OH thinks me bfeeding 14 mo is wrong advice needed

[honey915]

Oh said to me a few days ago that he thinks its wrong that im still bfeeding our 14 mo son. I didnt really stand up for myself but he makes me feel like im doing something disgusting and perverted. I just told him tht me an ds still arent quite read yet to give up. He wants to go out more and thinks it restricts us. He knows noone who bf only ff babies except his sister who did 6 months which i guess he thinjs is the 'norm'. I never thought id feed this long but i love it and have comoromosed on co sleeping and after 3 nights of cc (ohs ide and hes taken charge of it which helps) lo is finally st (most of) tn (touch wood)! How can i be more assertive about this? Im just not an assertive person but really dont want ds to suffer as hes just not ready...

 

[Pielette]

It sounds to me like your ds has already made a lot of progress in terms of sleeping. I assume you've night weaned him and that he doesn't want feeds in the night anymore? If that's the case I don't see why you and OH can't go out in the evening. So I don't see why it's necessary for you to stop bfing.

That being said, I would be beyond mad if my DH told me to stop bfing and that he thinks it's disgusting. Not his boobs so not his choice. It would honestly make me unwilling to accommodate his wants.

 

[Flake-y]

Well, the average weaning age worldwide is 4, so 14 months is pretty young when you consider that! Also, the world health organisation recommend breastfeeding till age 2, although this is mainly aimed at developing countries, it's maybe worth mentioning to him!

And isn't it kinder to your baby to stop BFing when they choose, rather that when you choose? The longer you BF the greater the health & immunity benefits to your baby, and also you get the protection against certain cancers, osteoporosis etc.

There are plenty of reasons to continue, not many reasons to stop.

 

[Noo]

My OH assumes "EBF till 6 months" means stopping at 6 months. I didn't even realise this till I moaned about night feeds and he replied"Well another couple of months and he will be on formula" umm.

 

[bananaz]

Well, the average weaning age worldwide is 4, so 14 months is pretty young when you consider that! Also, the world health organisation recommend breastfeeding till age 2, although this is mainly aimed at developing countries, it's maybe worth mentioning to him!

And isn't it kinder to your baby to stop BFing when they choose, rather that when you choose? The longer you BF the greater the health & immunity benefits to your baby, and also you get the protection against certain cancers, osteoporosis etc.

There are plenty of reasons to continue, not many reasons to stop.

That "4 year average" statistic is a myth. There may be some cultures where that's the case but none of the ethnographic data supports that being the norm worldwide.

To the OP - I'm sorry your husband is making you feel that way, that's really unfair. If you and your son aren't ready to stop then you shouldn't have to. Why does he think BFing "restricts" you?

 

[Celesse]

Tell him tough shit. Your baby, your boobs, your choice.

 

[UniqueBeauty]

I breastfed my boy since last week, he's 19 months old. I knew it was time to stop and he was totally fine with it. I think it's great you're still BF x

 

[bumpbear]

I think you should explain to your DH that it's perfectly normal and that it would be cruel to deprive LO of something he loves (a source of his security) before he is ready. Hopefully he will see sense in why it would be unfair for LO to go cold turkey. Nobody likes to see their child cry unnecessarily and maybe he would be on board with that.

I was not ready to wean my daughter at 14 months and neither was she, but I did start putting gentle weaning tactics in place at that age because I knew I didnt want to continue beyond two years and also felt that abruptly stopping would not be fair on LO. Gentle weaning took 5 months and she decided she didnt want to nurse anymore shortly after she was 19 months old - no tears involved at all.

Perhaps discuss what your weaning plans are and try to come to some mutual agreement with your husband?

 

[Flake-y]

That "4 year average" statistic is a myth. There may be some cultures where that's the case but none of the ethnographic data supports that being the norm worldwide.

Sorry, I meant more that the natural weaning age is around 4, think the average is around 18mths-2, although in Britain it's nowhere near that