Our Birth Control Choice - Vasectomy. Why and How. Ask ? if you're curious!

[Guppy051708]

Despite being so young (im 25 and DH is a new 26), we have decided to get perminant birth control via Vasectomy. We already have two boys (17 months apart, eldest will be 3 in a couple of months). And we have a baby girl on the way (due right before DS1 turns 3).

I have a plethora of medical conditions such as severe pelvic organ prolapse (2nd degree rectal and uterine prolapse and 2-3rd degree bladder prolapse according to my last specalist exam, before this pregnancy). It's so bad natural measures have not worked, nor will they work and require surgery to fix. But if i get the surgery i am not to get pregnant again as pregnancy alone will likely undo what the surgery fixed.

I have split stomach muscles that may require surgery, but we dont know at this point if it will or not. This is causing a lot of issues and pain in my lower back. It's causing Sciatica (which is ongoing even when not pregnant, but worsened by pregnancy). I see a chiro to help but it's not enough.

With this pregnancy i have severe SPD and Hypermesis Garviduarm (HG). Ive been extremly ill, even now at nearly 33 weeks. So this is another reason i dont want to EVER be pregnant again. It was/is brutal!

I also have endometriosis, estrogen dominance, and a progesterone deficiency which will be treated via Mirena IUD once im done nursing (for hormonal therapy). Every time i am PP it flairs SUPER horribly and its unbearable for months on end. It's almost like giving birth pisses it off and so it goes crazy.

On top of this i have had hypothyroidism since i was 10 years old. Which isn't a big deal, but the problem is every time i am postpartum i develop PP Thyroiditis. My thyroid goes super super hyper for a while (and that is brutal!) and then it goes super super hypo for a long time (ive gained almost 50lbs between both PP periods with my kids). According to my endocrinologist, every time my thyroid takes a hit i am at a much increased risk of thyroid cancer and a plethora of other problems due to the rapid weight gain (i gained 35lbs in 10 days after DS1).

So those are reason enough that i shouldnt be pregnant again.
Besides that, DH and i have zero support as our family is a 10 hour drive away. With having 3 under 3, we need our sanity so we have come to the conclusion the male sterilization is best for us.

The Urhologist totally understood and said he doesn't normally do Vasectomys on someone so young, but given our circumstances (ESPECIALLY my health concerns) he agreed to do it for us.

Here is our experience (taken from my journal):

Just writing out the specifics so we have it for our own personal reasons. If this is too long, feel free to skim or skip entirely

Prep/Pre Care:

Spoiler

DH had to eat light foods the 24 hours before (nothing greasy or heavy).
Then he had to fast 12 hours before, so no food/drink (besides water) after 9pm last night.
He was instructed to take the Valium about 2 hours before the procedure. So he woke up at 7am and took one pill. He wasnt allowed to drive or anything like that once he took it (for a good reason too bc it made him super sleepy).
We left around 8am and got there about 8:30am. Around 8:15 he started getting really loopy. He was tired and falling asleep in the car. He must have been pretty out of it bc isaiah kept asking him stuff (loudly) and he never woke up. I tried having a conversation w him but it was useless. He said he felt like his brain was working at half speed. He couldn't formulate words very well bc he couldn't move his mouth to. It was kind of funny actually.
He tried reading me the directions to me but could hardly do so lol
I dropped him off at the facility. I probably should have walked him but he assured me he could get in there. Then i left w the kids and went to the store while he was in there. (it was really weird just dropping him off to go get sterilized )

The procedure:

