OH blabbermouth >:(

[Twister]

My OH told his mom tonight that we're TTC. I wouldn't mind but he didn't ask me if I minded, and I was under the impression that we weren't going to tell anyone. He's a lot more open with his parents than I am with mine, and he said that he's just excited which is nice to hear.

I'm just worried that because I'm only 20 (OH is 24) that people are going to judge and think I'm too young. From what he said she was ok with it, but she suggested we 'see the world' a bit more first and that we've got our whole lives to start a family. I understand her point of view and that may be true but we've got our whole lives for a lot of things and we aren't interested in travelling, we just want to start a family! And have done for a very long time. If we want to travel we can when the kids are grown up and have moved out. People act like when you have kids you can't do anything ever again, they do grow up and move out eventually you know.

Sorry for the rant, just feeling a bit negative at the moment for a number of reasons.

 

[Jess137]

I understand how you feel, with people basically telling you your life will be over once you have kids (WTH?). I am guilty of the same thing as your OH...I told DH's family. (Not mine, they would have a fit). He was ok with telling them but then he changed his mind! Too late!

Anyway, just letting you know that there are a lot of us who know how you feel, and feel the same. Good luck in your journey!

 

[wantanerd]

I was blindsided one night when I was talking to my SIL online. She said, "so clomid huh?"

I immediately called my hubby who was away for training and reamed him out for telling her without asking me. I was under the same impression that we were keeping it from his family. I didn't want the added pressure of them knowing. I told my SIL yes we were trying but we hadn't told that many people and wanted to keep it that way.

I am with you on the "see the world" comment. DH was trying to sell me on that a few years ago when I was itching to start trying but my mom and stepfather still traveled and left me at my grandma's or I went over to my dad's house. Your life definitely doesn't stop when you have a kid.

As my aunt said, My kid came into my life, not the other way around.

 

[Speranza]

I feel ya on this one! There are 4 people in the world who know that I'm TTC and using clomid - me, my OH, my secretary and my best friend. My family is filled with fertile myrtles who I feel as though wouldn't understand my position. I planned to get pregnant and "act surprised" when it happened...

Then I found out OH told my BIL - who is 17 years old. I understand that he felt the need to share/ get it off his chest, but c'mon, the kid is a senior in high school, what does he care about clomid? or our desire for privacy? I'm waiting for us to announce the "surprise" to the family one day, and for him to be like "uhhh weren't you guys taking fertility meds and trying for a year?" grrrrrr, men!

 

[Twister]

Good to know I'm not alone on this one. Just feel a bit miffed about it, I know he's excited but I'm excited to. I just wouldn't dream of telling anyone? Maybe it's a woman thing.

Also I've always wanted the whole family holiday thing, even just to the good old British seaside. The whole 'see the world' thing has never interested me or OH. Family holidays to Blackpool all the way!

 

[unapologetik]

\I'm just worried that because I'm only 20 (OH is 24) that people are going to judge and think I'm too young..

I'm 22 and my OH is 21 and I know exactly what you mean. I would never tell anyone in my family I'm TTC - EVERYONE is very judgmental. My older sister is 31 and she had the first baby just a year ago (as in, the first grandchild and my first niece) and she thinks we should wait until we're at least in our late twenties (~26-29). My aunt is getting close to 50 and never had a child, and thinks people who do are pretty crazy. My mom is the least judgmental of the people in my family I look up to, but she still thinks I should wait. So I've been TTC since November and haven't told anyone on my side, and frankly, when I get the BFP I'm tempted to tell everyone it was an accident.. :shrugg:

(Hard to spin that one, since I'm a lesbian, but I'll still probably try LOL)

My OH on the other hand isn't shy about telling her family we're TTC. She has a brother who is 23 and a sister who is 22 and between them they have 3 kids, all 2 and under. We've gotten a lot of support from them.. my SIL even suggested using her husband as a donor. Her mom makes pointed comments about how she's "ready for another one" and just eyes me.

Just keep your chin up, only you know what's right for you and your family. Best of luck!

 

[Twister]

Thanks, even if people didn't like it we would still do it anyway and prove them all wrong whilst we're at it. It's just easier if we keep it shtum as I know what they would all think. Once we fall pregnant there's not a fat lot they can do anyway.

 

[unapologetik]

Exactly.. though I am nervous about what to tell my sister and aunt. I don't want to lie about how I conceived my baby, but I'm still worried about them judging us. It can't be a kind of whoops, surprise! thing for me. They'll want explanations on why we tried to conceive without telling them, etc.

I'm pushing all those worries for later, though. I'm just focusing on actually GETTING to the part where I can worry about that lol

 

[Twister]

They may be shocked at first like most parents with offspring who get pregnant fairly young, but i reckon once they get used to the idea of being grandparents then they'll come round to the idea and be supportive. If they don't then they will just be missing out. Same goes for your family as well I reckon.

