O/h suffering depression doesnt want me around whilehe depressed

[dizzyshell]

My o/h has been on anti depressents for 7months , we split 7months ago and he couldnt cope and got prescribed antidepressents , he has been fine sincewe got backtogether .But he has suddenly stopped taking his pills for aweek and now he's in a bad way.he doesnt wanna be around anyone and i planned go his friday and now hissaying wants be alone ,im scared ttc is off for now .Butdont know what to dont know when we be together again and i feel pushedaway and unloved .
anyone had similar problem ?? sorry for the sad post xx

 

[rachel_f_]

Hello hun, hugs for you... Men deal with things in a different way to us women!! Strange creatures they are! I'm sorry your having to go through this, TTC is hard enough without the added stress your dealing with, things will work out the way their supposed to. BB me if you want a private talk babez keep your chin up.xxxxxxXx

 

[NavyWife84]

Hi Dizzy. I'm so sorry you are going through this right now. I have suffered from depression for about 15 years. I know there are times when everything seems to be going wrong and I just want to be alone. I call them "funks" and I just want to lay in bed and sleep. Although I often just want to be alone, it feels good to have my DH with me (although I also feel really guilty having him sit with me while I am just being a bump on a log). Other times, DH is able to get me up and moving and gets my mind off of things. He knows that I love to go for walks in parks, the zoo, and things like that. He tries to keep me busy so that I can't have my funks and just sleep the time away. It is hard to tell what your o/h needs right now and I'm sorry I don't really have an answer for you.
My main concern is that he gets off the meds prematurely. I have had major relapses from getting off the meds too early and just stopping "cold turkey". If he wants to get of the meds, he needs to ween himself off of them, not just stop them all at once. Is he talking to a therapist or anyone? It is really important that he does.

I know what you are going through it really hard, hon. Just remember that you are doing all you can to help your o/h and none of it is your fault. Please don't feel unloved. I know it is hard to be pushed away but he does love you and he probably doesn't want you to see him in a major funk. Sorry if this doesn't really help, but I just wanted to kind of give you a glimpse from his side of view. I hope everything works out for you and your o/h feels better soon.

 

[Armywife84]

Didn't want to R&R..perhaps you both would benefit from sitting this month out on TTC.

If he's off his depression meds, chances are he probably won't want to have or not be able to perform up to his usual standards.

Maybe your OH is deciding that the meds aren't for him and he wants to seek counseling instead? It's best not to push the TTC and calmly approach him about his depression. In order to feel better and not be stuck in a mental rut he needs either the medication or personal counseling (sometimes a little bit of both).
I hope your OH can get the help he needs..this may just a speed bump with this resistance he's pulling.

 

[Maurie]

My o/h has been on anti depressents for 7months , we split 7months ago and he couldnt cope and got prescribed antidepressents , he has been fine sincewe got backtogether .But he has suddenly stopped taking his pills for aweek and now he's in a bad way.he doesnt wanna be around anyone and i planned go his friday and now hissaying wants be alone ,im scared ttc is off for now .Butdont know what to dont know when we be together again and i feel pushedaway and unloved .
anyone had similar problem ?? sorry for the sad post xx

Dizzyshell,
I am so sorry that you have to go through this. My DH was in a Major depression for 3 years, Through our wedding and the first year of our marriage. He never wanted to go anywhere or do much of anything. We lived in our home for the first year of our marriage and didn't do too much. It was always a big fight to go to my parents or his parents for dinner. About 3 months after our wedding we started trying. It was very difficult however because of the depression he wasn't into I had to try very hard to get him interested. June of 2010 I decided that I was going to have people over even though he didn't want me to. I invited just our immediate families over for a cookout and that is when he finally had his last major meltdown. At one point took me into our bedroom and yelled. I couldn't figure out what he was having trouble with. When we talked about it later he finally recognized it was in fact a depression.
He fought the depression himself because he was opposed to being on medicine, and he did OK until his anxiety increased drastically. He couldn't go to a restaurant at dinner time and when we did go out he had to sit with his back to the wall. It was very difficult. We were at church one morning and he had to run out because he couldn't be around that many people. That is when he gave into medicine. He has been on it since April and takes it regularly. He does every so often forget a dose.

I tell you all of this to let you know you are not alone. It has been a major struggle for us as well as ttc. Which has turned into Ltttc. It wasn't until he was on medicine that he agreed to get his tested. Also the medicine doesn't do a whole lot in the way of because it actually decreases his drive. We have found that taking a fertility supplement helps his drive. He has a great looking SA but will do this to help counteract the decrease.

I know how hard this is and it seems like one more thing to deal with on top of ltttc. But we will all get through it and be holding our soon.

Let me know if you ever need to chat.

Sorry so long.

 

[dizzyshell]

Thanks ladies ,apperciate advice .

I forgot to mention i also have bipolar/depression but myn is under wraps im on a few medications and im on the level most days thanks to tablets.FS said my meds are fine TTc but i cant breast feed.

I know how he feels more than anyone in his company inc family .BUT he said he just wants to be left alone.We use to live with eachother but we had a brief split and now we're living apart.so its mega hard to talk to him when its not in person .
I sent him textes last nite saying i'll be there for him and he was very greatful but i juts dont know what else to do .
im suppose to be Seeing him friday for10days but he said he wants be alone , so its hard to take .

Wanna thankyou all for your replies mean alot
babydust to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[blueeyedgirl1]

It's not usually a good idea to just stop medication for depression. It took me 3 months to wean off my meds and another 3 months before all the withdrawal symptoms are gone.

I would put TTC aside for the minute and focus on him. He needs to see his doctor - if he wants to come off the meds, he'll need to do it in a supervised, structured way. Cold turkey does NOT work with this type of medication.

If he even has a fraction of the withdrawal symptoms I had whilst coming off my meds (even if it was controlled), the last thing on his mind will be sex.

 

[BBgirl]

Yes I agree with all above. He needs to restart those medications urgently at the same dose. Then he will feel better within days. But he should see his specialist and discuss his concerns about the medication and see if there is perhaps an alternative medication he could try? I think mild depressions can be "fought" but a long-term type of depressive disorder is usually due to an imbalance of neurotransmitters in the brain. It's like trying to "fight" diabetes without insulin, you can't. I have suffered bipolar 2 for about 20 years and I have regular depressions, some moderate, some severe. I felt like I was dying a couple of times when I stopped my meds suddenly. Do you think he is well enough just now to be TTC? If you put the focus on his health and off the TTC, your chances of conceiving will be much higher, because it sounds like he is a pretty anxious person. Perfomance anxiety can reck your chances of conceiving if you go back to trying before he has made a recovery.