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He got into the office and registered. They asked him if he took the Valium and he said yes to which they replied "We can tell ". Then they took him back (im guessing they helped him walk back there as he was so out of it). The funny part here is what DH remembered the most - how well dressed the [young] doctor was. Haha. he went into detail about everything from his tie to his shoe laces So he must have been pretty drugged if that was the highlight
He got into the room, mentioned he felt too under dressed in his basketball shorts and T-shirt (bc remember, he was so impressed w how well dressed the doctor was ) The doctor responded with "dont worry you'll feel even more under dressed in a minute"
He took off his shorts and tighty whites (they required him to bring them as they support things once everything is done-that or a jock strap) and laid on the bed. The put one of those paper blanket thingsy over him. They used liquid disinfectant stuff to clean the area (i think it probably had a little numbing agent in it too).Then the doctor shaved his nuts. The doctor mentioned it will probably be an itchy mo-fo in a few days from growing back DH responded w/ "yeah, i figured. Thats why ive only ever done it once and not doing it again!" (they even got into this side conversation about why waxing is better, and how the doctor is pretty sure the receptionist gets that done regularly ...dont even want to know how he knows that!)
After that, they gave him a shot of Lidacaine (i thought it was Novocaine, but guess not). Whatever it was, it was just a quick shot and then numbed it. DH said it only pinched for a second and then went numb.
They felt around down there and were especially articulate bc DH had a hernia operation when he was younger, so things dont sit as evenly. So they have to be careful with that as they could be in the wrong area than normal.
They did the left side and all went fine. Didn't take much time at all. DH said he could feel them tugging on things but no pain.
Then they moved to the right side...and DH said it actually really hurt when they punctured him. Apparently he needed more numbing agent, so he got another shot and then was numb enough for them to continue. So on they went and cut that (he had the more modern procedure where they dont use a scapel).
After that they then cauterized both ends (burned them off). DH said it smelled REALLY bad in the room. He said it was a very strong skin , burning smell and super disgusting.
There was tons of tugging and pulling. DH says his lower abdomen is hurting now, almost like he has pulled muscles but nothing too bad.
Next they stiched both holes up. Cleaned him up and put some gauze on it. And off he went.

The entire procedure took about a half hour, maybe 25 minutes. Not long at all.

AFTERCARE:

Spoiler

He booked his follow up for July 24th at 3:45pm.


Bed rest for the first 24 hours, 2-3 days would be better.
Light foods, nothing heavy for the first 3 days.
Ibuprofen for pain relief, as needed.
Wear jock strap or tighty whites to prevent things from moving around
Ice the area for the first 24 hours to help with swelling.
Warm, moist compresses after 24 hours to help reduce swelling.
Keep the area cleaned. Change gauze pads as needed.
The stitches do not need taken out as they will go away on their own.
No showering for 24 hours, then he can do that. Sponge bathe in the meantime.
No heavy lifting or walking.
No sex for the first 5 days. After that he is free to resume once he is without pain. Use protection as he is not yet sterile.
He is not to do any physical exercise for 2 weeks
Since he has an office job he can go back to it on Monday.

FOLLOW-UP:

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In about 10 days he will go back to make sure everything has healed correctly.
He needs to have 2 seman samples done in the comming 10-12 weeks. (not sure how long, exactly). But they will test. He needs 2 to come back as 0 before he is considered sterilized. In the meantime he has to use protection (though that wont be hard since im pregnant )

Then he is good to go & we wont have to worry about BC forever

If you have any questions, please ask! Ive included updates throughout the thread as well.

We are very happy with this choice. We are very much at peace. If you had asked me a year and ahalf ago about this option i would have cried thinking we wouldn't have kids again, but now that the circumstances have changed so much i couldn't be happier. We may be young but our family is complete. We are looking foward to the new adventures that will result once our kids are no longer so little. I feel relieved to have this as well so i dont have to endure more medical hardships. I know this is permianant and viewed as for life, but i feel this is the best choice for us. It was a good compromise with our morals and BC (which we struggled a lot w and actually i dont feel we compromised anything bc it lines up w our beliefs). And between the Vasectomy and the IUD (once i get it) we should def not be getting pregnant again.