 

[cj405]

i had my first pregnancy at 17 that ended in m/c and i dreaded telling my parents then again at 18 which wasn't planned but still ended in 23+4 m/c 4 months after i fell pregnant with my DS and had him at 20 my mum said she was too young to be a nan but soon came round to the idea as the father didn't stick around even tho we'd lost our first together but even 6 yrs later when i fell pregnant with my DD i was still scared to tell her but she was over the moon even more so when we had a daughter it doesn't get any easier the older you get and if i am now it will be just as hard cos we are like sisters

 

[Amethyste]

Hi, i told my mum as i live far from her and his sister as i am close to her. However i specifically told her not to tell her mum as she would get too excited and I can't bear the idea of any pressures. His sister got married 2 years ago and her mum always goes on about having babies. She was so fed up she actually had to tell her off. So his mum is a big no-no for me ;-)

 

[welshgem]

I know what you mean about just wanting a little bit of privacy. Thankfully my OH hasn't told anyone and doesn't plan to either but I have told my line manager as all the time I'm having to take off going back and forth to the hospital for tests as well as a minor 'breakdown' one day in work was just too much to handle. However I still get the "you're still so young" line from her (I'm 26 next month) which does annoy me at times.

 

[Amethyste]

I must add even thought we are together for 7years we are not gonna get married before 3 years and i want to start kids before. And oddly enough she never really mentioned babies to us, so it will be a great surprise for her !

 

[Amethyste]

However I still get the "you're still so young" line from her (I'm 26 next month) which does annoy me at times.[/QUOTE]

I am 26 too and i think it is a great age to start having kids !!

 

[Twister]

Gosh if people think you guys are young what are people going to think when I get pregnant? My main concern is what my parents will say when we tell them we are expecting, I have a feeling that they may be shocked at first and give me the whole "you're to young" routine but there are numerous people me and my family know with one even two LO's who are in worse positions than we are so hopefully that should give them some perspective. I'm sure they will be supportive no matter what, families are great like that.

 

[welshgem]

However I still get the "you're still so young" line from her (I'm 26 next month) which does annoy me at times.

I am 26 too and i think it is a great age to start having kids !![/QUOTE]

Well exactly - this is what I think too. The problem is, literally all of the girls in my work except for one or two who are younger than me are all engaged or married. I don't think anyone in my office has had a child before the age of 25, or certainly not whilst they've been working with me at least; it's almost like going back to the olden times where they see a child born out of wedlock as a sin!

 

[welshgem]

Gosh if people think you guys are young what are people going to think when I get pregnant? My main concern is what my parents will say when we tell them we are expecting, I have a feeling that they may be shocked at first and give me the whole "you're to young" routine but there are numerous people me and my family know with one even two LO's who are in worse positions than we are so hopefully that should give them some perspective. I'm sure they will be supportive no matter what, families are great like that.

I wouldn't worry too much about your parents. My youngest sister is 20 and she just got pregnant. My parents were fine and I thought they'd be really mad at her. I've even got my mum asking me when I'll be starting a family (she doesn't know we're trying). My OH's mum was similar when his sister got PG 2 years ago. She was 21 and at first my MIL was mad but came round to the idea and loves her grandchild more than anything. xx

 

[Twister]

Yeah like I said they will come round, being an only child doesn't help either they may think I'm growing up too fast. I'd imagine it would be very emotional news for them. They like my OH a lot though and we are very stable & live together so I don't see why they would hold a grudge. Afterall it will be their first grandchild and my nan's first great-grandchild, what's not to love about that?

 

[Amethyste]

However I still get the "you're still so young" line from her (I'm 26 next month) which does annoy me at times.

I am 26 too and i think it is a great age to start having kids !!

Well exactly - this is what I think too. The problem is, literally all of the girls in my work except for one or two who are younger than me are all engaged or married. I don't think anyone in my office has had a child before the age of 25, or certainly not whilst they've been working with me at least; it's almost like going back to the olden times where they see a child born out of wedlock as a sin! [/QUOTE]

Lol, the girl in your office should come in holidays in south devon, they wouldn't beleve it lol. Anyway i understand i get a bit annoyed with someone at work when i told a girl (she is 60) that we were gonna get married in 3 years but we want to a baby before. And she doesn't understand why we don't bring the wedding forward and that we could have something simple and that would be better for the child and blah blah bla... I must add my fiance is english and i am french so it is not that easy on the first place and that we have been together for 7 years and that we are getting married on our 10th years anniversary ! This led me to believe that is is ok for a couple that knew each other for 6 month get pregnant and then get married for the baby but it is not ok for a couple who have been together for years and are planning to get married some days to have a baby first ?? Sry i got a bit carried away but when I see how some people are sooo blinded with principles it drives me mad !! That needed to go ! lol feel much better now ;-)

 

[LittleLove]

My OH told his mom tonight that we're TTC. I wouldn't mind but he didn't ask me if I minded, and I was under the impression that we weren't going to tell anyone. He's a lot more open with his parents than I am with mine, and he said that he's just excited which is nice to hear.

I'm just worried that because I'm only 20 (OH is 24) that people are going to judge and think I'm too young. From what he said she was ok with it, but she suggested we 'see the world' a bit more first and that we've got our whole lives to start a family. I understand her point of view and that may be true but we've got our whole lives for a lot of things and we aren't interested in travelling, we just want to start a family! And have done for a very long time. If we want to travel we can when the kids are grown up and have moved out. People act like when you have kids you can't do anything ever again, they do grow up and move out eventually you know.

Sorry for the rant, just feeling a bit negative at the moment for a number of reasons.

I understand how you feel. I told my mom we are TTC and at first she was really understanding and supportive. Now she says "don't tell me until you have a positive test". People will always judge no matter what age you are. My OH and I are both 24 and my grandmother still thinks we are "too young". I don't want to be 40 and just trying for my first kid sorry people!