OH mum wont see baby?

[DreamComeTrue]

sorry be warned a bit of a rant!

well basicllywe used to live in wolverhampton with my OH's family & his mum was great helping etc. but we decided to move down to london with my family (for space,jobs, housing etc) we have lived here for 7months & OH mum hasnt been to visit once, its only a 2hour drive!

i know for a fact that my OH is hurt that she wont come down & to top it off OH sister is expecting a baby girl in march, & OH mum said to him 'at least then i will have a grandchild i will actually see' i just cant believe she said that, she is welcome to come here whenever she wants, shes got money, shes got a car, she can drive..so whats the problem?? my parents even took us there & we stayed at their house for the day while my parents went somewhere else to give OH's family a bit of alone time with her, so why cant she come here?

me & OH just feel as though our daughter is being replaced just because they cant be bothered to come here for the day, she barely even rings to find out how she is.

i just dont know what to do i feel so angry with her & upset that now were here she has no intrest with her first grandchild

what would you do? should i text her or something & tell her that soon my OH prob wont let her back into our lives? & let her know how upset she has made us?

 

[_laura]

didnt want to r&r she seems to be really stubborn and wants you to do everything when she needs to understand that a relationship is 2 sided. also its easier for her to come down rather than you have to prepare to take you lo up.
shes just selfish, and maybe jealous that your parents get to see Lo more than what she does!

 

[aafscsweetie]

awww sorry personally, i wouldn't text her to say that OH won't be a part of her life soon. I think that's his place to tell her, not yours, you know what I mean? I think it would just cause more conflict. But you DO have every right to ask her why she can't drive? I would call her and ask why she is being so mean about OH's sisters baby being the only one she sees when she is perfectly capable of driving? that is so silly I am so sorry!

 

[DreamComeTrue]

thankyou for not r&r it just makes me so angry that shes being like this, if she loves her grandchild like she used to say she did then why wouldnt she make an effort?? & i would just hate it if my LO came up to me one day & ask why her other nanny doesnt come & visit

 

[aafscsweetie]

yeah, I bet It's her loss if she doesn't want to see her, but I know that saying that doesn't make you feel any better. I would just call her and explain that it's hurting you and OH's feelings that she doesn't come down. Just reassure her that she is welcome and that your daughter needs her grandma!

 

[DreamComeTrue]

awww sorry personally, i wouldn't text her to say that OH won't be a part of her life soon. I think that's his place to tell her, not yours, you know what I mean? I think it would just cause more conflict. But you DO have every right to ask her why she can't drive? I would call her and ask why she is being so mean about OH's sisters baby being the only one she sees when she is perfectly capable of driving? that is so silly I am so sorry!

thankyou, i do want to find out why she is being like this & i want my OH to ring her & say what he says to me, but hes not one to have an argument with his mum, hed rather just not talk to her at all til shes ready to.
which i dont think is right, if it was my mum i would tell her

 

[midwestbelle]

my mil is the exact same. she lives 20 minutes away and never comes over but always harasses us to go over there. i dont, i dont see the point and it would be a lot easier for her. it pisses them off, but tough shit. maybe it has something to do with grandmas house? like she wants to start the memories there early. i have no idea.

 

[lucy_x]

I shouldnt worry about it hun, In the long run your not missing anything and she can sit at hiome & be miserable about it.
Yes i would tell her how you feel
But why should you do all the running

 

[annawrigley]

Aw hun i know how you feel. My mum lives just down the road (literally 20 minute walk.. and she drives!) and she barely ever sees me or Noah... Never gets in touch or asks to see us... If i EVER ask her to babysit I'm expected to do a long list of things in return, so I just dont bother asking anymore. She's not actually a horrible person, when we do see her we get on fine, and she's good with Noah. I just don't get why she doesnt make the effort, I dont get why she doesnt care. Not just about Noah but me as well, I am still her daughter after all Sorry to have hijacked slightly but I do know how you feel, I guess its just mind boggling why they wouldnt want to make an effort to come see such a perfect little human being?! I cant WAIT to have grandkids (i know that sounds weird, but obviously i mean much later on ) and I cant get how anyone can be anything less than doting to their grandchildren! I'm not close with either of my sets of grandparents even though they live nearby so maybe thats where my mum got it from

Maybe MIL feels like she doesnt want to impose Sometimes thats the impression I get from my mum, like 'you chose this, you get on with it' type thing... Idk though. It baffles me! xx