One week in...

[rosegarden620]

Hello everyone!
Some may remember me from the pregnancy side of things, but here I am a week post partum looking for the support of my fellow new moms.

My pregnancy and delivery were perfect. Didn't have any problems in my pregnancy- aside from a minute preterm labor scare at 32 weeks which ultimately meant nothing except me being dilated at 4cm for weeks. My delivery was perfect! I labored irregularly until I was 8cm dilated and they broke my water so that I would complete my last 2cm. She was out in 30 minutes start to finish.

My post partum period has been also great. My husband had a week off work and resumes tomorrow, my MIL lives with us and has been a huge help (mopping my floors as I write!) and people have brought us dinner this entire week.

My two oldest daughters have adapted well and life is surely resuming to normalcy as this week comes to a close.

I am exclusively bf'ing and aside from her cluster feedings at night, things are going grand.

Emotionally I am a mess. I cry over everything and in particular at deep topics like life, death and love. I have been having a difficult-ish time coming to terms with not being pregnant and watching my LO grow, what feels like, all to quickly.

I sobbed all last evening. Literally. I showered and sobbed simultaneously....I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.

Her umbilical stump fell off last night and I practically collapsed in tears. The idea of dh going back to work and our bubble-time being over had me sobbing. The idea that my labor and delivery is now a vivid memory as opposed to something in the near future had me in sobs....

I'm not depressed, or overwhelmed with negativity...just overwhelmed with emotion and realities. It's tough.

How is everyone else feeling? Where are you on the postpartum timeline? I'm still bleeding and passing small clots. I stopped taking pain meds three days ago and felt how sore I really was.

LO was born at 38w1d
Weighed 8lbs 1.3oz
19"
All natural with no tearing.

Anyone decide on birth control yet? Dh and I are going to keep under natural family planning with use of condoms and the occasional pull and pray method! Lol (jk about the last part....sort of lol)

Really looking forward to talking to some mommys!

 

[Laurans]

Hey Rosegarden,
Don't be hard on yourself! Sure we have a whole load of hormones racing around!
My baby is 12 days today, ended up in c section (at 38 weeks ) and some problems breastfeeding but all in all still a positive experience and the combi feeding now suits us well and allows us to get decent sleep!

I find I can/ could cry at a range of things...happy and sad! Absolutely have to avoid negative news stories in the paper for fear of turning into blubbering wreck, certain songs have same effect !!!
Was thinking today about how much I missed my bump! (Well ok I still have a bump but an empty one!) gosh how uncomfortable it was from week 30 but now I miss it !! In fact I was already thinking about how nice it would be to have more kids! Lol! Maybe I will be one of these crazy mammas who has 2 babies really close together! On the other hand the idea that I now have a baby overwhelms me!!!

I have been struggling to manage my c section scar and in fact day 6went to the park! Needless to day iv pushed way too hard and I tore some internal stitches and had loads of bruising!

As for birth control......haven't even considered it! To be honest I'm bleeding so much I can't even contemplate feeling sexual again in the near future! Thing is it took us 2 years and then 2 miscarriages to get our baby and so it's soooooooooo long since we used any birth control!!! Mmmmm I need to consider this for future reference!

So that's me! Sorry for the essay!
Take care xx

 

[Jmommy]

I could have wrote this myself! I had my baby last Saturday and I had been so anxious for her to come but now that she's here and the pregnancy experience is over I just want to put her back and do it again! I had a planned c-section (my 3rd) and it all went so fast. I am the type of person who loves the hospital stay after having a baby. I was in no hurry to get home, and now that I'm back home the weeping has really set in.

I too am having such a difficult time coming to terms with not being pregnant and seeing my baby grow way too quickly. She was born 9lbs 9oz and was in size 1 diapers by day 2. Why is that heartbreaking!? I don't know, but it is.

I can so relate with you about feeling sad about DH going back to work. I have enjoyed our time of just us and baby so much and I cry thinking about it being over. My husband's job will be taking him away for 5 days a week for the forsee able future and so I'm getting very sad for that As he will be leaving on Saturday and then I'll only see him Thursdays and Fridays.

I love how you said you're not depressed but rather overwhelmed with emotions and realities... I feel I couldn't have expressed my own feelings better.

I'm not sure if my post is helpful at all but it is nice to know I'm not alone in my feelings. This is also my 3rd baby (first girl for me) and I honestly couldn't be happier with my family. .. I know this is true but I can't wait to really start feeling it!

Thank you for your post! Congratulations on your new LO and I hope you get to feeling like yourself again soon!

 

[rosegarden620]

Laurans-
I loved your essay and it made me feel happy to read. I have an amazing support system but it's so incredibly nice to have people in the same boat as you. Congrats on having a 12day old baby! Now 13dYs old

I imagine myself saying this about my LO and once again crumbling into a mess of emotion. These hormones are really something else.

