NTNP...but failing at the 'not trying part'

[sallyhansen76]

Hey everyone,

It has been awhile since I've been on here. All my journals and blogs have been deleted (Yikes, sad) so I'll quickly put the situation in context.

OH and I are 15 years apart. I have one son from a previous relationship. We've been together for 5 years.
We are not using protecting and never have, but OH does pull out.
Last month, I had extremely sore breasts, and actually leakage (Milk) although I haven't been breastfeeding for 6 years! I immediately thought I could be pregnant, but AF showed up yesterday, after a batch of squinty test lines.

My problem is OH stand is he doesn't want to plan for kids (says he is too old...whatever that means LOL). He is content without ever having had any kids, but will be happy if 'Ever it happens' (I'd just like to point out how infuriating that ambiguous answer is). We've had all the conversations possible and his stance remains the same.

After this months 'possible' pregnancy I can't stop thinking about it.
And chances of conceiving on the Pull Out Method is probably really low, but I still feel like I want to perhaps tip the odds in our favor.

Uhhhh....
Just needed to vent. Thanks

 

[Bevziibubble]

Good luck

 

[sallyhansen76]

Does anyone else have a OH that is over 45 (Mine is 48) and thinks he won't be able to handle a baby.

How did you guys handle the skeptisism?

 

[AngelUK]

Hey there! Nice to see you on here!
It isn't the same I guess but my OH was 46 when our boys were born but we were both super excited and eager and had been trying for a long time. But I just wanted to say that if my OH could handle twins (with one that hardly slept for the first year), then so can yours handle one!
I think you should really tell him that you long for another baby and see if you can change his mindset. Good luck!

 

[Reiko_ctu]

Not sure how It works for most people but mum does most of the “handling” in our house XD

he can definitely handle it.

 

[LALSmith]

We've just conceived our fourth via the pull out method and so did my friend. We weren't trying and were very much surprised. I've since realised the time he pulled out was right bang in the middle of ovulation so it's very possible!
We're only 32 so can't comment on the age but with this surprise pregnancy were very much of same thinking as your partner - if it happens it happens and I am worried about having a fourth as it just seems like a big jump. Everythings going to be more expensive, we'll have even less time for us, the sleepless nights will be back etc but as my husband keeps saying "it'll be fine" and it always will. Noone ever regrets a child so if it does happen he'll get more exciting as time goes on (hopefully).
I guess the other side of it though is if you feel deep down he really isn't keen on having a baby then maybe you might have to look into other forms of contraception as the last thing you'd want is for him to not want a baby if/when it happens. Although saying that, if he's happy to stick it in without anything on it he should know that ultimately he could end up being a dad ! Lol

 

[sallyhansen76]

Thank you ladies!

That inspires me. I hope Life will see fit to bless us with a sticky bean. And this month....we are both on vacation for the whole week of my ovulation (hello wonderful timing) It isn't cheating if I make sure we BD every day right ?!?!

 

[Twag]

Hi :wave: good luck

 

[Bevziibubble]

Sounds like good timing! Good luck

 

[Becomeamum]

Make the most of that precious timing once everyone is aware of the pretences
Maybe have the chat about how upset you felt having gotten your hopes up and now you want to properly NTNP by leaving it in. He can always choose to pull out if scared, hopefully not too scared and just go with the flow xx
I hope you both have a wonderful time off together either way

 

[sallyhansen76]

Make the most of that precious timing once everyone is aware of the pretences
Maybe have the chat about how upset you felt having gotten your hopes up and now you want to properly NTNP by leaving it in. He can always choose to pull out if scared, hopefully not too scared and just go with the flow xx
I hope you both have a wonderful time off together either way

Thanks! I think this month, since we both have a week off, and will 'enjoy eachother's company kid free (since he is at school) for the week, I'll leave it as is.
But if nothing happens, and AF arrives I may bring up how I feel a bit dissappointed that there was a BFN. Who knows, perhaps he'll leave it in. Worst case scenerio is things will stay as they are.

@LALSmith WOw! that sounds like a handful, I bet you're right. He most definately would be able to. But in my experience (and from what I hear) men aren't always super confident before it happens. Some are of course.

I hope the theory of the 'laws of attraction' will bring a BFP

 

[Becomeamum]

Just checking in to see how you are doing!
Any talks? Just taking it easy..
Anyway hope your close to that time off

 

[sallyhansen76]

Hey @Becomeamum thank you so much for checking in.
He still says 'if it happens it happens'.
We had our vacation last week and I ovulated on the 9th or 10th.
We BD'd everyday except 8th. On the 10th he didn't pull out. So i figure our timing is good. I know he isn't naive so im waiting to test now. Waiting to see what happens.