Not sure why but really anxious about miscarriage at the moment

[Catrina123]

All this after seeing my baby with a strong heartbeat 161bmp. They said that my bean measured well. But having a lot of small little aches tonight I have suddenly become sad at the thought of losing my little bean. I have heard so many woman talking about losing their babies at 12-13-14 weeks. Its like I am very scared to get happy with this pregnancy. The doctor said my chances went down for miscarriage because they saw a heartbeat but at the age of 35 what does that mean? My husband tries to help and comfort me telling me it will be okay.......just really scared. My friend did not help by telling me most first pregnancy end in miscarriages. Not even sure why she would say that to me? Anyway, any advice on how to handle this depression and anxiety over miscarriage?

 

[dollyemi]

I think we all fear this in the first tri. You hear so much about "don't make it public until you're 12 weeks" etc it makes us fear losing the baby before this time.

Don't know where your friend got her facts from but she is completely wrong that most first pregnancies end in mc!! What a thoughtless thing to say. I remember telling my friend I was pregnant when I was about. 6/7 weeks gone but she was pretty negative but was just worrying about me getting too carried away so early on.

I'm 37 and this is my first baby, for the first and second tri I was constantly thinking that every cramp, twinge etc was bad news, especially when i had a little bleed at 9 weeks. what i didn't realise was that the cramping and twinges and even light bleeding are all completely normal as the uterus starts to stretch and bleeding can be just from simply irritating the cervix.

To keep me positive and worry free, I didn't google anything and sometimes avoided the first tri section if there were any negative posts or mc stories. Unfortunately when you are pregnant people rush to tell you the horror stories and bad things, you don't often get to hear the positive stuff. It's the same as labour approaches, I have told well meaning friends that I don't want to know everything about their long/painful labours as every one is different and I don't want the stress.

You will obsessively check your underwear for blood or sign of mc for weeks, we all do it. You're not alone, the anxiety is normal, just celebrate each week, it won't be long until you have your 12 week scan and as time goes on you feel more confident. Don't get hung up in the age thing either, lots of us are doing this for the first time over 35 and are just as healthy and capable of going full term

 

[Lady H]

Dolly said it best. I know how you feel, I am pregnant with my first ever BFP at 40 years old and as told high risk of miscarriage due to my age and it being my first ever pregnancy by "friends". Well fingers still crossed I am 22 weeks, but I still check obsessively and worry. That worry will never end, it's your brain preparing you for the joys of being a Mummy! Congrats and I wish you every joy in your 9 months and resulting beautiful baby. Xx

 

[Eve2012]

Two days ago my symptoms seemed to lessen and then today I had a minute spot of very very light brown discharge. I panicked and thought the worst.

My first doc's appointment isn't until the 15th. I talked with my Mom tonight and she rather laughed saying that pregnancy is NOT a disease or sickness but a natural state of being and not worry if my symptoms disappeared. She told me she felt the best she ever has when pregnant with me and later with my brother.

She said only to worry if the discharge became dark red and I had bad cramping.

This is my first pregnancy too. I'm 39. Anyways I' going to bake some apple crumble to keep occupied. I made marmelade the other night and banana bread the night before. Baking just feels right, right now.

Hope you all are well!

 

[beachgal]

I completely share your fears!
Even at 15w I still have anxiety and worries and as the other ladies said, it will probably be here to stay!
I will also be doing my best to celebrate all of the great moments along the way. (And of course secretly wishing time would speed up a bit )

 

[Foxybabyhg3]

I totally feel the same. I feel the odds are against me and I'm analysing every cramp and tp. I hope I feel better after my scan next week. I've been cramping but now I think it was bowel/ intestine related

 

[dollyemi]

I totally feel the same. I feel the odds are against me and I'm analysing every cramp and tp. I hope I feel better after my scan next week. I've been cramping but now I think it was bowel/ intestine related

First weeks are awful, but at 7 weeks the cramping is likely to be your uterus stretching as your little person starts to grow. Your uterus will grow to 500 times its original size so don't worry, you'll get some cramps and stretchy pains along the way. Brown blood is old blood so I would only worry if you get heavy red bleeding along with the cramps.
Washing you a happy and healthy pregnancy

 

[Catrina123]

I totally feel the same. I feel the odds are against me and I'm analysing every cramp and tp. I hope I feel better after my scan next week. I've been cramping but now I think it was bowel/ intestine related

I also had one huge cramp and a smaller one that followed but I had bowel movements 3-4 minutes afterwards. I tried to follow some of the peoples advice on here and not worry about it but its hard. I did feel less anxious when I had bowel movements shortly afterwards.

 

[binksmommy]

Stay positive..Don't stress!! Everything will be great!!

 

[Bubba Cub]

I understand how you feel and I also agree with what everyone had said so far.

This will be my third child (next youngest is 9yrs old) and I think I have been stressing so much more with this one than I did with my other two kids. I think that because I have wanted this one for years and years and now it's finally happened as well as my age makes me feel quite anxious.
I over analyse every twinge, cramp and immediately jump to google...most of the time I find helpful answers from forums but then there are the not so good stories and statistics....I really need to stay away from google!

Life is full of uncertainties, failures and of course successes, it just needs to be decided as to which one you will focus on.
By feeling anxious we are actually focusing on the future which may or may not even happen and not focusing on the present (and at present we have the most amazing miracle going on inside us).

Each day we need to remember that miracle and embrace it, send it positive thoughts only, I know that these nine months seem to go so slow but really the time flies so fast. My DS will be 12 yrs old next month and I can still remember seeing that positive on the hpt for the first time, really doesn't seem like 12 yrs ago! But over that 12 yrs I have still stressed about everything to do with him, I always will (even when he eventually has his own family), I don't think that you will ever stop worrying about your kids, it's very much a part of being a mother.

As this will definitely be my last I have made it a point to try and enjoy every single day of this pregnancy, cramps and all! Much harder to do than say however!

All the very best with your LO and I hope you have a very long and joyful life together.