I know most ppl would assume this is a horrid choice for a couple so young, but sometimes circumstances are even bigger and a different route needs to be taken. We are doing this for my health (mostly) and for our lifestyle sake. This is truly a blessing to us and very helpful. I know we will not regret this (as so many ppl worry about that). So ladies, if you are in any type of situation similar and getting the 3rd degree about being young, just remember sometimes sterilization is the best choice (though not for everyone! but dont let ppl speak down to you just bc of your age). For us, the benefit is worth the risk.

 

[mara16jade]

Thank you for this. This will probably be our only option since I can't go on any type of BC except barrier methods. And everyone knows its a much simpler procedure for men than it is for women to get sterilized. I'll probably refer back to this post in a few years to show my DF.

Will you update on your hubby's recovery? I know my DF is kinda terrified about the pain.

 

[Guppy051708]

Will you update on your hubby's recovery? I know my DF is kinda terrified about the pain.

Totally

DH wasn't nervous about getting it done besides the pain. Thats what he worried the most about. My only suggestion for that is to have the doctor pinch him (in that area) after the numbing agent is administer to make sure that it is actually numb. Even though DHs left side was numb, his right side was not. If they would have double checked he wouldn't have had to deal with that pain during the procedure. But even though that hurt (Which should not have happened in the first place), he said it still wasn't THAT bad. It hurt, said it was about the same feeling as "being kicked in the balls", but it was managable.

Overall he said it was not as bad as he thought it was going to be and the pain was much less than he anticipated.

I'll update once the Lidocaine wears off though.


The biggest thing to preventing any long term pain/damage, as far as what research we have done and what his Urhologist said, is to DEF take the first few days as bed rest. Dont do anything at all. The ppl who end up with long term pain are the ones that either have an inexperienced doctor (so make sure you meet with one and really get to know their experience and outcomes) as well as doing too much too soon. Def take a couple of days off.

A friday is recommend for ppl who have a standard 9-5 job that way you can utilize the weekend for recovery.

 

[laila 44]

So jealous. Wish my dh would agree to it, it would make life so much simpler!!!

 

[meli1981]

Thank you so much for this info as wecwant to takethis route. Im 32 husband is 31, we have two girls and our boy. We are complete. i hate bc as it gives me side effects and we dont like to use condoms. This info will help us out greatly thx

 

[Guppy051708]

Glad to be of assistance!

So jealous. Wish my dh would agree to it, it would make life so much simpler!!!

aww, why's he so against?

 

[Guppy051708]

The first 24 hours

Spoiler

were pretty uneventful. DH stayed in bed for most of it. He got up once to go to the bathroom. I think he must have gotten up too quickly bc he got super dizzy and lightheaded whilist trying to urinate. He almost fell but braced himself on the bathroom door and was fine. I had him sit down for a few minutes and gave him some water to drink. After that he was fine and no issues.

After that its been uneventufully. DH stayed in bed for much of 2 days, although he did come down stairs a few times. But we wanted to limit his activity as much as possible so that he doesn't have any long term pains.

Around Day 2 post "op"

Spoiler

he spent a lot of time downstairs with myself and th ekids. But we had to be very careful to make sure the toddlers wern't running into him or jumping on his lap. We stayed home basically all wekekend.

As the weekend went on the pain got less and less. I think Day 2 was when he hurt the most, but i can't be certain. Day 1 he said what hurt the most was near the [very lower] abdomen area (bc during "surgery" they have to pull and tug on things"). I dont think his "manhood" hurt so much at that point (i know it did hurt, but his lower abs were hurting more). I think maybe he still had some of the numbing agent working "down below" which could explain why that didn't hurt much for the first day.

Day 2/3

Spoiler

he said his abs were no longer hurting. his "area" was still hurting. He said if he laid down or sat then that helped relieve it the most. Standing hurt things the worst, so he refrained from that as much as possible.

