:/ O/T but advice please. Single mum? Feelings for OH

[loulou12321]

Well my LO is 13 days today I love her so much but I can't say I feel the same for oh anymore. I just dont feel like I love him and if im honest I think I'm only staying with him for somewhere to live as ATM I cant afford to live on myself with LO. But when I think, I can't bare to think about loosing him I don't know how I'd cope? So why the hell do I feel like this? I don't feel like I love him, I want to leave him and take LO with me but yet I can't bare to loose him?

I'm so confused with myself

 

[xxxKatiexxx]

Aww hun sorry i dont have any helpful advice. its a struggle after givig birth and your lo is still really young, just take some time to adjust and see how you feel in a while. then possibly talk to your oh about how your feeling, i know its easier said than done. if you want to talk pm me xx

 

[Louppey]

Are you with your OH or are you a single Mum who is just living with him?

If you're with him, I think it's just an adjustment, the love you feel for LO in those early days is so overwhelming... things will settle and although you'll still have that overwhelming love for LO you'll find you love your OH just as much as before too

I think that the first love for LO is just nothing anyone has experienced before and it just throws you off a little

 

[loulou12321]

Thanks. N I'm with my oh so no I'm not a single mum just wondered what it was like been one? It's hard to talk to him tho as he just doesnt listen and makes a big deal out of things so my feeling end up building up inside me

 

[shimmy]

I love my baby much more than I love my husband, not nice but true. It's hard adjusting because of this overwhelming love I now have in my life. Now though he does more and because the baby sleeps from 6 we have more time for us, it gets better. I know I love him because I get sad when I think of him not being there.
Have u been out by yourself yet? Just maybe to get a top or coffee . It feels like you've lost a limb but its nice to have a baby free hour xx

 

[xCookieDough]

I love my baby much more than I love my husband, not nice but true. It's hard adjusting because of this overwhelming love I now have in my life. Now though he does more and because the baby sleeps from 6 we have more time for us, it gets better. I know I love him because I get sad when I think of him not being there.
Have u been out by yourself yet? Just maybe to get a top or coffee . It feels like you've lost a limb but its nice to have a baby free hour xx

^^^
Totally agree, have some "me" time as well hun we all need a break once in a while. Also try to speak to your OH about your feelings it's better to let it out than to keep it bottled up! It's hard during the first few weeks as we're all tired and trying to settle down into this new life and ofcourse, the hormones are still there and flowing! Takes a while for them to settle down. Good luck with everything feel free to PM me if you want to speak some more
___XO

 

[loulou12321]

Tried talking to him but when I say something he doesnt like he goes on one. N now hes gone out and all he said was 'see u sunday' im so mad

 

[xCookieDough]

Men sometimes ey! Your trying to speak to him and tell him how he feels and he just goes out , try not to get to mad hun, just forget about him atm and relax. Men don't like it when they hear the truth do they! They can't handle it, but this is your feelings and it's not something he should be brushing off
___XO

 

[supertabby]

I really suggest you don't make any decisions until Lo is at least 6 months old. You're going through the biggest upheaval life can throw at you, your body has gone through so much, your hormones are going mad, you're probably sleep deprived. It's impossible to think straight at this stage imo.

You may be adjusting to your new love for Lo by "removing" love from your oh. The fact that you don't like the thought of being without him sounds like there's still something there.

Give yourself time to adjust. When you are able to leave Lo with someone else then have some quality time with oh. Talk to him about your feelings but maybe phrase it as you feel having the baby on your lives is not leaving time for your relationship - instead of talking about maybe not loving him, as once said that's hard to come back from. I'm not trying to advocate dishonesty, just think its maybe that you only need a bit of time to get your head together? Only you know really though.

Good luck.

 

[jojo_b]

Don't make any major decisions while hormones are all crazed. It's natural to feel cut off from everyone other than your baby - nature's way of ensuring you bond etc. Let things settle down and give your relationship time x x

 

[loulou12321]

Thank u every1

 

[Lara310809]

did you feel this way before your LO was born? Do you think perhaps it's a bit fo the "Baby Blues"? I don't normally chalk things down to hormones, but you sound confused as to what you want. All I would say is unless you're 100% sure, don't act on your feelings just yet. If you tell your OH you don't love him anymore, but part of you still does, you can't always come back from that.

 

[loulou12321]

I felt like it when I was pregnant yes. But before I loved him so much, he ment the world to me so i dont no what has changed

 

[Agiboma]

I think becoming a mother and loving someone more than him is probably the cause. For me i love LO WAYYYYY more than oh, i thought i loved oh before but now im a mommy i realized that its not the case.

 

[emalou90]

All for advice giving but perhaps this is more suited for the 'Relationships' section as many of us have spoken about this before, this is for Single parents/ex Singltons, not for 'on the fence' singletons.

good luck with whatever you choose

x

 

[whoops]

All for advice giving but perhaps this is more suited for the 'Relationships' section as many of us have spoken about this before, this is for Single parents/ex Singltons, not for 'on the fence' singletons.

good luck with whatever you choose

x

This was actually posted in Baby Club first - it was the mods who moved it.

 

[emalou90]

All for advice giving but perhaps this is more suited for the 'Relationships' section as many of us have spoken about this before, this is for Single parents/ex Singltons, not for 'on the fence' singletons.

good luck with whatever you choose

x

This was actually posted in Baby Club first - it was the mods who moved it.

really? oh my mistake then

myself and some others had a discussion the other day about this type of post that's all.

 

[loulou12321]

Ye it was posted in baby club I only just realised they moved it. Thanku for all advice