OH's and Home births?

[KiwiMOM]

Hi all,

quick question to satisfy my curiosity:

What were/are your partners feelings/view about home birth before and if you've had your LO what are they now?

My OH was quite nervous about me giving birth in general, was worried about me dying and was a bit uncomfortable with me being away from the hospital but not enough to argue/disagree with me about it I had an awesome water birth; he was in the birth pool, cut the cord and was an amazing support the entire time. BUT he still told me later on he wants me to have pain relief next time because he had a really hard time seeing me in so much pain.. this would mean being in the hospital (not to mention totally NOT what I want).

My Mom and Dad on the other hand are totally different. My dad was completely against homebirth so my Mom had the first 3 of us in the hospital and totally hated her first L&D. She had my little sister at home though knowing she would be her last baby and told my dad "if you don't like it, don't be there." My dad's now totally into home birth and was really excited for mine.

I find men's view on labour and delivery are really interesting

 

[freckleonear]

My husband was not at all keen on the idea of a homebirth. Eventually I told him that as I was doing the work I got the deciding vote! Afterwards he turned into the biggest homebirth supporter ever, boasting about it to anyone who would listen! He says he felt really useful helping the midwives to carry their equipment into the house, and he loved being able to snuggle up in bed as a family afterwards.

 

[Creative]

With No 1 I Had him in hospital. I hadn't got a home that I was happy to have a HB so never considered it. hated the birth, was bossed around completely

No 2 OH not happy about HB so I succumbed and went to hospital last minute and out a couple of hours later. Still got bossed about and told do this do that....

NO 3 Oh said OK (still not happy or confident). Best experience ever. Loved being in charge, respected and telling the MW what I wanted. OH loved it too.

NO4 no question that it would have been a HB. Sadly had a MC.

Currently working on no 5 (but it'll be a HB)

 

[aliss]

Mine was terrified.

I managed to change his mind with a pro-home birth midwife and the Business of Being Born. We also live much closer to the hospital than the birthing centre so he is happy with that.

 

[NaturalMomma]

My DH is pro-homebirth for low risk women. He was very involved in the planning of ds2's homebirth, he liked the homebirth we had, and we both are currently planning another homebirth for a hopefully very soon future baby.

 

[madasa]

First time around, I never really asked him what he thought. I planned a hosp birth bc, well, tht's where you have babies... EVERYONE has their baby in hosp. Doing it at home is just... weird, right?! And as for what he thought or felt, well, I was just very pragmatic about the whole thing. Kid's gotta come out somehow, regardless of how he or I felt about it....! In the end, it was quite traumatic for both of us.

Second time round, I told him early on that I wanted to try a HB and he was all for it. It was so crap last time, let's try a totally different angle this time, kind of thing. I had some problems during the 3rd stage and had to transfer, but if I have any more I think he'd be totally up for doing it at home again. He was much more relaxed and confident at home. In the early stages he could chill out and watch TV - whereas in hosp he'd have been bored and anxious. Later on he had jobs to do - filling the pool, keeping it clean and the right temp, fetching me a sick bucket, getting me drinks, holding my hand... In hosp, he'd have not known what to do, where to put himself or where anything was. The MWs were respectful and deferential to both of us; in hospital the MWs ran the show while he stood on the sidelines feeling "like a spare tool". And then of course, afterwards.... who wants to go home after going through that together?? Who wants to go home and leave their loved ones in hospital?!

I think if fear of birth wasn't drilled into all of us early in life, more men would be completely up for home birth. Can't take a PS3 into hospy, after all.

 

[tinytabby]

I just said to my OH that I'd like to have a home birth (this is my first) and he said whatever I want is what we'll do. He's very supportive.

 

[xarlenex]

My DS was a hospital birth, I was living with my parents then. This time around we're going for a homebirth and OH couldnt be more supportive. Hes looking forward to playing a more active role in the whole thing x

 

[bubbles]

My first was a planned hospital birth, not a great experience. My second we planned a HB, DH wasn't keen on the idea and worried about things going wrong but after getting him to do his own research (a couple of site recommended by me) he was really sold on the idea. Unfortunately the way things panned out we enced up in hospital and both felt robbed. This time there is no question it will be a homebirth

 

[MindUtopia]

We are TTC our first at the moment, and my husband is completely supportive of my plans for a HB. I pretty much told him while we were still just dating that if we got married and had children one day, I'd be having them at home. At first, he was a little freaked out and thought it seemed like a weird crunchy hippie thing to do (we are kinda weird crunchy hippies to an extent though lol) But he's had a few years to get used to the idea and he knows my friends who have had HBs and I've made him watch the Business of Being Born and OBEM enough times, that he's completely supportive. He even shouts at OBEM with me now! I think he likes the idea that he can be more hand-on at home and have more tasks to do because that will help him to feel less nervous. And really, he just trusts that I know what's best and so far this is what I believe is the best thing for us.

 

[mrsp14]

My first was a planned hospital birth, not a great experience. My second we planned a HB, DH wasn't keen on the idea and worried about things going wrong but after getting him to do his own research (a couple of site recommended by me) he was really sold on the idea. Unfortunately the way things panned out we enced up in hospital and both felt robbed. This time there is no question it will be a homebirth

Can I ask which websites you referred him too? I'm still in the process of trying to persuade OH as he's such a worrier. We did have a dramatic end to dd birth as the cord snapped and sprayed blood everywhere but dd was fine and there was nothing done there that couldn't be done in our home!