OH doesnt want college friends to know?

[Laura--x]

Since our first scan, i straight away uploaded the pics to my comp and put them on my myspace and facebook profile, oh never bothered so i put them on his myspace profile about 2 weeks ago.

He said to me yesterday ' how do u delete pics off myspace?' and i was like 'why?' and he said ' Because i don't want them on there, i don't want all people from college asking questions all the time about the baby'

Then he deleted them so no-one could see! I said Matt they are going to find out eventually and he said ' yeah i know i just don't want everyone asking me questions all the time'

I feel a bit hurt by this? I feel as if he doesn't want everyone to know?

Like he said to me yesterday, these lads from football had said sometihng to him, convo went like this.

OH Mates ' So your gonna be a dad ent ya'
OH ' yeah'
MATES ' you sound ashamed'
OH ' well yeah i am'

he stopped there and i said what?? ur ashamed?? and he changed it suddenly and went oh no no, i said im ashamed of how it happened, not the baby' ect ect. I was just like :S ?? I dont get it.

When hes with me hes really happy ( or so he says ) but all these things hes telling me about his friends is making me feel like he is ashamed?

 

[tasha41]

I can understand not wanting to deal with the questions, I don't want to deal with it either, so I don't have anything up on my facebook like pictures of my bump, from the ultrasounds, etc.

On the same note, I don't delete any posts about being pregnant on my wall, because I'm not trying to hide it.. I'm just keeping it semi-private? I just want to have a stress-free pregnancy (or lessen the stress as much as I can at least!) and I know that "putting it all out there" would definitely create a lot of unwanted attention (some negative) and drama that I just don't need right now.

Plus I don't know I don't want to share my pregnancy/child's life with my acquaintances/people I don't even like but just don't delete off my facebook because it'd be awkward basically??

And did not tell my friends from college either, as it was my first semester and didn't want to complicate any possible friendships, etc. if that makes sense.

 

[Mrs_Nesbit]

I know a guy and you wouldnt know it just from looking at his myspace that he's a totally loved up new daddy other than the fact it says *in a relationship*. Dont fret too much about it.

 

[dizzy65]

wow. if my OH said that id be hurt h

 

[mz_jackie86]

Hey girly,

I Know exactly what u mean my babies dad hasnt told any of his friends and one of 2 people that he did tell told him she knows what girls like me are like, all i want is his money and anything else i can get out of him! So i wanted to slap her, still do as i dnt want anything from him...
He wont tell his mates cos part of him thinks im lying bout it being his! At first it did hurt and i want him to be as happy as me about it and cheery but he isnt!
Now i dont care cos when baby arrives and he wants to parade it round to his friends and put his 2 pennies worth in i will remind him of it all!
Men are men and no matter how much we want ...we cant change em dammit!!! Lol!

 

[princess_vix]

Oh babe

Laurz me and you with our realtionships hey?

What is anyone going to do with us.

Well maybe he's still not got his head completely round the idea that he's going to be a daddy and this baby is going to need his attention,love,care and everything else 24-7.It also means he has a big responsibility to work.

Maybe he's a bit upset and feels that maybe he will lose his girlfriend,in a way, as you are so close now that he is maybe thinking the baby will get between you and maybe he is hurt and a bit upset by this idea?

I know Tom explained to me a few weeks back that he was very excited but a bit worried that i would not love him as much and that he was a little scared.

Now we talked about it we're fine.

Maybe try that hun?

xx

 

[sammie18]

Awww thats sad! Everyones going to find out sooner or later...And they are going to ask questions..so I dont see why he dont want the pics up.. Im sorry! *hugs*

 

[Lois]

I haven't put anything on my Facebook about being pregnant simply because my husband and baby are the most precious things in the world to me and I value our privacy hugely. There is something about pregnancy that makes people you barely know think they can ask very intimate questions and give unsolicited advice...and that would drive me mad. All of our good friends and family know we are expecting so I don't feel the need to declare it to everyone else who may be having a nose around on my Facebook page.

It sounds like your bf is not ashamed of the baby but rather nervous about being judged...if the two of you are a young couple he's probably aware of the stigma that this carries. Having said that, as a daddy-to-be he'll have to get over worrying about wht other people think and start putting you, he and the baby first.

I hope you manage to resolve things.
Lx

 

[asacia]

A lot of men don't really feel connected to the baby.

I know my OH is happy that we are having a baby, but he doesn't really feel like its 'real'. For us, we can actually feel the changes, feel the kicks. For blokes, a lot of the time there isn't any 'evidence' of the baby, so its hard to think about.

My OH hasn't posted any pictures on Facebook or told anyone about the baby. He'll answer if asked, but he doesn't talk about it.

I mentioned it to my Mum, and my Dad was the same (without facebook, didn't have that then!). He didn't talk about either me or my brother before we were born, but has been an amazing Dad.

Different people deal with things in different ways, and I wouldn't worry about him not wanting people to know.

Its also natural to feel mixed emotions. Maybe he is ashamed? I don't know the ins and outs of your situation or the conception, but just because he is a bit ashamed doesn't mean he is happy.

There were 'complications' with the conception of our baby, and while we are both incredibly happy about it, I'm still a little ashamed.