On pins...........

[hancake100]

Hello girls,
Well as some of you know me and oh split last monday as he said he no longer want ANYTHING to do with me and I have pretty much been in bits since He told me that he wants to go through the CSA and wants to go through a solicitor about visiting etc........ and that he is willing not to see Ellie in all the time it will take to sort out which he understood would take weeks. How he can do that I dont know.

Anyway he has been texting me and messing with my head and I just dont have a clue where I am with him and to be honest I just wish the whole thing would blow over and I didnt have to go through this but hey I am.

I have been being stong for my little girl and just having crys to my friends and family at nights etc.....

Anyway he text me yesterday asking could he come round (lastnight) and I text him back saying no as I had a friend coming round and was busy then nothing was said about it. He then text me this morning TELLING ME that he would be coming round after football, So I text him back say that I didnt want to see him and by the time he finishes football Ellie would be in bed so there was really no point coming round at all. (he knows she goes to bed early and what time, so coming round after football really is no good) he then left it and started asking for me to send a pic of Ellie to him and he kept texing me and asking questions.
I then text him to say that his mum was coming round on Thursday and could he please give her my key to give me back and that I would give her all his things he had here. He text me back and said 'I think I am coming round tonight anyway' I was like WAAAAAAAT????? So he just ignored me in the last message, so I text again saying look Ellie will be in bed so you wont get to see her and I dont want you in my house, he they tried to make me feel bad and that he REALLY wanted to see her. I then got a text much later on say 'I think I might come round anyway as I want to see Ellie crawl' (she only started crawling on Thursday )
So AGAIN he has ignored me I just text him saying please dont make this any harder than it is and explained again that when he gets here that Ellie would be in bed and that I do not want to see him' He has not text back................. SO, I am now sat here on pins, looking out of the window and really worried that he is just going to turn up anyway

I really dont know what I would do if he just turned up, I have not seem him since we split last monday and as far as good goes I have been getting a little better day by day and if he comes I am going to be in bits and back to square one

Sorry for that long rant, just dont know what to say to him anymore or do. I love him so much its untrue and I am hurting a great deal!!!!!

 

[LittleMadam]

Hugs. Some men (and, yes, women) do like to play mind games. Just stick to your guns and don't let him in if Ellie is sleeping. You may want to consider changing your locks as I doubt you will get your key back.

xxx

 

[xJG30]

If he comes round, don't answer the door hon. This may give him a hint that he can't just turn up whenever.

 

[billy2mm]

bolt the door and dont let him in.

you have told him more than once that you dont want him there and he has to respect that. yes he wants to see his daughter but he needs to come round when she is awake and not asleep and he knows that!! sounds to me like he wants to see you tbh.

 

[Babydance]

oh hunny, are you ok? Did he turn up? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[hancake100]

oh hunny, are you ok? Did he turn up? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I feel better now as it is pretty late and I dont think he would dare turn up now anyway so I am off those pins.
He hasnt been intouch since either so he must have got the hint, he cant just what he wants when he wants, he is such a selfish stubborn person and one of them that everything has to go his way.
I am hurting enough as it is having to go through this but with him throwing his weight around ontop I cant handle it
I wish it was easy to let go and to fall out of love him him but it isnt and I still love him so much and him turning up would have sent me off the edge. It is killing me not seeing him and I would love for him to come round and tell me that he has been stupid and take me in his arms and tell me everything will be ok for the rest of our lives but, he isnt going to do that and I have to let this go as sad as it is
Why is life so hard, I just want to be happy and have someone love and care for me like I do with him.

 

[mommy2baby2]

Wow you are much stronger than I would have been! Total props to you for turning him down when he was trying to worm his way back in! He probably just wanted a bootycall anyways, since he was wanting to come over so late. What a jerk!

Anyway, stay strong, just like you have been and don't let him manipulate you! I'm so proud of you for turning him down because I think most would have jumped all over the opportunity to say yes to their ex's...And who knows, you might have said yes, gotten your hopes up only for him to not show up, causing even more hurt & disappointment.

 

[Surreal]

If he shows up without your consent, one word: police. Even just telling him that might deter him from being ballsy and just showing up. Stand your ground, dear, and don't let him yo-yo your emotions like he obviously wants to do.

You aren't the first to endure this pain, nor the last, so don't think your alone in this endeavor. I had to force myself to ignore my soon-to-be ex-husband, as he texted me randomly, and had his /therapist/ calling me, asking if I was willing to repair things. Eventually he gave up... and I'll be honest, some nights I struggle... but now I'm to the point where most nights, I'm okay. And, surprisingly, I am happy to be alone ,for the first time in my life... I'm finding myself through me, and it's a good experience. Give yourself time -- cry if you need to. You'll find your way to healing again, and be the better person for letting go of such a detrimental relationship.

 

[Pyrrhic]

IMO he doesn't want to see Ellie, he just wants to see you and saying he wants to see her is just an excuse as she is something that ties you both together. He know that if he said he wanted to see you, then you would flat out say no so he says he wants to see Ellie.

You are being so strong hun, well done It's so hard to stick to your guns when they start playing mind games like this.

 

[fairydreams]

bolt the door and dont let him in.

you have told him more than once that you dont want him there and he has to respect that. yes he wants to see his daughter but he needs to come round when she is awake and not asleep and he knows that!! sounds to me like he wants to see you tbh.

was going to say the same thing tbh it sounds like he is trying to talk you round, im going through a similar thing atm just be strong hunni, we have too for the kids

fairydreams