OT - ds's dad keeps lettin him watch inappropriate films for his age! argh....

[lkb21]

Ive always said that my sons dad is a good dad but a bloody rubbish parent at times! we have been seperated since DS was 3 months old, but he has seen his dad over night religiously on a wed and a sat, and we make all major decisions together, and are for the most part on excellent terms. HOWEVER, he makes stupid judgement calls that i find exhasperating! to the point I want to cry! Eg, he came home last week and told me he had been playing on grand theft auto at a cousins house hes 6! I felt sick and i hit the roof. His dad claimed that they had been upstairs playing and he didn't know what they were playin. Wherever I am with my son, i know EXACTLY what he is up to at all times cause its my job! I am forever finding out (ds tells me) that he has watched films rated 12 or even 15! most recently demolition man. I dont let him watch some pgs.

I kick off every time and then given reassurances that he will think more carefully about the choice of films he lets him watch, but there is always next time!

I really dont know how to deal with this! I would jever stop ds from seeing his dad, their bond is far too strong, but i need his dad to wake up and realise there is a reason for ratings on films. The influence of these images and the things he is hearing can have a profound effect on a young mind imo!

How can I police this and ensure the things he is seein when not on my care are age appropriate? It's really getting me down!

 

[mommy2baby2]

Have a talk with him and explain the importance of not exposing kids to certain things until they are a certain age. Explain to him how important it is that your child remain a child and not be exposed to sex, violence...etc. I mean, he has the next 80 years to be an adult, there is no reason a 6 year old needs to be left unattended playing GTA, watching PG movies or being exposed to other things the media has to offer. Plus, if your ex only gets 2 days visitation, why is he leaving the child unattended anyways? You'd think he'd want to savor every second.

I know you don't want to prevent them from seeing each other, and I'm definitely not suggesting that is the route to go but if your ex doesn't want to get on the same page as you, there will forever be problems about what the child is exposed to. GTA is a VERY graphic and violent game...I play it myself but will never play it when the kids are awake or able to come in and see the screen...if it's "only" GTA now, what will it be next?

I think setting up ground rules, about TV, movie & game ratings will help. But you need to be willing to take a stand if/when he doesn't follow through.

 

[I<3paul]

It's really good that you've stayed on good terms for your son. I think the best thing to do is to leave it for now until it happens again, if it does then say I'm not having a go at you but you told me you weren't going to let this happen again? When you drop him off or his dad picks him up say to his dad don't let him watch any fis again or play on games he shouldn't. It might be that every so often you have to remind him about things. Without you there to say no to things in his mind his son wants to do something and he only gets to see him twice a week so he just wants to make him happy. Good luck, you're both great parents for maintaining such a good relationship. Xx

 

[mystika802]

such a hard situation, my sons biological father hasnt seen him since he was 2 so I dont have those issues now but I have issues like that with my mom, she lets him do/watch pretty much whatever he wants. We try to teach him that hes not allowed and he will tell my mom hes not allowed to do it, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt but its really hard to 'police' those things when hes not with me.
I would try talking to him being nice, most men will shut off their "listening" right away when you start to yell or get mad at them, try just reasoning with him, it might work?