Of course it happened

[ashaz]

So I posted before how nervous I was for this weekend b/c my husbands uncles were coming into town - they tend to say things that upset me. Also, NOONE in my husbands family called, sent a text, an email wishing me well after the mc (they sent things to my husband but nothing to me). So this was literally the 1st day that I was seeing everyone post mc. I was literally so anxious that I thought I was going to have a panic attack.

Since the mc, I have not felt very attractive and have been kinda down with how my body looks. As I started to show at 5 weeks and had already developed a tummy b4 the mc, I have not yet fit back in my prebaby clothes. With my husbands urging, I went shopping to find an outfit that would hide my stomach and to find something that lifted my spirits a little bit. It took me >30 mins to get ready to where I felt good about myself and felt confident when I left the house.

We had asked that my husbands mother/father tell the uncles on Friday when they arrived so that they wouldn't make any comments. We verified that they had been informed prior to us leaving the house.

Upon arrival I get out, feeling good only to have the uncle greet me by ..... patting my stomach and saying 'Looks like you have put on a little weight'. Later in the night my FIL asked me why I was upset - my husband told him - his comment "He was just drunk" - oh well that makes it ok then. To make it worse is the uncles daughter is now 4 months pregnant - wouldn't that make them MORE sympathetic? Then my SIL was talking to the uncle's wife and offering her maternity clothes to their daughter b/c 'I don't know anyone else that needs them now...'

I feel like emotionally I am back to where I was just over a week ago. On Saturday I was finally able to laugh, feel relaxed and start getting back to my routine. Now I just feel that I am living a bad dream. I told my husband that the last week of this month we are grabbing our 2 year old daughter, getting in the car and just driving somewhere to spend time together!!!

 

[CathiiNoo]

Hi hun. Didn't wanna read and run. I'm really sorry that you have to go through this sort of thing. I have never been pregnant or mc, but I've had snide comments from my oh's mother saying I'm putting on weight and then laughing when I get upset. Saying she didn't mean it nasty, she just doesn't know how to say it cause she speaks another language to me.. Lol don't know how more obvious she can be, she plain bluntly said I'm getting fat. It's the worst feeling and especially from what you've been through I can tell how much worse it is. I won't tell you to ignore them and pretend you don't care cause it's hard and it will never happen. Just know your oh obivously finds you attractive and that's all that really matters! Big hugs xx

 

[italianlady14]

"On Saturday I was finally able to laugh, feel relaxed and start getting back to my routine. Now I just feel that I am living a bad dream. "

Ashaz, I am with you. That is exactly how I feel today. I have felt so bleh after the M/C and this weekend I felt like I was getting on my feet until Sunday when I ran into lots of newborn baby talk.

People can be very insensitive. And men particularly, just don't understand it. Its not easy to ignore, but keep your head high.

 

[celine]

Ppl can be so insesatve i feel so horrible in my body after two back to back mc, so my body has been oregnant since april and i look fat andyucky!

 

[emicakess]

That sounds like a nightmare ash Im sorry ): Why are in laws typically so horrible??? I didnt want to read and run, i wanted to stop and give you some support.. i know how you feel about the body thing my boobs used to be perky ugh. I cant imagine somone saying something about it though how rude!!!!!!!!! I hope you are feeling yourself again very soon and I am so so sorry for your loss...