 (if you call from a landline you get put through to someone local - they're all mums who are breastfeeding or have in the past so the support is really good) x

 

[charlie07]

I was exactly the same for a while, as my nipples became more sore each feeding, I started to hate the feeding time coming and never looked forward to it!! In the beginning I thought it was wonderful, but when you are in pain all the time, it can put you off so quickly and think why put yourself through it!! I too eflt like a failure, but then it turned out that I wasn't producing enough milk, so Gabbi is now part time on breast and mainly formula. Luckily she still takes to the breast, so I am lucky.

Can I suggest trying silicone nipples. They are bloody fantastic. Don't get me wrong, they don't stop the pain but ohhhhhhh it was so much better than none at all and helped me to continue feeding for a while. Also gave my nipples time to heal and after a while I went back to my nipple and thoroughly enjoyed it.

If you go onto formula, try just breast feeding now and again once you have had time to heal, it's lovely. You may find it more enjoyable. I tend to give her the breast when she's wanting food waaaaay too early, so she's goes on as an alterntaive to a dummy, as she doesn't like them!

 

[AC81]

you're not alone! my bubs is only a week old, and the first few days after my milk came in I was dreading her needing a feed because I knew what was about to come ie pain!!! I had to sing at the top of my lungs to stop myself screaming. And what's worse is that I was worried I was hurting her because as an involuntary reflex I would grab her really tightly as she latched. On Tuesday night we took her to the hospital because she started spitting up loads of blood, clots and all - turns out my nipple had cracked really bad while she was suckling and she ingested all the blood.

I think we're out of the woods now, but its early days, and I don't know what's around the corner. She is on me constantly now, like every hour or two and I'm so scared they will crack again or become raw like before. I'm also worried I'm not even making enough milk for her which is why she's on me all the time.

you do what's best for you. Midwives really bully you to feed, but if you're not enjoying it then stop, you need to enjoy your time with your baby. My husband and his family are very anti-breastfeeding so I know how you feel (but in reverse as they all think I should stop). I'm sick of the comments that I should be bottle feeding her because I don't know how much she's drinking bl a bla bla!

 

[tone]

hi girls! i really dont know what i'd do without you all! honestly your replies really have helped me! i was being pressurised to keep breast feeding by everybody and i was getting so down! i've now told everyone to f*** off! it's my body and my baby, i'll do whats best for me!! without your support and encouragement i might never have done it!
i'm going to try combination feeding for a while (expressed milk) until my milk dries up, which apparently it will if i just express, and going to try aptamil.
again thank u ladies. without you all i wouldnt be doing what i wanted to do. your all bloody amazing!!!

 

[sam's mum]

So glad you're doing what's best for you and not worrying about what other people think Hope it goes well for you x