It's nice that you are able to get some decent sleep and I am sure that helps immensely with emotions. Last night was our best night yet. I've been co-sleeping and once I gave up on "traditional" rules I found that co-sleeping helped us sleep better too especially with me only bf-ing. Last night her cluster feeding was more spaced out and I got stretches of sleep 1.5-3hours long! Of course it meant an earlier morning, but I'll take it. I hope it sticks!

Dh leaves for work in 1 hr and I have been dropping tears all morning bc of it. He works from 2p-2a and then tomorrow 7a-7p. I went from having him by my side all day for the last 7days to not having him for a full 24 basically. It's tough. In a weird way I want to get it over with, cry my eyes out and move on...this anticipating his first day back has me very on edge. I probably sound like such a loser lol!

It sounds like your recovery has been slightly rocky! I hope you're taking it easy!

I know what you mean about being overwhelmed with having a new baby! I'm overwhelmed too, but even with my emotions and exhaustion dh and I decided on one more baby before closing up shop. Our time frame for our next one is three years. To have that discussion really made me feel elated to know we were/are on the same page. No birth control for us either- just the methods I described. Birth control doesn't bode well for my body and keeping it as nature intended makes me and dh happy. Also makes for easier conception (hopefully) when the time comes.

I'm bleeding as well, passing clots still and very minimal cramping. We will see when I feel sexual again. I'm not as sore anymore and I feel myself returning to normal...

Thank you again for responding. I can't express how much I need it. Lol

 

[rosegarden620]

Jmommy-
It's incredible isn't it? I really was soooo impatient on her arrival, trying anything from castor oil to jump rope, and to no avail. Now that she's here, I roll over and feel empty and miss her being inside me and go through the magical experience again. I am also one that enjoys the hospital stay. Once we were home on Friday the time started ticking for me...countdown to the end of our week at home with daddy with our newest addition. The weepiness set in on day 4/5 and hasn't really let up.

I know what you mean about the baby being in a size 1! My LO was in newborn diapers until we got home and she has been a 1 as well, we practically skipped the NB diapers and that's with an 8lb 1.3oz baby so I can imagine how you feel with your 9lber! Heartbreaking? Indeed it is. *tears*

Is Dh gone for the entire 5 days? If that's the case I would Probably have a heart attack from the sadness. DH just left and I left him
With a uniform shirt soaking wet from tears. It's over, our time home, together is over and limited to Saturday night and Sunday. I have him in the evenings some days but it's not the same. It's just not.... Ugh there go the tears again.

Your post has been beyond helpful. I have cried through most of it, but I'm positive now that you can relate. I'm right there with you- can't wait to start feeling it with less tears and more smiles.

Here's to a speedy recovery for us all.

 

[Laurans]

Hey Rosegarden and jmommy
How are you both feeling today?
I can sympathise with both of you on the husbands going back to work bit! My hubby is going back to Switzerland for work next week so will be gone Monday- Friday. I have so enjoyed having him around for 2 weeks! I am lucky though to be at his parents who will keep me company and help me out loads!

My Luca is steadily putting his weight back on now (he went from birthweight of 8lbs 8 to 7'10 ) he's doing great but today I put on two baby grows that were a bit small...,,I felt like whhoooaaaahhh hang on he's not meant to be growing out of stuff yet!!!!

Rosegarden- so glad u found cosleeping helpful.....my health visitor was saying .....look do whatever is right for you and your baby and family! Whatever keeps u sane! The more sleep you can get the more chance of you being able to enjoy your baby etc! I thought this was good advice!!!

Jmommy...you said this was your third c section! Did you miss pregnancy after the other babies too?

 

[SAmummy]

Hi I know I'm replying a little late, but all this has hit me now I could have written your exact post rosegarden ! I got super impatient for her to arrive and had an absolutely perfect birth ... Everything I wished for. My biggest feeling right now is I wish I could just do it all again .... Totally illogical I also love the whole hospital stay, but was sent home the next day because everything went so well there was no need to stay !

I am also feeling a little overwhelmed as I run my own business. All I have to do right now is keep up with a bit of admin and emails, but I found myself bawling to hubby today about how I wish I didn't have to worry about anything and just have maternity leave like everyone else ! I know I am making mountains out of molehills, but am sure it's the hormones.

The saddest thing for me right now is knowing this is our last ... I guess it's like having to accept that was the last pregnancy and birth I will ever have. I found myself googling "accidental 5th pregnancy" today .... Oh my gosh I am mental

I am not going to allow my emotions to stay here though because one day I will regret spending all my time feeling sad when I should just be enjoying my new baby ! She is a wee little baby and only weighed 6lb10oz when I weighed her today so I am enjoying that while it lasts

 

[rosegarden620]

Well, here were are nearly two weeks in and I am going so much better hormonally. I still find myself with waves of weepiness but it is no where near as bad as it was. DH leaving to work has been easier on me too, particularly because he is home earlier in the evening- though I do find myself missing him so much more now that we've had our baby. He's been an amazing support system and when I feel like I cannot function anymore, for one more minute, he comes in sweeps the baby from my arms and takes over until she wants to BF again.

