One Month Angel Day

[blav]

One month ago today I had Mateo...it has been something of a hard day. Knowing it's the one month mark, that I should be almost 27 weeks, that I go back to work on Thursday. It's all kind of hitting me.

Then, we STILL hadn't got Mateo's pictures from the hospital so I called them the other day. The lady finally called me back today and left a message saying that they found his pictures but for some reason the company they use didn't print them and now its going to be another 7-10 days before the hospital gets them and then they'll call me when they're in. I just started crying in my car! I don't want to wait for them any longer, I want them NOW. And why didn't they print his pictures, what about him made them not print them? Why did he have to be the one that was overlooked????? I know that it wasn't a personal thing, but it's one more thing to add to my list to be sad and angry about.

Sorry for the rant, I just know you ladies will understand

 

[mhazzab]

I remember the one month mark being hard, take care of yourself today

I'm sorry that they didn't print the photos out for you, but just think how wonderful it will be when you do get them.
Did you see Mateo after he was born? It's wonderful having the photos I really didn't want them at first but they are my most treasured possessions now.

Try to be gentle on yourself, you might find your return to work hard (I know I have) but we will all be here for you.

I'm thinking of Mateo today, he will be playing with all our little angels, they will look after each other, like we do x

 

[blav]

Yes, we did get to see him. He lived for about an hour and we held him the whole time and for a couple hours after so I am thankful for that! My mom said, well at least they found them, it would have been awful if they lost them. I thought, really? are you kidding me? I'd have to burn the place down if they lost them.

None of the other "milestones" have been this hard for me, just a lot to think about right now I guess. As always, thank you for your kind words and support. They really do help so very much!

 

[OliveBay]

I know there's nothing I can say to make you feel better, but I just wanted to offer some love and hugs, and to remind you that we all know how you're feeling

The milestones are all horribly hard - one week, one month, two months, Christmas, due date...I'm sure it never stops. But at least on here its a safe place to let the rant out and be reassured that its totally normal.

I hope you get the photos soon and that they will bring you some comfort. Until then, just keep on letting those tears out whenever you need to, and know that we are here for you if you need us

 

[Andypanda6570]

I wish I would have gotten a picture of Ava that kills me I didn't do that. I was lucky that I held her and even though she was gone I know she felt me and my husband, she knew I would have died for her if that is what it would have taken for her to live. I am so happy you will get your pictures. It has been 9 months for me , but the first 2 months all I did was lye in bed and cry, it still kills me everyday. I do have my good days but boy when those bad days come they hit me like a boulder I guess the pain does get easier but not the emptiness or the loneliness, well for me anyway
As I said Mateo was a choice for us if Ava was a boy, I love that name. I am so sorry for your loss, i know how you feel and how your heart feels. Just know Mateo is with you, he is , please believe me. Mateo is with Ava and all our little angels, he is ok ... Alll My Love XOOX

 

[Nikki_d72]

I'm so sorry hon, yes all these milestones are hard, but the first couple of months were the rawest for me. I wish you a gentle day but let out those tears if you need to. I'm sorry you have to got abck to work so soon, I hope it's not too hard on you.
xxx