on hour 3 of tonight's feeding

[sojourn]

I have been feeding my 10 day old son since 8:45. It's now 11:30 and I just want to cry and go to sleep.
I sent my husband to bed almost two hours ago (he is beat) and I really have to pee.
Lately, we've all been sleeping on the couch. I can't sit up very easily in bed (I had a slight tear during labor and have a couple of stitches) and he won't nurse lying down. I can sit up on the couch and then slide down to sleep. My husband mostly stays with us.
Tonight however, I sent my husband to bed. His back was hurting really bad and he doesn't go back to sleep well once we've gotten up. I am kind of sad though now. If I were sleeping I wouldn't care. Unfortunately, that is just not in the cards tonight since my baby won't stop eating. Instead, I'm just crying in the living room alone, in the dark.

 

[sheldonsmommy]

Aw hun I'm sorry

But things will get better! It will drag on now, but you're building up a good supply and baby is getting what he needs.

Hope you feel better soon

 

[staralfur]

Oh the wonderful days of clusterfeeding.

I would keep trying to encourage him to nurse laying down in your bed as sleeping on the couch is not ideal (and generally not safe). I hate saying that because I know that when you're desperate for sleep you just want to do whatever gets you sleep.

Is it a latch issue when you're laying down? It took us a while to get it right. Or does he just seem uncomfortable in that position?

 

[J22]

aww it makes me sad to read this because I've been there and I too couldn't see any light at the end of the tunnel. People would tell me it gets better and I just couldn't see it at the time, but it really does get better hun. It's tough going at the start and you begin to doubt your decision to bf at times and want to give up some days but if you can get through the early days it gets so much easier. I've been going 6 months now and so glad I managed to drag myself through the beginning. I had a large cut during labour and couldn't sit up, I had to sit on one butt cheek and it was so uncomfortable feeding. What I did was put a pillow on a chair (like a sofa chair) and left a gap at the back so I could sit straight up on the chair but my butt wasn't touching the seat (know what I mean?). The pillow being positioned at the front of the seat would help to raise me from touching where I had the cut. Hugs xxx

 

[CupcakeBaby]

The early days are soooo hard. Xxxx

Do you have netflix? If not get it. Get into a good TV show. Distraction is key.

In a few weeks this will all be a bad memory and you'll be SO glad you stuck it out.

I sat and cried and cried with the cluster feeds in those early days. Now I have to battle to get DD to stay latched for more than a minute as she's so busy wanting to chase the cat/cause havoc.

It changes so quick, I know it doesn't feel that way. But you can do it Mama. Xxxx

 

[sojourn]

My nipples are flat and he can't latch without the shields. The shield won't stay on when we are lying down. He also gags and spouters and it worries me. I sit up and he lays on the my best friend pillow. I feel more comfortable with that if we both fall asleep. Dinner it is flat and stiff. Otherwise, we have a giant, oversized ottoman and I can put it next to the couch and put his snuggle nest in that.

I hear it gets better. I just underestimated how emotionally taxing it would to be so alone. I feel completely drained, isolated and just overwhelmed. It doesn't matter how much Netflix I watch, how much ice cream my husband brings me or how much Kindle I read... I am still physically restricted to the couch with another human being attached to me basically 24 hours a day. Every time he starts to root again I just start to cry.

 

[CupcakeBaby]

Yes. It's truly awful. It shocked me just how miserable I was and how much I wished I didn't have a baby!!!

Now she's the light of my life and a pleasure. And I sort of kiss those early days (rose tinted glasses, I know)

Can you get out anywhere in the day? Save your sanity a bit?

 

[Marythefairy]

Bf is so hard to start with. I've just hit dd2 first growth spurt at 2 week's and even though I know I got thru it with dd1 it is horrid. Last night she fed for 45 mins of every hour between 11 and 7. Then dd1 woke at 0745. You are doing a great job and it will get easier and probably quite soon too. I spent mist of yesterday on the verge of tears with several crying episodes because I felt so tired drained and hormonal. Take care and good luck x

 

[sheldonsmommy]

Yes. It's truly awful. It shocked me just how miserable I was and how much I wished I didn't have a baby!!!

Now she's the light of my life and a pleasure. And I sort of kiss those early days (rose tinted glasses, I know)

Can you get out anywhere in the day? Save your sanity a bit?

Ah those rose tinted glasses... aren't they wonderful for birth, cluster feeding, trying to conceive, toddler tantrums... without those glasses I don't know if anyone would have more than one baby!