I have also found that my LO loves bath time and can use it to my advantage! After bath time she has a good 1-1.5 hours of just "chill mode". This is where she just sits contently wherever I put her and watches the world go by. Its my plan C for the middle of the night. Her cluster feeding isn't nearly as bad as it was in the prelim days, though we are still doing marathons of BFing in the evening. I try to wake her up more periodically throughout the day in hopes that it will settle her cluster feedings down.

I dread the very idea of going back to work, and I am so sorry SAmummy that you feel like you don't have the kind of maternity leave you want. Its not molehills, its legitimate mountains! I know what you mean about remembering how short this time is, and not spending it being sad. I can imagine though that I would be just as sad if not more knowing it were my last pregnancy. I tried to wrap my mind around the concept right after I had this LO but i couldn't fathom it! My last one will be the bittersweet one and that one might keep me in shambles for quite some time.

Recovery wise, I feel good. Some pains and twinges here and there but mainly if I am constipated. I have set a date for my first glass of wine, so that is something nice and non-baby related to look forward too. Thats been my main focus for the moment, trying to focus on the baby and remembering all the non-baby things that I enjoyed...that is helping in the transition.

Laurans- The cosleeping has been immensely helpful and once I got over the stigma of it I found myself to be more relaxed and able to sleep more.

I love you girls...is that to sappy for me to say? haha! I really enjoy the support you lovely ladies provide.

 

[SAmummy]

Glad to hear you at doing well Rosegarden Much better on this side too ... The day I saw the thread I was having a real low and it was just so helpful to know I'm not the only one ! Really do love the support of you ladies

I have decided not to think about the "last" experiences as no one really knows what the future holds. I have memories of 4 amazing births and at the end of the day everyone goes through the same process where the childbearing years do end. For now I am just at the beginning with my last little one and I have 3 amazing sons to enjoy so feeling thankful today.

Physically i am concerned I may have some sort of prolapse ... My cervix is ridiculously low and I feel uncomfortable if I'm on my feet too long. I have read that it can be due to hormones and self correct, but for now I am doing kegels like crazy. I will have to see what the Dr says at 6weeks

 

[rosegarden620]

Hi girls!
Im checking in, just wanting to see how everyone is doing. We are hitting our three week mark over here and it's been one hell of a roller coaster so far- emotionally-! All good though with sleepiness laced throughout haha.

I finally feel like I'm getting into the swing if things. Friday I went on my first baby outing to an appt alone ! Granted, MIL was there, but it was me and baby. Me loading and unloading LO, me toting her about, changing her and feeding her...etc. and hey! Guess what! I survived and even took more than 5 minutes to get ready (thanks to my baby girl!) complete with some makeup application.

So, I'm definitely managing and will attempt to cook dinner tomorrow! First time since I've given birth. Lol...that sounds bad haha. Wish me luck on that one...hoping what I cook can be prepped fast enough.

Physically, still bleeding. Not bright red or a lot but little clots here and there with scanty-small amounts. Breasts get slightly painful from time to time when I haven't BF "in awhile". Sexually...it has been the last thing on my mind. Until today. Today I missed DH terribly and when we were affectionate I really really wanted to...ya know. But...it did kinda hurt to get turned on (sorry tmi). So, I just hope at our 6 week mark I feel ready to go and this bleeding goes away.

Samummy that's a great way of thinking! Thankful. Time flies so quickly, for everyone, so appreciating what is and what will be. As for the feeling of your prolapse, is it better? I try doing kegals when I remember but I forget what I'm doing to fast ! I hve to sit there and consciously do them or forget I'm doing them lol.

Hope everyone is doing well!

 

[bcos21]

I cried at the drop of a hat about anything baby related. Now at 19 months pp it still feels like everything is going WAY too fast but luckily I dont cry about it ALL the time lol. It really does take a while for the hormones to truly balance out. At about a year I felt more like myself for sure.

 

[Laurans]

Hey ladies, how are you all doing?
I have returned to Switzerland now and my hubby has been off this week to help with 3 months of unpacking and to get us settled before he returns to work on Monday!!!
Unfortunately my beautifully happy, content healthy little baby has been replaced by a constantly sick, struggling to poop, crying/ screaming boy!
Went to the docs on thurs and he said he had excess gas for which he advised fennel and flatulex(infacol which he was already taking every feed!)
Today I broke down In to tears as he was simultaneously sick, peed and pooped (explosively!) as I changed his nappy!
Hate seeing my poor baby in discomfort and sooooo worried how I will cope next week without hubby! Some days we have not got round to eating until 3 pm and I'm not looking after my diabetes like I should! How will I manage on my own??
How are you ladies managing now?
Sending hugs x