tasha41
Mum & Dad + 1
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2008
- Messages
- 24,247
- Reaction score
- 0
Okay so my OH & I are together but living separately even though we have a child. The situation... about 80% of the time... absolutely sucks for me. The reason we're doing this is so that we can afford to buy a house when we're ready to move out.. BUT HONESTLY SOMETIMES.. he frustrates me so much! I don't know if it's so much him as this situation in general.
Sure, I live at home with my parents and siblings.. my mum and my sister help sometimes.. but as time goes by, times I get help have become few and far between. If I ask for help, which I don't very often, I get the "omg fine she's not my kid" (from my sister)... fair enough. If OH & I were on our own and he was at work, I wouldn't have the chance to ask anyone for help, so whatever. But when her friends are over she takes Elyse from her playpen or asks to hold her so she can show her off to her friends which drives me nuts, but I welcome the break, so I allow it? I know she's fine with her.. I don't want to whine about them though, it's my OH.
Wednesday night he did come over but he was hanging out with my dad the whole time (not his fault, my dad makes him. It's so frustrating.. he comes to see me & his daughter, and in my mind, it's my chance to have a bit of a break.. I still usually do everything but it's a couple hours I can throw laundry in or grab a shower or have someone else do one feed or one diaper change or give her a cuddle once in a day)
Anyways Thursday he didn't come over because he got home from work at 9pm. It aggrivates me soooo much.. I know it's not his fault, he goes home and decides he's too tired to come over. Fair enough, he's got to get up at 5:30am for work.. but hey guess what. My day is not over yet and I have to wake up at 5am some days, never later than 6:30am.
Then tonight! He was home at like 6pm, got here at 8:30ish and was gone again by 10:20!! And he wasn't even going home, he went to his friend's. I know he wasn't trying to be inconsiderate but I'm missing my friend's birthday tonight because I have to be at home with Elyse, he's just going over to his friend's to drink beer for the hell of it.
I asked him about going to buy a high chair (we don't need it yet, but I got a tax benefit and can afford it now and want to buy it before I spend the money).. I need to get some nipples (think most of you call them teats for bottles) or new bottles for Elyse, and baby sunglasses for her. Wouldn't mind getting myself some summer clothes as the ones from last summer won't do right now. And he said maybe.. "if all goes well he'll be hungover in the morning"
Would not be so bad if he wasn't going out Saturday night as well (tomorrow) to watch the UFC fight at the bar and if I didn't have plans with Elyse on Sunday that he's not a part of (baby shower).
I respect and appreciate that he works the hours he does.. but it makes me mad when he reminds me, like he tells me he appreciates what I'm doing, etc. and understands and then he'll talk about his 14.5 hour job. Um, hello. My job is 24hrs/day!!
someone please acknowledge how insane this situation is, because no one who's involved aside from me seems to see how unfair it is. To Elyse too.. he misses so much she does and she misses seeing him some days... he thinks we've got it made... my parents & his parents think we're lucky, etc.
Sure, I live at home with my parents and siblings.. my mum and my sister help sometimes.. but as time goes by, times I get help have become few and far between. If I ask for help, which I don't very often, I get the "omg fine she's not my kid" (from my sister)... fair enough. If OH & I were on our own and he was at work, I wouldn't have the chance to ask anyone for help, so whatever. But when her friends are over she takes Elyse from her playpen or asks to hold her so she can show her off to her friends which drives me nuts, but I welcome the break, so I allow it? I know she's fine with her.. I don't want to whine about them though, it's my OH.
Wednesday night he did come over but he was hanging out with my dad the whole time (not his fault, my dad makes him. It's so frustrating.. he comes to see me & his daughter, and in my mind, it's my chance to have a bit of a break.. I still usually do everything but it's a couple hours I can throw laundry in or grab a shower or have someone else do one feed or one diaper change or give her a cuddle once in a day)
Anyways Thursday he didn't come over because he got home from work at 9pm. It aggrivates me soooo much.. I know it's not his fault, he goes home and decides he's too tired to come over. Fair enough, he's got to get up at 5:30am for work.. but hey guess what. My day is not over yet and I have to wake up at 5am some days, never later than 6:30am.
Then tonight! He was home at like 6pm, got here at 8:30ish and was gone again by 10:20!! And he wasn't even going home, he went to his friend's. I know he wasn't trying to be inconsiderate but I'm missing my friend's birthday tonight because I have to be at home with Elyse, he's just going over to his friend's to drink beer for the hell of it.
I asked him about going to buy a high chair (we don't need it yet, but I got a tax benefit and can afford it now and want to buy it before I spend the money).. I need to get some nipples (think most of you call them teats for bottles) or new bottles for Elyse, and baby sunglasses for her. Wouldn't mind getting myself some summer clothes as the ones from last summer won't do right now. And he said maybe.. "if all goes well he'll be hungover in the morning"
Would not be so bad if he wasn't going out Saturday night as well (tomorrow) to watch the UFC fight at the bar and if I didn't have plans with Elyse on Sunday that he's not a part of (baby shower).
I respect and appreciate that he works the hours he does.. but it makes me mad when he reminds me, like he tells me he appreciates what I'm doing, etc. and understands and then he'll talk about his 14.5 hour job. Um, hello. My job is 24hrs/day!!
someone please acknowledge how insane this situation is, because no one who's involved aside from me seems to see how unfair it is. To Elyse too.. he misses so much she does and she misses seeing him some days... he thinks we've got it made... my parents & his parents think we're lucky, etc.
Babies (plus housework etc.) are much harder than whatever job he's doing imo!
