on the verge of giving up!!

[Pink_Witch]

having problems with getting Ernie to BF, he slips off,doesnt latch on properly,falls asleep,toe curlingly sore nipples etc etc,but i really want to bf him so my hv yesterday arranged for a bfing hv to visit me this morning,to discuss things with me as Ernie has a tongue tie!

she gave me loads of advice on positioning and helping to get him latched on, and offered to refer him to a specialist to have it snipped asap!

she also suggested i borrow a double electric pump from her to increase my supply and give him ebm with a couple of bf's daily,and also try the fenugreek tablets-she did warn me tho that they have the possibility of making my sweat smell like maple syrup(so if you see someone being chased by people carrying plates of pancakes thatll be me )

so we went to leek to collect the pump and i got the parts sterilized and set it up. only managed to get 35mls off them both and i tried again 4 hours later and only managed to get 5mls off both.

i tried sitting doing the skin to skin contact with him like the bf-hv suggested for a couple of hours inbetween the pumping sessions.

so when Ernie woke up i tried to feed him but only succeeded in becoming bloody sore,i got very upset and sat there curling my toes and crying-feeling so f******* useless. hubby gave him a bottle of the ebm which he drank,and started crying again for more-which i couldnt give him...so we gave him 2oz formula and he fell asleep.

i then began to google about the tongue tie op because hubby had said he wasnt keen on him having the op done at such a young age, but i found a brilliant article of the unicef website about it and the description of the difficulties tongue tied babies have with both breast and bottle feeding made me cry again.....it is Ernie to an absolute tee..........its not me.....im not the failure..........its because of the tongue tie!!!

so he is going to have it done as soon as we can get the appointment,i am going to persevere with the pumping and we WILL crack this,we just need his tongue doing first so we can do it.

i feel a lot more positive after reading that article, that once his tongue tie has been fixed we CAN do this breast feeding!!!!!!

the article is at the bottom of this post,in case it helps another mum who has a baby with a tongue tie

https://www.babyfriendly.org.uk/items/item_detail.asp?item=439

 

[Lu28]

You're doing so so well hon, I'm sure it'll all get easier in time

 

[Blah11]

You;re doing so well. I know its uncomfortable and frustrating in the start but when people say it gets so much easier, they aren't lying. I think you're doing the right thing with persevering with BFing until the tongue tie issue is solved. When do you expect it will be?

 

[jms895]

You are doing great hun!!!!

 

[Mervs Mum]

Bless you both You are up against it.

Dont feel like a failure - it's easy to blame yourself or the baby but it's just circumstances that are to blame and they can be sorted.

Just also remember that pumping is learned and so the more you do it the more you will get. It tool me a week to get from less than half an ounce per boob to 3 or 4.

Hang in there honey - you are doing a wonderful job.

 

[Blob]

Awww hun you should be so proud of what you've achieved so far, think about the positives rather than any negatives. You're not failing, you're trying and thats all you can do
Also expressig is hard, when i started doing it i couldnt eve get an oz in 30mins and i've got a massive oversupply...its not the same as a baby sucking.

Its not easy at all, most people struggle in the beginning.

 

[Samantha675]

Hang in there love, once you get LOs tounge sorted you both will be off to a good start with the support you have received.

Pumping like BFing takes time. Remember you have just started producing milk so try to be patient as it does take time to get production established. Pumping is different from a baby's suck, so it is sometimes hard to produce for the pump.

 

[Bearsbaby]

Well done, you"re doing a great job!! I found it really difficult to start with but now I'm so glad I persevered, x

 

[Always&4ever]

Bless, you are doing wonderfully hon *hugs*

 

[Crobsonrobson]

My sister had a tounge tied baby and he had it sorted out, she was worried about having it done but it was the little things that made her do it, like him being able to lick an ice cream etc, and of course the improvement in BF. Keep going - you 're doing all the right things.

 

[Hope22]

I'm glad you sorted out the reason you're having trouble. AFAIK the 'snip' is virtually painless because there are no nerves in that area, and the improvement in BFing is IMMEDIATE (they usually have you try in the office right after the procedure).

As someone who had major latching issues at the start, I can honestly say if you stick it out it WILL get better. As he grows and you both learn, you'll become a great BFing team. You'll look back when he's four or five months old and all the difficulty will be a distant memory.

