OMG who DOES this???

[channy3232]

My MIL is weird. I've always known that. But this really bothers me. My FIL passed away in January and I know she's been taking it hard. She needs a new TV but wont spend the money to get one (but she will let in a door to door salesman and buy a whole house full of windows that she doesn't need, but thats a whole other story) So my husband and SIl went out and got her a $300 TV. She just emailed my husband and SIL TELLING them what she wants for christmas!!! A grown woman told her kids what she wants, without being asked!!! She said some gift cards from a local restaurant and supermarket would be nice. Who does that???? Since I moved out from my parents house, and especially since we had Rocco, my parents have insisted we get them nothing and use our money for HIM. We do get them something anyway. And we always get my MIL something too, but I guess its just that she assumed we would be getting her something! I don't know. I guess its just weird to me. We havent discussed anything about gifts with her. I told my husband to take the damn $300 TV back and get her what she asked for! Lol

 

[Armywife84]

Well the store and restaurant vouchers will be cheaper . And if she'd much rather have them over the TV...

 

[channy3232]

Well the store and restaurant vouchers will be cheaper . And if she'd much rather have them over the TV...

That's what I told him! Lol but he thinks the store where he got the tv charges a restocking fee of like 15% :/ I don't know. I just found the whole thing weird.

 

[purple_kiwi]

My sister turned around and told everyone she only wanted gift cards.. she wont be getting that from me lol Im unsure what im getting her yet but probably something completely different

 

[Marima]

I actually can't figure out what's your problem about. She didn't want the TV enough to buy it. It was your decision to get her one. Now she really wants something and tells you that you wouldn't buy her things she don't want and you overreact. Maybe I'm too blonde to figure it out but gift cards aren't that bad or expensive.
It's a deal with your parents that they don't want gifts. She hasn't insisted that.

 

[tallybee]

It is rather odd to suddenly decide you're telling people what you want for Christmas, beyond childhood that is! But yea gift cards are not a bad thing anyway, you can get how ever much worth you can afford.

I suppose she just wasn't all that bothered about the TV...

 

[Hayley90]

i still tell people what i want for christmas - im like rachel from friends. STICK TO THE LIST!

better to get something she wants and sees value in, than a random purchase.

tbh, the TV situation is unrelated - you chose to go and get it when she hadnt asked to, she didnt exactly demand you get that too.

 

[brandonsgirl]

I might be wrong here, but is it possible that she doesnt want the new tv because the old tv she has no reminds her of her late husband and times they spent together.

My nan just passed away and I know my grandad wouldnt want to change much in the house for a whilr because its just to hard to move on without her

 

[NuKe]

that's so cheeky!!

 

[channy3232]

Ok forget I mentioned the TV. take it out of the equation, like tallybee said, its just odd to me that a 65 year old woman is giving us a list without being asked. Everyone else I know that have gotten to that age and have kids and grandkids are not concerned with getting gifts. They focus on their grandkids because they don't need anything. And like I said, I guess because I'm used to my parents insisting no one get them anything that its so weird she TOLD us what she wanted. She might as well have written out a letter to santa!!

 

[MrsBandEgglet]

I think grief can cause people to act erratically and it seems to me that's what she's doing. It may be worth just humouring her for a while and after all gift vouchers are a great gift all round. I don't think you have a "problem" as a PP described it and I don't think you're overreacting really. In a way it is cheeky; most people when they get past a certain age don't bother with gifts for themselves. I say to people, if you want to you can buy the kids but don't buy OH and I.

 

[Mummy2B21]

Did you buy for her the year before? Maybe she thought you would probably buy her something so she'd say what she wouldnt mind being given.

My mum is cheeky has already said to me what perfume I can get her but my mum doesn't have much no money of her own so I don't mind treating her to a gift she wants.

