Nursery or not

[Eternal]

I'm still awaiting diagnoses, these things take forever don't they? so far though, the mental health team, school, teachers, preschool and health visitors have concerns along the aspergers and/or ADHD lines.

He was 3 in December, we delayed started nursery as he was going to playground and still not potty trained, but eventually they couldn't manage his behaviour, he started nursery but his behaviour was so extreme at nursery and days after at home, I stopped it, he was hitting, biting, smashing windows, etc, then tried again and same thing, the school etc expressed concerns for his behaviour and eventually arranged meeting with mental Heath etc, so we waited for that and kept him home, at the meeting it was suggested to take him again, we set up a date so they could get more staff in as they say he needs 1-2-1, then they delayed it, he hast been since as we are have been away and he has been ill, but I'm wondering if anyone had issues at nursery and if so did you send them.

I'm so lost as he hasn't got a diagnosis so I don't belong anywhere.

 

[Tiff]

I think its different over here, but I kept Claire out of starting JK this past September for the same reasons with not having a diagnosis.

We brought her instead to a special needs nursery school and she's done very well, I don't regret my choice at all.

Having the diagnosis gives you more access to supports etc, so I definitely think you are doing the right thing, it is frustrating how long the process takes for sure! If mental health is saying he should go, then he should be going. Its not your kiddo's fault that they aren't putting enough in place to help him.

I personally feel its one thing when people are on the fence about whether or not a diagnosis will be given, but if they're already saying 1:1 support for him and he doesn't have it then he should IMHO. I've found that you really have to stand firm, be firm and polite but don't back down on what your kiddo needs.

 

[Eternal]

Thanks, I know it's so hard. Basically they can't handle him when he is there, he does flit from one thing to another, especially when there is too much going on, he can't cope, and then he lashes out when he gets home. He hurts other children and smashed a window, so they need support to cope with him, but I'm not happy because he obviously isn't coping with it all and no one wants to know your child has caused problems or hurt anyone else.

Part of me wants to keep him away until he has learnt to deal better and he is improving, but the other part feels like he should be going to adapt there.

I just wish we got an appointment soon, I need advise and because so many people are involved I get too much contradicting advise right now.

 

[lozzy21]

Would a private day nursery work better untill you get a diagnosis? They usualy have less children in the classes.

 

[ellismum]

I'd say go for it!

Ellis has recently been diagnosed with ADHD and having attend pre-school has really helped with supporting us and him in getting the diagnosis. They have a Nuture group which he attends regularly and is under the care of a dedicated SENCO team. All of those who are involved in his additional care have helped with the reports and observations they have done and now with his statement and applying for additional support going forward.

He is not starting school until January to give time for this to happen. I had a meeting with his new head teacher yesterday and she is in total agreement that we have done the right thing for him and having it all place now and not waiting until he'd started will be of huge benefit when he starts.

 

[sun]

School starts earlier here and my son is the youngest so he starts regular full day school in September at 3yrs9mo. But this year he was a preschool 5 mornings a week for 2h and even though I was terrified initially, he has really done well. If your LO can get the extra help he needs, then I think it's totally worth it to go. After seeing him these last 10 months, I really think I couldn't have provided when he's gotten out of being in that environment. That being said, if your son doesn't have the 1-on-1 he needs (and someone who understands how to work with him), then I wouldn't go until that is in place. My son would be frustrating to someone who doesn't have experience and it would cause more harm than good.

Also you are always welcome here with or without diagnosis! My son was diagnosed with global dev't delay at a young age (due to gross motor dev't - hypotonia and hypermobility + speech delay), and he has been on the ASD fence for 2 years now. But he doesn't have a true diagnosis of anything at all - just a list of symptoms. I'm ok with that as he gets the help he needs, but other places don't operate the same way. Lots of hugs to you! xx