OH not so excited about ttc

[lou belle]

DH and I have been together for 8.5 years, we have a 3yr old DD who was a total surprise. We're getting married next month. I have been thinking about baby no.2 since I delivered no.1! So we had always agreed to ttc as soon as we're married to give her a sibling as soon as we can. We are so much more ready now and I'm so looking forward to ttc and hopefully enjoying pregnancy instead of being stressed.

I know OH doesn't have baby fever and he probably be happy with one child but he does want DD to have a sibling soon. I just find recently he doesn't seem interested in the idea of ttc. We were babysitting his 2 nephews last weekend and he was holding the 2 month old baby. I just remarked that he was looking very comfortable with the baby and he said he "wouldn't be in any rush to go there again..."

He hasn't mentioned it since and neither have I. To be honest it will break my heart if he doesn't want to ttc. I feel like I don't want to ask about it before the wedding or it might spoil our day as I'll probably be holding back tears as the wedding day is our ttc date.

Does anyone else's partner get cold feet sometimes? I feel like the closer it's getting to our date, the more upset I'll be if it doesn't go ahead and I obviously don't want OH to feel forced into ttc if he's not ready but I'm just so emotionally invested in this...

Just wanted to vent really, I know there's no easy answer

 

[amotherslove]

im so sorry. i would be crushed. i think this is probably worth talking to him about and seeing where his hesitations lie. i think many men dont feel baby fever the way we do. for my OH it was about finances and how we would manage with childcare. we went from "maybe after we are married" (which is not for another 3-4 years honestly...) to "okay we can try in october." so... things CAN be talked about and changed.
i wish you luck!

 

[BunInTheBelly]

You know your OH best, but is one comment really cause to think he's down on the entire idea of baby #2? I love my son, I want him to have a sibling ASAP, and yet the thought of having a newborn frankly makes me shudder. Dealing with a helpless, fragile infant while barely sleeping for a few months was horrible, and now that I know what I'm getting myself into, I'd rather not. Like if I could just have a 6 month old baby delivered in the mail, I'd go for it. However, pregnancy, delivery, and squalling newborn are unavoidable for the parenting route we're going, so I have to suck it up and accept it.

Is there any chance he was just reflecting on the infant stage and recognizing that it would be "starting over" with another baby?