oh goodness what am i getting my self in for

[OmiOmen]

Camlet, Thank you for adding your story. You are very right all children have tantrums and some children have very good reasons for it. My 11 month old seems to have advance tantrums already and has already learned how to go limp so we can not pick him up (I am told this normally happens at 2-3 years). In fact I even see people getting mad that parents can not 'control' a crying baby, utterly stupid since all babies cry at some point and it makes parents feel bad when their babies are a few weeks/months old and it is all new to them.

I just want to add that when I said I hate seeing parents ignore their kids when that is why they are having tantrums I did not mean like that or even at the tantrum stage. I am referring to people I see a lot who seem ignore their kids wanting attention in the first place and wonder why their kids are unhappy. An example of this was a few days ago I saw a kid saying things like "Look Mummy, a purple truck." and so on but the parents just fully ignored her. I felt so bad for the kid and no wonder those kids have tantrums.

 

[Lisa2701]

Hi, sorry if this has already been pointed out but I don't have time to read the entire thread but I wanted to reply to the original post.

Obviously, some children just lack discipline and behave in such ways as a result. However, i'd like to put a spin on your thoughts...

My son has been known (on many occasions) to behave in such ways in shops, school etc. He will take off, kick, hit, bite, scream, throw anything he can get his hands on etc. He has autism! Autism is obviously a hidden disability that has no physical characteristics. He behaves in such ways because his senses are very different to ours, he can't filter out noise, so he hears people talking, flies buzzing, fridges buzzing, tills clicking etc all at the same volume.... which is deafening at times. Lights are brighter for him and often appear to flicker (which we don't see), smells are stronger so every bit of perfume, airfreshner and aftershave combined become over bearing, touch or being bumped into (even only lightly) can be painful for him, all this combined can cause sensory overload! Not surprisingly really. When he goes into sensory overload he has a "meltdown" where his body goes into fight or flight, he looses control of himself, he is completely none responsive to us. It is neither his or our fault he behaves in such ways. Thankfully both my husband and I cope very well, even is the situation of meltdown and we are past feeling embarrassed about his behaviour, he can't help it, the way we see it, it is not our problem, its other peoples problems if they don't like it.

Anways, just thought i'd put another spin on the "naughty child" we often see in shops.

 

[Camlet]

don't worry I didn't take it that way I just wanted to make people (anybody who reads this) abit more aware that they need to know the facts before they judge but I totaly understand what you mean about parents ignoring there children like you mentioned that's a totaly different story as the child clearly just wanted a bit of attention from it's mother poor thing it's not realy hard to reply to something that simple & obviosly it's the mothers own fault if the child then gets into a tantrum for being ignored lol xx

 

[Camlet]

Lisa2701 that almost exactly what I put just before your post my son has autism aswell!! I know exactly how you feel Dw I don't think the lady who wrote this ment it the way it seems (you know what it's like writing anything online it never comes out as intended) & I have put my post up to make people who do think that more aware aswell so hopefully both our storys will help others more aware before they judge xx

 

[pink_phoenix]

i dont n normaly think of children that ways and i defo know the feeling with helping my sister with all her kids it was just the way i felt on the day. My head was all over the place and it was just one of those days when the smallest thing sets you off!! at 23 i still throw tantrums lol and sulk wen i dont get my own way haha and im not ashamed to admit it, its only natural. i think when reading anything its hard to judge tone and how it was ment to be read. it most certainly sounded different in my head to how other people would read the 1st post. the biggest thing for me was how i suddenly felt! it could really have been anything that made me feel that way and has done in the last few days. with working in a hospital i see many upsetting things involving children and ive found myself gettin more involved and upset over the last week and one particualr incident made me feel the same sence of being lost and alone and wondering if in the possition of the parents would i cope as well as they had. also its made me realise wat a blessing all children are

i hope no1 was offended by my origional post and maybe my choice of words could have been better i admit that but as i said earlier the reason for the post was the feeling i got and not about the childs behaviour.

hope everyone has had a lovely weekend

love pink x x x x x

 

[OmiOmen]

Every kid will have a tantrum now and again if for no other reason than being tiered or wanting to play. I fully understand there is not a lot parents can do too and am sometimes at a loss myself. I do think there are times when parents are not doing enough though, I have had kids hitting me in the legs with stuff in he shops before and their parents did nothing to stop them or even say sorry. Also, big tantrums in places like restaurants getting ignored runes other peoples time when they may not get out a lot so it is not fair. My son has tantrums sometimes we are out for a pub lunch and if they are small and people look I see it as there problem but if it was a major one I would take him outside. Obviously it is a little different when you just need to buy the stuff at the shops rather than trying to have a day out. I do not know, maybe I am thinking too much about parents from a place close to where I live that do not seem to want their kids as much as the benefits that come with them but sometimes some parents really are not doing enough. But it seem there should be a difference noted that some kids misbehave because of parents who do not care otherwise, which unfortunately I see all too often. I do not think anyone here is judging people who have kids who may be doing that for other reasons or even a normally well behaved child who is having a tantrum and their parents are trying their best.

