Only Child

[snb1978]

My husband and I are torn whether to have another child, Im worried that my little girl will grow up and be lonely, if you are an only child can you please tell me whether you was lonely as a child........thank you

 

[Twister]

I'm an only child and tbh I did feel very lonely at times. I always wanted a brother or sister to play with, I used to get so bored sometimes. I was bullied for a time at school and didn't have many friends until I started secondary school. I had two younger cousins who I was very close with and had a sibling type bond with them but obviously they weren't always around and when I was about 7 they moved up north which broke my heart.

It was ok because I got somewhat spoilt (my mum used to say I was spoilt but was never a brat) but I would have loved to have had someone to share my video and board games with and someone to play football with in the back garden (as you can tell I was a bit of a tomboy).

For that reason (well it's one of the reasons), I've always wanted more than one child as I really do feel as though I've missed out. My mum would have loved to have more than one child but my step dad wasn't interested in having kids of his own (he was a great father figure to me though) and they never got around to it.

 

[Ceejay123]

I'm not an only child, I have two sisters. One that I grew up with, two years older than me. We were the absolute best of friends, I can't imagine growing up without her. I now have a four year old sister, as much as she has me.. She's more or less an only child as there's 17 years difference. She's very lonely, and constantly needs attention. x

 

[StarrySkies]

I'm not an only child but my OH was growing up (until his mum re-married 18 years later and had his sister) and he said it used to get quite lonely and would loved to of had a sibling to grow up with and do stuff with.

x

 

[charlotte-xo]

I'm not an only child but there is 7 years between me and my brother, we weren't close at all and it did get quite lonely but I always had my mum to play with but would've loved a sibling closer to my age to pal about with but saying that just because you have more than one child it doesn't necessarily mean they'd get on iykwim. It'd be unfair on you and your oh and of course the second child if you had them just as a play friend for your LO more so than keeping your LO an only child. Do you want more children anyway or would it be soley so your child has a sibling. Xx

 

[xlouloux]

DF was an only child and loved it, he's very sociable as an adult. He was always glad he was an only child mostly because he was spoiled but he made loads of friends at school. I am from a big family and I often felt lonely because time with our mom was limited and as children none of us ever really got on well.

If it's what you want then go for it. x

 

[snb1978]

thanks for your replies some good points x

 

[wilbz]

I am an only child yes I would have loved a brother or sister, it didnt bother me as a child as I had lots of friends, but it does now I am older. I find I have some very close friends who are like family to me and treat me like a sister, but to see the bond they have with there siblings is something I know I will never have. I also find the majority of my friends now are a lot older than myself, and I dont know if that is because I was around older people alot with being an older child. When I had my daughter and we were planning and pregnat with our second I started panicking wether or not we had made the right decission, as I was worried I couldnt love another child as much as our daughter, I think this is a worry for a lot of people, but when they are born, that worry just disapears. Hope this as helped

 

[MrsVenn]

Both hubby and I are only children and I can hand on heart say I never felt lonely, not once. Neither did DH. We both had a lot of one to one attention and given many opportunities, our daughter will also be an only child and we intend to raise her the same way we were so she shouldn't need a brother/sister for company.

I have a stepsister and she's lovely but I think if I'd actually grown up with a sibling in the same house, one of us would have killed the other. Each to their own though, I have some friends who are the eldest of 3 who envy my position but others who are the youngest who want a younger sibling.. we're all different.

 

[rwhite]

I'm not an only child, but often I felt like one growing up as my brother and sister are much older than I am (8 years and 10 years older). I would have loved a younger sibling or at least an older sibling close in age to me, but I was born at 30 weeks because mum got pre eclampsia and it was too much for her, so she decided I would be the last child they would have.

I did have friends over sometimes but it just wasn't the same. I do feel like I really missed out on something and my relationship with the siblings I do have isn't as strong as it could be.