 

[channy3232]

I think grief can cause people to act erratically and it seems to me that's what she's doing. It may be worth just humouring her for a while and after all gift vouchers are a great gift all round. I don't think you have a "problem" as a PP described it and I don't think you're overreacting really. In a way it is cheeky; most people when they get past a certain age don't bother with gifts for themselves. I say to people, if you want to you can buy the kids but don't buy OH and I.

Well she's always been an oddball. Lol Like if we all go out to dinner, she never has a problem with us paying, where as my FIL would at least offer to give us money. And she doesnt say thank you for things. She's very cheap, but isn't poor so doesn't really have a reason to iykwim?
Ill give you another example. We got a new dishwasher a few years ago. My FIL came over to help OH install it. They worked on it longer than expected and my MIL said she was hungry. I went into the kitchen and asked if OH and FIL were hungry also because I would go get takeout. I went into the bathroom and when I came out MIL was gone. My OH said she went to get takeout. She came back with a sandwich for her and one for FIL and nothing for us!!! She sat in our kitchen and ate her food. Of course we would have paid for something for us, but she didn't ask if she could pick something up for us!!! Same thing if we go to visit her, and we pick up Chinese on the way, we will all eat and if there is any leftover, obviously it goes in the fridge. One time we were leaving and I said "oh i almost forgot my leftover chinese!" She said "oh youre taking it?" Wtf?!?! We paid for it!! It's MY food!! So yeah, shes weird anyway.

 

[MrsBandEgglet]

I think grief can cause people to act erratically and it seems to me that's what she's doing. It may be worth just humouring her for a while and after all gift vouchers are a great gift all round. I don't think you have a "problem" as a PP described it and I don't think you're overreacting really. In a way it is cheeky; most people when they get past a certain age don't bother with gifts for themselves. I say to people, if you want to you can buy the kids but don't buy OH and I.

Well she's always been an oddball. Lol Like if we all go out to dinner, she never has a problem with us paying, where as my FIL would at least offer to give us money. And she doesnt say thank you for things. She's very cheap, but isn't poor so doesn't really have a reason to iykwim?
Ill give you another example. We got a new dishwasher a few years ago. My FIL came over to help OH install it. They worked on it longer than expected and my MIL said she was hungry. I went into the kitchen and asked if OH and FIL were hungry also because I would go get takeout. I went into the bathroom and when I came out MIL was gone. My OH said she went to get takeout. She came back with a sandwich for her and one for FIL and nothing for us!!! She sat in our kitchen and ate her food. Of course we would have paid for something for us, but she didn't ask if she could pick something up for us!!! Same thing if we go to visit her, and we pick up Chinese on the way, we will all eat and if there is any leftover, obviously it goes in the fridge. One time we were leaving and I said "oh i almost forgot my leftover chinese!" She said "oh youre taking it?" Wtf?!?! We paid for it!! It's MY food!! So yeah, shes weird anyway.

Hmm, gosh she is quite strange I know somebody who is unbelievably cheap like that and would most probably quite happily eat the neighbours out of house and home given half the chance just to save a bit of money and not eat her own food. Thrifty is not the word!!!

 

[Armywife84]

Strange indeed! Most in-laws tell you not to purchase anything for them, because they already have everything or know your Christmas is on a tight budget. We usually buy something small for our parents anyways. Last year, we did go in on a new flat screen television with the rest of my DH's siblings.

As far as meals go, they usually invite us so they've footed the bill. In return, we've paid for takeout. It's not even, but they know we're on 1 income at the moment.

I find her behavior beyond penny pinching!

 

[Wirral_Kitty]

That doesnt sound too bad to me either. I like and ask people to tell me what they want..saves them getting a load of crap instead. I know this sounds bad but the world doesn't revolve around kids, she's going through a lot herself and that should be respected. You'll all have a great Christmas. Get her what she wants, its her first christmas as a widow! x

 

[Wirral_Kitty]

p.s I HATE HATE HATE my MIL lol x

 

[jenny82]

My mum always tells us what she wants. Its just easier that way! Any year I broke away and tried to et her something else, it always went spectacularly wrong :/