oh the things people say......

[Tonks]

Sometimes people can say really stupid things because they think it is helpful or they just don't know what to say. Thought I'd share some of my favorites (cue sarcasm). And wondered if others have gotten the comments as well.

1.) Well I guess it's just not meant to be.
2.) It will happen when you stop trying.
3.) When God wants you to have a child he will give you one.
4.) Oh you are so lucky its like free birth control with none of the side effects.
5.) You should be happy kids are so expensive and they ruin your body.
6.) Well maybe your just not ready to be a parent, I mean your dog isn't exactly well behaved he's hyper and jumps all the time, and children are much harder than dogs. (from my MIL)

 

[KahluaCupcake]

Grrr don't these things make you want to do a combination of screaming, hiding your head to cry, and punch something?

My "favorite" is when meeting someone with a small child, cooing over the baby or being playful with their LO, I'll say, "oh, she's SO sweet....I can't wait to have my own!" and they'll say, "oh no; you don't want kids!!" as though they're talking about some kind of terrible disease.
Yes, yes I do. I DO want children. Even just one spoiled, overindulged, occasionally misbehaving child. -shakes head- Who the heck are you to tell me what I want?

 

[itwillbe]

My good friend just lost twins at 17 or 18 weeks after trying for 9 years and people were telling her that it wasn't her time yet. She nearly put a fist through the wall.

People don't think before they speak.

 

[Indigo77]

Wow...your MIL sounds lovely...

 

[momma_of_2]

i know the feeling i hate when people say stuff like that my sil asked me
how are you going to support this baby
and you should get married before he is born

me and my fiance have been together for 5yrs yea we are not married but she had no right to say that

 

[Jess137]

People (who have kids) keep telling me "oh, don't have kids yet! You're so young, you have to enjoy life for a while!" Like once you have kids life suddenly sucks. I just don't get why everyone has to put their two cents in. It's my life, but thanks for all the help!

 

[Housewife83]

Sorry to hear about the comments you've been receiving. They are not very helpful things to say are they.

 

[sequeena]

A popular one when we were TTC was 'when you give up it will happen', that drove me mental.

Ironically that's exactly what happened.

 

[Ready2BMommie]

People (who have kids) keep telling me "oh, don't have kids yet! You're so young, you have to enjoy life for a while!" Like once you have kids life suddenly sucks. I just don't get why everyone has to put their two cents in. It's my life, but thanks for all the help!

Hi everyone. I definitely get this one the most. I am 23, 24 in Sept. My dh is 22. We have been married for 9 months, but together for 6 years. So obviously, all of this is the reason that we are TOO young and should be enjoying our "young" lives. Okay... who said that having a child would end our lives... seriously?? I get sooo annoyed when ppl tell me that! I just think that ppl try to apply what they were doing or how immature they were in their early twenties to our lives. I have decided that I am doing what I want and refuse to worry with what ppl think anymore.

 

[Jess137]

People (who have kids) keep telling me "oh, don't have kids yet! You're so young, you have to enjoy life for a while!" Like once you have kids life suddenly sucks. I just don't get why everyone has to put their two cents in. It's my life, but thanks for all the help!

Hi everyone. I definitely get this one the most. I am 23, 24 in Sept. My dh is 22. We have been married for 9 months, but together for 6 years. So obviously, all of this is the reason that we are TOO young and should be enjoying our "young" lives. Okay... who said that having a child would end our lives... seriously?? I get sooo annoyed when ppl tell me that! I just think that ppl try to apply what they were doing or how immature they were in their early twenties to our lives. I have decided that I am doing what I want and refuse to worry with what ppl think anymore.

Yeah we're almost in the same position. I'm 23 and DH is 22, we have been married for 6 months and together for almost 6 years. I doubt that the people making these comments were as settled at our ages. They probably didn't get married and settle down until their late 20s or 30s.