 

[Pink_Witch]

thanks everyone!! i had a call at 9.30 this morning from the lady who is going to be doing his snip, he has his appointment for 2.30 on friday afternoon so hopefully by this time next week we will be well on our way to being successful with the breastfeeding

 

[Mervs Mum]

Let us know how he gets on

 

[Pink_Witch]

well,Ernie had his tongue tie snipped yesterday,was realyl quick and the midwives that did it were really nice and tried to give me as much info as they could to help me feed him. As soon as his 'op' was done they gave him straight to me to feed-and he went on properly almost immediatley fed for about 10 minutes and fell asleep i was really pleased and felt on a bit of a high,was looking forward to getting home and getting started with the feeding-they advised me to feed him about 2hourly over the next 48 hours to build up my supply and then he should settle down.

Got home, and it was time to feed him, struggled to get him to latch on properly, he seemed to be sucking like mad but not getting anything. tried him on the other side,and the same again , but we tried to get the positioning right but he made me so so sore,i tried even going up and laying on the bed with him but i was just so sore.

Ended up getting upset over it yet again-i am sick of the bloody tears over this i really am!! Feel that it is my fault somehow that i cant feed him-are my boobs too big? i dont know, i REALLY REALLY want to succeed with the feeding but it is just so sore-he seems to suck for ages not seeming to get anything and when you take him off he screams!

I have slathered myself in the lansinoh cream but they are still really sore- i am going to ring the HV on monday morning and ask for help- someone to come and SHOW me how to get him latched on right-not just tell me to show them how i do it-because he seems to latch on fine when we are being watched but as soon as its just us here it doesnt work.

Hubby is getting fed up with me crying over it and says he knows how much i want to feed him,but he hates seeing me getting upset over it and i think he would rather me switch completley to bottles so i can enjoy Ernie instead of focussing on the BFing and getting upset because for whatever reason i cant do it!!

why is something that is meant to be so natural-so f'in hard!!!!

 

[ajarvis]

Aw. sometimes it can be quite the struggle! Bishop knows how to latch and can feed no problem, but even still won't latch properly sometimes and it is SO frustrating. But one thing that helps me is just backing up for a sec making sure I'm relaxed and not stressed and then re-trying. They can tell when we're upset and that can make things worse.

Hope you get the help that you need!

 

[Samantha675]

Is there someone local with the Le Leche League you could call and talk to and see if they can help you with your latch? Also remember you are going through hormonal fallout from your birth, I know I was super teary the first few weeks, and that was without having BFing troubles.

 

[Mervs Mum]

Now he's had his tie sorted you will find that it's going to be like whn you first started for a while. His technique will be totally different so he'll be sucking in a way that may well make you sore again for a while.

Your boobs arent the problem hun. Size doesnt matter! BFing may be touted as 'natural' or 'normal' but that doesnt me it aint hard work at times.

If you really want to continue hun you just need to hang in there a little longer. He just needs to re-learn with his new, more efficient tongue. It wont take him as long as he knows the basic idea and he's also mot fighting to get your milk in too.

You have dont sooooo well darling. None of what has happened is anyone's fault - it's just stuff you have to deal with but no one is to blame. You have done amazingly well to come this far and I think you might just be on the brink of a very big breakthrough

 

[Dragonfly]

the start is hard. i know i cried my eyes out in pain and wanted to give up so much! but I kept on with support, you can do it. But only if you want to. It does get easier and very soon you wont feel pain at all it will just be natural. I like breast feeding now and I didnt for the first month. I dont know what a tongue tie is though? and I was told not to pump till about 5 months as your body will only make to much milk for baby that you are storing. I hate the pump though it was painful.

 

[ryder]

I would get the tongue tie looked after asap... it is a very easy surgery and will help loads.

I pumped in the beginning and within a couple days I could get 2oz from each breast no probs and very quickly (with a hand pump)... It just takes a little getting used to and playing around with.

 

[ryder]

I just read your reply...

Something you can try is you hand express before you get him to latch on, he will get a faster reward and hopefully he will figure out his sucking technique.

If he latches on, thats great... If he doesnt, then use your pump immedietly afterwards.

You can also buy these tube/bag feeders which your attach to your boob and put ebm or formula in, that way the baby still latches on and stimulates breastfeeding, but doesnt get as frustrated, this also eliminates the use of bottles.

You need to try and relax though, stress and crying can have an effect on your supply... Make sure you are eating well and drinking loads. You need everything you can get.

The more stimulation you get, baby or pump, the better...

Im the end all that matters is that you and your baby are happy and he is fed and thriving. I never made it past the first month of bfing because it was too painfull.... but I hope you succeed if that is what you wish.