At the end of the day though, if deep down in your heart you want another child, have one. Don't just have one for the sake of giving your LO a sibling

 

[supertabby]

I'm an only child and from my perspective adulthood is more of an issue than childhood.

I was never lonely as a child, I had plenty of friends and if my parents took me on a day out to the zoo or somewhere I was allowed to bring a friend.

Now I'm an adult, I'm aware of being the only one to care for my parents when they get old. They're divorced and my dad has literally nobody except my stepmum who is disabled and has mental health issues and me. He's not in great health himself either and at stages he's been a burden if I put it bluntly (we're not even close). That said my mum has to care for her mother a lot as she's getting more frail and has already done a temporary stint in a care home, my mum has two sisters but one of them refuses to help and its really driving a wedge between them. So you never know I guess.

 

[Laura2919]

I don't see how she would know any different?

My brother is 30 and my sister is 32, I am only 25 and they would go out and enjoy themselves doing things together with friends but I couldn't cos I was young.

 

[charleosgirl]

Both my mom and BIL are only children and found it very lonely. I hope LO will have a sibling one day. It all comes down to what you think is best

 

[sparkle_1979]

I was broght up an older child ( have half siblins but they lived in a different county ) I never felt lonely as I have a big family with lots of cousins.

I have two girls now and tbh really happy they have each other to play with x

 

[Ceejay123]

I'll add my Room-mate was an only child until he had a brother at 17. He loved it too, his parents split when he was 11/12.. He was spoiled from day 1.

I'm in the same problem, My son has a half brother on his fathers side. Gorgeous little three year old, but I doubt him and my son are going to be round each other much. I want another child so that my little one has a sibling, whereas my OH doesn't as he already has two. We will end up having another, we've already spoken about it... I just don't want my LO growing up without siblings/resenting me for not seeing his siblings. x

 

[Jade--x]

I wanted my LO to be an only child I didn't want to have anymore - and my awful pregnancy and labour just reinforced that. Then I had my 2nd and wouldn't change him for the world they get on so well they entertain each other and they adore each other x

 

[Piggywinkle]

I'm an only child and never really wanted a brother/sister. I've always enjoyed my own company without feeling lonely. I was lucky in that I was a fairly outgoing child so I made friends easily.

As I've grown older, I look back and I can honestly say that I was never unhappy with being an only child. The only thing that bothers me is when people assume I was spoiled - I'm quick to tell them that this was never the case. In teaching me that you earn nice things with good behaviour/hard work, my mom is, and always has been, fantastic and if I can only be half as good a mom to my LO, then I'll be damn proud of myself.

I'm pretty sure that LO will be an only child too, but I'm not worried as I know what it's like and I can only encourage her along paths that mean she doesn't equate being alone with being lonely.

 

[quirk]

I was an only child and was definitely not lonely. I was always around friends, outside of school mostly. I was bullied at primary school though for quite a while, on and off, from the same girl who also bullied others from our group of friends. When I realised it wouldn't stop, I was comfortable enough to move away from the group and be by myself. I wasn't by myself long though, as others seemed to find me interesting and gathered around me, I'm not sure why. As an adult though, I'm quite a solitary person, which is what I choose to be, as that's how I'm most comfortable.

 

[tink23]

I'm an only child but must admit I didn't really even think about a brother or sister. I was quite glad most of the time cuz my friends who had siblings used to complain and wish they were me lol. Can't say I ever really felt lonely either tbh! Depends on the child I guess, I always made friends really easily which probably helped.

 

[lauralou25]

I think it depends on the child/children really yes when they are small they will play with eachother and grow up but when they say hit school/secondary school and get their own friends then it could be a different story i have 2 sisters and there is 4 years between me and my sister and all we done when we grew up was fight ha ha we had goodtimes etc playing but the majority of the time we fought and once we got to school age we had our own friends now as adults we see each other and its nice but we still have our own lifes etc i think if you want another child then go for it but if your solely going to have another baby for a companion for your first think it through xx