 

[twinmom]

I don't know what was worse, the complete strangers who throw comments your way or the close friends that make the 'it will happen when you stop trying' comments. Hubby and I tried for 1.5 years and experienced way too many of those comments. People mean well but are clueless.

Your mother-in-law sounds like a peach

 

[Tonks]

Yeah, most of the time, I make a joke out it with my husband (this is how we deal with many-a-things while ttc) but sometimes when it I hear it an its right after some really discouraging news or just when I've been in a real funk about the whole thing it really really hurts. There are some people that I have felt close enough to tell them that although I know they are only trying to help the comments are not really what I need at the moment, some have respected that. But others I mentally smack while I smile and nod, lol.

 

[bluemoonfairy]

People (who have kids) keep telling me "oh, don't have kids yet! You're so young, you have to enjoy life for a while!" Like once you have kids life suddenly sucks. I just don't get why everyone has to put their two cents in. It's my life, but thanks for all the help!

Hi everyone. I definitely get this one the most. I am 23, 24 in Sept. My dh is 22. We have been married for 9 months, but together for 6 years. So obviously, all of this is the reason that we are TOO young and should be enjoying our "young" lives. Okay... who said that having a child would end our lives... seriously?? I get sooo annoyed when ppl tell me that! I just think that ppl try to apply what they were doing or how immature they were in their early twenties to our lives. I have decided that I am doing what I want and refuse to worry with what ppl think anymore.

Yeah we're almost in the same position. I'm 23 and DH is 22, we have been married for 6 months and together for almost 6 years. I doubt that the people making these comments were as settled at our ages. They probably didn't get married and settle down until their late 20s or 30s.

The problem is that this is what we want and have chosen for our lives to be and as for most the people who say these things.. well its because they have never had to go through the ttc phase for them its either an accident(i dont belive i accidents) or just happened quickly, i choose to be a wife at 24 and i choose to be a (hopefully) mom, i dont want a high flying career and i work hrd to keep my family and home nice, i tottally agree with you that people don think befor they say but i do think they've probably never been in this situation! good luck ladies,
Rant over now!

 

[Damita]

I really hate when you give up it will happen, grr! Annoys me! My friend is always saying it to me I know she's not trying to be hurtful but I hate it with a passion!

 

[misslissa]

i know the feeling i hate when people say stuff like that my sil asked me
how are you going to support this baby
and you should get married before he is born

me and my fiance have been together for 5yrs yea we are not married but she had no right to say that

I'm angry for you!

 

[fieraentara]

Oh these are always great. Both me and my husband have heard the it'll happen when you stop trying. Also heard:

- You don't want kids they are worse than inlaws.
- God just doesn't want you to have children (thankfully i'm wiccan lol)
- Don't ever have children they aren't worth the 18 year headache.

but.. I do want kids... ugh people are so insensitive....

 

[Jaylina]

i know what you guys mean!!! My bff has a kid and is pg now. her dd always gives her a hard time; then she's having headaches.

i don't care about how hard it is to raise kids, even just ONE!!! that's the beauty behind being a parent!

 

[Cryssie11]

MILs truly are pieces of work! I think ours are related

 

[MrsGood2be]

And that is why my future mother in law doesn't know about us ttc lol! I'm 23 and my OH is 22 and we've been together for 3 and a half years and have been engaged for 3 of those years. We had a wedding planned and then cancled it and we aren't in a rush to get married because we feel like it was just to much stress and drama envolved due to family members and we don't want to deal with it (we are thinking about just eloping) but it pisses me off because both of his cousins got pregnant at 20 and then married then or shortly after and that's fine but because we can't "accidently" get pregnant that means we aren't ready?! BS! And the whole when you stop trying it will happen really pisses me off if we aren't having sex then no it's not going to happen because we tried that for 6 months and nothing! Ugh it's been a bad day!

 

[ShireLass]

I don't get why people with babies go on at you when you say you want one? (nooooo don't do it! Your life is over etc...) Does my head in lol