Operation advice

[Danuta]

Hello guys,

I hope you do not mind me disturbing here, I'm not strictly WTT because I don't have any set plans at the moment! But I wanted to ask some advice, I don't know if anyone here had similar situation or knows someone who had, but any advice or thoughts would be appreciated very much

I gave birth 4 months ago to my first child (a beautiful little girl, Dajana!) and I really love being a mum - I want to have more kids and I would really love to get pregnant again within the next 1 or 2 years to have two children close in age! But, there is at the moment a problem with this: it's a bit embarassing but in my pregnancy and after birth I got a very bad nerves and muscles damage which is apprently unlikely to be reversable and as a result, I got a very bad bladder weakness problem It's actually a mixture of "urge" problem and "stress" problem, and for the urge incontinence I am taking medication which maybe I will always have to take. But for the stress incontinence, I have tried bladder training and kegels and after assessment by specialist, they've told me it will need a bladder suspension operation to change.

I don't want to have an operation because apart from anything, they say you can't give a natural birth after you've had it. but, I am really sick of this problem, of being all the time wet (sorry tmi!) and wearing pads and changing my clothes 3 times a day! So I would have this operation if it would give me back a normal life! But, I am worried I won't be able to have kids and that I cuoldn't give birth naturally or it might make difficulties to conceive. I am so confused and I don't know what to do!

Does anyone have any thoughts or advice which might help??

Thanks xxx
Dana

 

[Bmary83]

Sorry, I don't have any experience of this whatsoever tho have a friend who has something similiar although I don't think it caused her any problems going to the bathroom. But basically she tore so badly duing labour that I think if she has a natural birth next time she will have the above problems, anyway, she is currently 20wks preg with her second and as far as I know is opting for a ceasarian. I guess she thinking more about the baby and after life rather than the actual birth. Hope this helps. x

 

[Amygdala]

Could you think about waiting another year or two with the operation and have baby no2 a bit early? I personally wouldn't go for the operation if there's any risk that it will make ttc a problem. But the I've not had to suffer what you're suffering every day so I can't really give you advise based on experience. But I do think you'd regret it terribly if for any reason you had problems ttc afterwards.

 

[Danuta]

I did think about it, but I am not sure if I could deal with another pregnancy right now! I am still a bit overweight after the last (I got a lot fatter while pregnant lol) and having this bladder problem anyway doesn't make daily life so easy, even without being pregnant :/
Of course I think about just continuing with the bladder retraining and so on but I don't feel any difference from it and basically the specialist has told me that it's not going to help and the operation is the only thing that will fix...

 

[carbafe]

Have you spoken to your doctor about the implications on TTC ? If the only problem would be with having a natural birth and not with actually conceiving I think I would go with it and you would be able to have caesarean for the birth. It sounds like it would really improve quality of life for you and happy mum can only be good for your babies Obviously I don't know all the risks but I would suggest making an appointment with your doctor and writing down all your questions before you go. Maybe take your other half or your mum along with you to help remember everything they tell you. Good Luck xx

 

[Danuta]

Well, if that will be the only problem I think I will go for it to be honest. Thanks for the advice - now it seems so obvious! As soon as my OH is back from his contract in Poland I will make an appointment and we can discuss all these things..

 

[carbafe]

Hello

Just wondering how you are getting on ? Is your OH back yet ?

 

[Danuta]

Hey!
Sorry for the late reply! Actually, after a lot of talking with OH and a lot of assesment and talking with the specialist, I am going ahead with the bladder suspension surgery and I'm going in tomorrow... :nervous:
It's done with general anasthetic and I'm quite nervous, but looking forward to the problem finally being solved!