OHs affected by SA??

[zowiey]

Did doing a SA really affect anybody else's OH??

My Husband has almost been in a depression since he did his sample. we don't have results yet, but he has convinced himself that he is infertile, he is worrying about the amount he produced, and worst of all has zero sex drive. But then at the same time he is really desperate to be a daddy (he has never been overly enthusiastic about the whole baby thing, he wanted one, but maybe not as much as me!!)

Nothing I can say helps him, and he's keeping everything in, I've tried telling him that I don't care if it's him with the "problem" and that either way as a couple it isn't one of us with a problem it's something both of us will share. We have to wait another week before we get the results, but I'm so concerned about him, I really don't know how he's going to be if his results come back anything other than perfect.

 

[Dancingkaty1]

hi...my dh was also very concerned when he did his 1st sample last june....we were told all was fine when he phoned his gp. i then got diagnosed with polycysts on ovary so was referred to see a fs in aug.....i felt a failure as his results were good & i fet like i was stopping him from having a baby....we went & saw the fs....we were horrified to find out i was ovulating still so it wasnt me..she looked at the sperm result & explained that his results were very bad!!!were not progressing well at all & count was slightly low ( 17 million) ...he felt so awul.....couldnt talk to me all day..we left the hospital in silence.......he started taking vits straight away & started going to the gym b4 work & ate more healthier then repeated the sperm test in sept ( only 1 mth later) & the result was soo much better count had gone up to 21 million but the main thing was they were progressing well

he did another sperm test yesterday as we need up to date results for our iui consultation on 3rd march, & i know he is really nervous....

good luck & i bet the results u get will be fine & he will look back & wonder why he was worrying so much

xx

 

[zowiey]

Thanks, we have an appt booked for Monday now, they came back sooner than they said. So not much longer.

Hope your husbands result has improved even more, and good luck with the iui consultation. xx

 

[rachelle1975]

Hey Zowiey

When my DH did his first SA he was very low leading up to doing it and also after it - I got my results the day before his and mine were fine so we knew at that point it was most probably male factor issues.

Re the volume thing - our FS said that stress and embarassment at having to 'perform' often causes lack of volume as does a less intense orgasm (fewer apparently).

I just had to do a lot reassuring that it wasn't his fault - later on he said he felt that he felt he had failed as a man, especially as he knew what we would have to go through as a result. It took a while but he is feeling better - and taking Maca (herbal supplement) improved his libido BUT the whole ltttc has affected both our sex drives... maybe once we are preggers the pressure will be off?

Good luck

 

[fluffystar]

Hi All,

My OH did his sample today and took it to the hospital.

He seems unnervingly calm and when I asked him about how he was feeling he said fine because he was sure that his little swimmers would be ok. He was more worried about finding the results and how I would feel because then we would know it was more due to me!!

I wasnt sure how to take that!!! I think that maybe he is in denial that it could in fact be factors from either or both of us. He just assumes that since he hasnt had any illnesses that could affect him that he is fine. I do hope thats right but think he should be more realistic in case there is a male factor. Not sure how he would react if thats the case!!

Fluffy x

 

[susan_1981]

My husband was fine when he did his - I think he was expecting to be ok to be honest - but when he phoned up to get his results, the lady on reception said she couldn't really read the results but she could make out "Speak to wife re IVF". He was so upset when he found that out. He felt like a real failure, but like you said Zowie, it's not just his problem, it's our problem. And I said that I wouldn't expect him to be disappointed in me if I wasn't ovulating or there was a problem - and again like you, it's me more keen on having a baby than him, he wants children but if I didn't, he'd be fine with that.

But the thing is, sperm levels can be improved by a change of lifestyle and I'm sure it's Rachelle who said vitamins seem to have helped increase her OH's sperm count quite a lot. So even if there is a problem, it can be dealt with.

Hopefully it won't come to that though and you'll get your BFP soon xxx

 

[Sabine]

I suspected there may be an issue because of DH's op for an undescended testicle at age 6/7, but he was in total denial because they told his mom at the time it would not affect his fertility, and also because i was already diagnosed with PCOS and endo so it could have been all down to me.

When he found out, he was, and still is in complete denial. He is taking vitamins, changed lifestyle etc, and next SA is next week, and I pray pray pray they are better otherwise i think he will be devastated.
having said that, the hardest part of all is he wont let me discuss it with anyone so thank g-d for forums likes this with all you lovely ladies!

Regarding the amount - i dont think he should worry, average is 2ml and that doesn't look like very much! and also, dont take first one to heart due to nerves etc. our first one was 2.8mil and second one just a few weeks later was 18mil so you can see these things are not set in stone!
Anyway, I think everything you said to him is perfect! Our poor hubbies get more affected by this than we think - and for good reason..the average man doesn't need to know how many sperm they have, never mind morphology, motility and all that other scary stuff - its ridiculous!
Ok, let me finish this essay now!!
Good luck for the results - keep us posted.