It all sort of reminds me of this though...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6XZ-0ns2yA

 

[Camlet]

Hehe I can defo say I still have tantrums haha & I don't know about the other posters but you defo haven't offended me at all & as I said above I knew you didn't mean it the way it came out lol everybody has there bad days so don't worry about it xx

 

[pink_phoenix]

good glad u got what i meant camlet, i defo have foot n mouth, i open my mouth to talk and stick my foot right in it some times hahaha can be entertaining on the odd occasion lmao

omiomen: that has got to be one of my favorite adverts ever haha x x x x

 

[Macwooly]

I have always tried hard (but will definitely try harder) to never to judge parents as I have no concept of what is involved and I certainly wouldn't now how to deal with a situation like a tantrum and it is because it is all unknown which terrifies me some days.

Thank you for your replies and explaining about how autistic children react to certain situations and to changes of routine. To be honest it's not something I would have thought about and I need to apologise for that

 

[Lisa2701]

Sorry for reiterating something that was already written. Like I said I hadn't the chance to read the whole forum.

Don't worry, I took absolutely no offence to it what so ever, and did not take it to be intended as offensive either, god knows 3 years ago before I discovered autism/adhd etc etc i would have said/thought exactly the same thing.

pink-pheonix: I am sure you will make a wonderful mother and your parenting skills will be just fine. We all have to learn along the way and sometimes we get it right and other times we could have made better choices but that is life. There is no getting away from the fact children like to push their luck with their parents, with autism or not, but a parents love triumphs over EVERYTHING they can throw at us. Good luck getting your BFP I hope you don't have too long to wait for it .

 

[pink_phoenix]

Sorry for reiterating something that was already written. Like I said I hadn't the chance to read the whole forum.

Don't worry, I took absolutely no offence to it what so ever, and did not take it to be intended as offensive either, god knows 3 years ago before I discovered autism/adhd etc etc i would have said/thought exactly the same thing.

pink-pheonix: I am sure you will make a wonderful mother and your parenting skills will be just fine. We all have to learn along the way and sometimes we get it right and other times we could have made better choices but that is life. There is no getting away from the fact children like to push their luck with their parents, with autism or not, but a parents love triumphs over EVERYTHING they can throw at us. Good luck getting your BFP I hope you don't have too long to wait for it .

so glad i havent offended any one x x
and thanks honey, getting really hard not to test now haha but not much longer to wait now x x x x x

 

[gardenofedens]

getting really hard not to test now haha but not much longer to wait now x x x x x

I caved and tested today but got a . My AF is due between 4/14 and 4/16 so it's still early but I was so hoping to see a . I'm planning to test again 4/12, 4/14, and 4/16 if AF still hasn't arrived by then.

My temps continue to rise so hopefully that's a good sign...

 

[pink_phoenix]

i think ive just got my only a very slight line!! couldnt see it in the light of the bathroom cos it was casting shaddows but defo looks like there is something there in my room where its just natural light x x x x x

to everyone who af got and baby dust to everyone still waiting to test x x x x x x x

 

[Macwooly]

Gardenofedens: sending loads of PMA and and hoping you get a BFP on 13 April

Fingers crossed for you Pink Phoenix and hoping it is a BFP and will show a more distinct line in the next day or so if you test again

 

[pink_phoenix]

thanks macwooly x x have posted pics in the testing gallery just to make sure my eyes arnt playing tricks on me haha x x x x

 

[Lisa2701]

I've just had a look at the picture in the pic gallery....CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

 

[pink_phoenix]

thankyou lisa2701 x x x x x

 

[OmiOmen]

That is a for sure! I knew I was pregnant about 3 weeks before my tests started coming up with a faint line and DH was 100% sure he could not see anything until about the positive 3rd test which was still so faint he was sure was a evap line. It was anouther 2 weeks before I got a positive like that! Congratulations.

 

[pink_phoenix]

thanks omiomen x x gettin a docs appointent 1st thing and its onwards and upwards from there x x x