Opinions please...

[Ash_P]

Ok after long considerable thought, I have tried to think of the situation from an outsiders point of view and this is what I have come to.....

FOB`s dad and step mum have shown no support towards me since I was 11 weeks pregnant. My ex husband has told so many lies to them, they have even said that they arent sure that the chilld is even his. Then in the next breathe have said they are seeking legal advice towards me because I am giving baby my maiden name. But yet after all this have said they would buy me a cot and bedding and a baby monitor.
I was then informed that the baby monitor that they are giving me was orginally bought for a girl they know who went on to have an abortion. Which really doesnt please me at all. And that I dont get a say in the cot that is being bought, I should take what Im given.

So i lost the fuckin head and have decided that I want nothing of them. It would be hypocritical of me to accept gifts of people who cants be arsed with my child, and who are doubting the friggin paternity.
So I sent FOB a message saying more or less to tell his dads said of the family to shove the gifts up their hole! I want nothing from them, I havent needed them from day one and certainly dont need them now.
Im not gonna have them slabber about me then me take stuff off them.

Whats ur views girls? Rite thing to do or would u have done it differently?

 

[sweetlullaby]

Ash ...if i had the guts to do it i would have done the same!!

In regards to FOB's family seeking Legal advice on the surname you are planning on giving your LO.....this might just be useful for you!!! I just noticed your location....its nice to have someone on here who has the same laws applicable to them

https://www.adviceguide.org.uk/nire...s.htm#naming_the_child_on_a_birth_certificate

This paragraph in particular......

Naming the child on a birth certificate

The mother of the child can give the child any first and surname she chooses. She may give the child the father’s surname if she wants and she does not need the father’s consent to do this. In Northern Ireland details about a father who is not married to the mother may only be entered in certain circumstances.
A man registered on the birth certificate as the father of the child has no right to insist that the child is given a particular name, for example, his surname.
A married couple can also choose any surname for their child. It does not have to be the name of either of the parents.

I hope it puts your mind at rest a bit xx

 

[purpledahlia]

i think you did the right thing. They sound like theyre just trying to have some power and control over you and it seems to me they would use the cot against you in the future. IE... well we bought the cot so you have to do 'x' or we can take it back, etc, sad, but people like this exist. id of said thanks but no thanks asewll x

 

[Ash_P]

Sweet thanks for that, thats realy put my mind at rest.
FIL said that he will be at my door having it out with me, and the baby will get their surname if its the last thing he does.
My step dad said it could well be the last thing he does cause if he comes near my door he`ll know all about it.
Iv just realised FOB is still on holiday with his whore!
Im sure getting a text from me has put him in rite jolly form. Fuck him lol
Im past the point of caring now. My LO is priority,

 

[babybaillie]

I think uve done the right thing. The last thing u want is to feel as tho u owe themsumthing just cause they gave sumthings..... This could be a ploy to get u to use married name.... stick to ur guns xx

 

[sweetlullaby]

Flip.....

"FIL said that he will be at my door having it out with me, and the baby will get their surname if its the last thing he does."

Your situation is sooo similar to mine!! Its horrible isnt it? The fact that these people are harrassing us and using threatening and intimidating behavior to do so.

Its a shame some things cant be documented or in writing because if I had of got a phone call or text message or letter or email saying something like this etc then i would have went straight to the police.

But because it was verbal ....its like his word against hers type thing which is really annoying!!

Sorry ranting a bit again lolxx

 

[lilyd]

If his son hadn't been such an arse then your FIL wouldn't be having to make such pathetic comments, it has absolutely nothing to do with him. He should be directing his anger a little bit closer to home!

Totally agree with the stance you have taken, why would they even want to buy gifts for a child they possibly don't even believe is their grandchild?

 

[lou_w34]

You did the right thing!!
Why accept something of someone who doesnt even believe the child is related to him! What a tosser!

 

[teal]

I would have done the same thing. Why would you accept something from them when they are having doubts the baby is their sons?
What surname you give your child has nothing to do with them.
Sending you hugs xx

 

[purpledahlia]

god, men anger me, what a buch of A holes!!!

 

[sweetlullaby]

Completly agree.....they are ASSHOLES when they get on like this!!