Ok, I need to rant.

[griffinh]

****** THIS POST IS MY OWN PERSONAL OPINION AND RANT AND NOT A RANT AT WOMEN WHO BREASTFEED, BUT THOSE WHO FEEL THE NEED TO BERATE MY CHOICE***********

First off, I think all mothers who choose to BF are troopers. Absolutely in awe of their bravery in making that choice and sticking with it. I only formula feed. I always said I would and I did. My midwives were brilliant about my choice, and YES my choice is for selfish reasons. Here they are:

- I wanted to share the workload. I know I could have expressed but that still requires all the effort of BF with added sterilisation etc.
- I didn't want to be the only one responsible for feeding my daughter, I wanted my OH involved with cleaning bottles and making them and doing night feeds
- I didn't WANT sore cracked bleeding nipples, no matter how long for.
- I didn't WANT to be a 24/7 milk bar.
- I was a formula fed baby, my oh was breast fed. Guess who is the sickly person?

Anyway, those are my reasons and I am so happy with my choice. I've been teetering on the edge of depression and having my oh take the slack for me 100% has been so lifesaving. I do not regret my choice

Can someone then tell me why perfect fucking strangers who do not know me or even ASK me WHY I chose to BF decide to TUT at me in public when I feed my daughter? I'm sorry, but am I apparently less of a mother for choosing to bottle feed and not whip out my boob?

I am NOT less of a mother. Every choice is personal to the woman who makes it. I don't choose breastfeeding but I also don't berate mothers who do or other formula feeding mums. I know women who feel guilt because they can't bf ever and want to and I empathise, but I'm not about to start shoving my belief down anyones throat

I wish people would stop doing it to me.

 

[vintagecat]

I don't think anybody should have to justify how they feed their baby. Period.

I actually hate when people learn that I breastfeed and then go on to explain why they couldn't. They're immediately assuming that I care how they're feeding their child. It's none of my business and just makes me uncomfortable!

 

[griffinh]

Precisely. Can't people just enjoy their choice and let others get on with it without enforcing views or giving unwanted opinions?? I think you're brilliant for BF, well done, honestly I couldnt do it (well, I didnt try but thats not the point ) but I LIKE my choice

ARHG

 

[Jaylynne]

I don't think you're a bad mom or less of a mom. I pump and use bottle so I've gotten the "looks" too from others seeing me give him a bottle. Who cares?! Your LO is being held and fed.

 

[griffinh]

Wow you're basically doing both bottle and boob! I admire that!

Exactly - she's full and happy and guzzles on the bottle like nobodies business. x

 

[MrsButterfly]

Totally with you Griff. I had to switch to formula at 4 weeks and have never felt so guilty - didn't expect family to make me feel that way as well as strangers. I do not understand why any person would think its any of their business how I feed my child. Totally judgmental and uncalled for. We all know how much we love and care for our babies though so need to ignore these rude people! Easier said than done tho...

 

[skunkpixie]

I think Im probably in the minority where I havnt experienced any feeding judgements when I was BF my first or FF my second. Maybe people knew that I wouldnt just take it lying down if they did feel like commenting! But I do know that its very common no matter if you BF or FF.
My friend was saying the other day how when his GF gave birth to thier son and chose to FF after a very traumatic birth, alot of our mutual friends really looked down on her and shunned hanging out with her for ages. I was very shocked as I wouldnt have thought them to be judgemental people at all, but seems like people have very srtong views on the whole baby feeding issue. I dont understand why! xxx

 

[Mabythistime]

I also found that whenever I give LO a bottle, I quickly am asked about the feed. I stopped explaining...when I get asked that dreaded question: How is he fed? - I reply with one word...MILK...and then the conversation normally goes in a different direction.

I breastfeed from 6pm to 5 am, I pump at work, and LO is topped up with formula for the amount I am short when I pump during the day. So I find no matter what people try and say in dicusssion to me, I get knocked for something.

OP, I get you. It serves no purpose for anyone to TUT and make you think they think you are less of a mother. Keep your boobs in your shirt, and continue to do what is best for you which ultimately WILL be best for baby. Only makes you feel bad for NO REASON. You know the truth. Ignore the ignorance.

 

[Mummythree]

I have three Lo's i breastfed dd1 for a day wasnt planning on doing it but i tried.
Breastfed dd2 for 14months but it was bloody hard, and ds i managed 5days before i had no choice but to stop. once my milk came in i struggled for a few days and my son could not latch on at all so therefore couldnt feed so i tried so hard but had no choice but to bottlefeed.

but im glad to do bottlefeed, my son is happy, healthy, sleeps well and im happy.
sometimes i feel robbed that i had no choice but i know it was for the best of both of us.

I Breastfed dd2 for a long time and its not as wonderfull and easy as people make out.

i dont know why anyone feels the right to interfere in how or why other people feed their child bottles or breast. its their baby, there choice and their busness.

for all they know you could have been like me and had to stop breastfeeding so its very insensitive. but i dont think your reasons are selfish at all.

people that say your less of a mother or tut are twats, being a mother goes way beyond feeding your baby.

who said this is public? what did they say?

 

[lilbecksxx]

I totally agree with OP - I chose to formula feed for the same reasons & I couldnt be happier. My LO is thriving, I can share the workload with my OH, so we both get equal sleep.

People always ask me why I'm not breastfeeding - depending on my mood, I either say that its none of their business or just simply because I wanted to!

 

[Bunnikins]

Just ignore them, its their problem not yours! You cant do right for doing wrong. I was breastfeeding in public the other day and got dirty looks (i was fully covered).. so whatever you choose theres always some saddo who has an opinion on it. Who cares? (By the way its the same with me, i was FF and hubby was BF.. he is ALWAYS at the docs with one thing an another, and i never get ill.. dunno if its anything to do with feeding, but still true!)

 

[NellyLou]

I don't understand why people think they can have an opinion about how someone else feeds their baby. As long as the baby is fed, happy and healthy, then the parents are doing their job. Love the pp's answer of "milk" when asked how they feed their baby

 

[.rollinn.]

I agree with you,i can't bf but even if i could i wouldn't for selfish reason's. I really don't want a teething baby ripping my nipple off,i'll pass!

 

[Balloo]

I am wanting to ff straight away and am so very worried about people's opinions. I am normally the kind of person that will just tell someone to do one if they start having a go at me but feeding ur baby is such a sensitive issue I'm worried about how I'll feel if people start questioning my choice. I just wish people would keep their noses out of our bloody pregnancies!! Xx

 

[NellyLou]

I am wanting to ff straight away and am so very worried about people's opinions. I am normally the kind of person that will just tell someone to do one if they start having a go at me but feeding ur baby is such a sensitive issue I'm worried about how I'll feel if people start questioning my choice. I just wish people would keep their noses out of our bloody pregnancies!! Xx

Just remember that it is YOUR choice. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty, being a Mom is already hard enough without random people making you feel bad for your decisions. Xx

 

[Lady_Bee]

The nerve of some people...

I have never been questioned myself or experienced negative comments for feeding my baby in public with a bottle (mind you I've only ever fed him in public about 4 times! If we're out somewhere I usually feed him in the car) but I feel for the women who have to deal with this! It's just rude and judgemental and soooo unhelpful.

I think it's quite sad that some people are that lacking in tact and basic manners.