Day 4

Spoiler

things are healing pretty well. The pain was at it's least. He did work from home that day (i think he was a little embarassed bc of how he had to walk around, so he didn't want ppl at work saying anything). I think thats more why he wanted to work from home. Though he was still in pain, but it wasn't as much as the previous days. He did mention that he was glad he worked from home. but by the end of Day 4 he said the pain was so little that he was actually looking forward to going back to work tomorrow (day 5). With that said, he took it easy, mostly sitting on the recliner (the recline position seemed to bring a lot of relief but be careful getting up!!). He was able to do more things around the house, but was still taking it easy. He was pretty helpful thou and able to change diapers and put the kids in bed, but he was sure not to overdue things and sat/lay frequently.

day 5

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He left for work and seemed to be doing well. I havn't gotten a chance to ask him how he felt (it's Day 5).

Pain Relief and TIPS

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So here's the deal on what he did for pain relief during healing (besides what they give for the actual procedure). He took one tylenol on Day 2. That was it. He hasn't had any meds other than that, so ladies if your man is worried about the pain, it doesn't seem like it's too crazy painful but obviously my man did okay without Tylenol (for the most part), so they def could take some of that and im sure it would make it even more manageable.

Also, with using an "ice pack". DH used two ice packs (that the doctor gave him) for the first day. But once he ran out, he would have a zip lock baggy on hand that was filled with super cold water. He said he actually prefered the cool water bag over the ice pack bc the water just goes to all the areas (once the bag was over "things") and so it actually worked better. So i thought that was a handy little tip i would pass along

As of last night (Day 4) the stiches are still intact. I reckon they will be falling out soon.

 

[Guppy051708]

DH has been at work all day (he has an office job and just sits at the computer doing IT/System Admin work, so the doctor said he could go back as long as he stayed seated for most of it). Anyways, he seemed fine when he left, and i *think* he is still feeling better than the previous days, but he did mention he was uncomfortable bc he can't "adjust himself" when he sits down or "readjust himself" like he would at home (TMI but it invovles...moving stuff down there and obviously he can't do that in public). So he is uncomfortable and cant get comfortable bc he can't be discrete. He said if he were able to fix "it" then he would be fine. He said he is not enjoying the walk to the bathroom either (he is still walking awkward). Otherwise, things are better, but he just isn't in the proper environment to comfort himself.

Just thought it was note worthy, since theoretically an office job you should be able to return to quickly. Which he can but if there are a lot of other ppl around it may be a challenge to get comfortable. And the walk to the bathroom is a bit of a hike (other end of the building). But if those wern't factors than working an office job would be fine

 

[Guppy051708]

Just updating. We are now about three weeks out since the vasectomy.

I believe around 6-7 days (possibly 8, i can't remember for sure now ) DH said he was 110% back to feeling normal. His other stitch fell out around 10 days after, i believe (somewhere in there, sorry i really should have updated as it happened). The first stitch fell out around 6 days post Vasectomy (i think i just remember it fell out much sooner than the other) Anyways, DH is totally and 100% back to normal. He can run, walk, pick the kids up, play basketball, etc comfortably and normally since about 14 days post op. He was in the clear about a week to 10 days after it, but we just wanted to play it safe.

He has his first follow up appt in two days. I think the doctor will just look things over and make sure it healed well. I dont think this one is a test, but im not certain. At any rate, he is totally himself and doing amazing! He (and I) are still very happy we went this route. The first few days are not a walk in the park, but really compared to the female getting tubes tied/burned, the healing and procedure itself is much much easier on the man for a vasectomy than say a tubal on a woman. Im super happy with it, so far, and DH is too. I would totally and completly recommend a vasectomy to any of you couples that *know* you are done with the baby maker.

 

[Mummyxofx2]

My partner is in the process of gettin this done. He has his first appointment in a few weeks for consultation. He is worried about not working because he don't get paid for the days he dot work and he is a labourer so definitely won't be able to work for at least a week. I will show him your story tonight so he knows what's going to happen.

 

[Guppy051708]

Best of luck to him!
Yes, he probably will not be able to go back to work as quickly as my DH since mine has an office job and your is phyiscal labor. I dont know what your DHs work schedule is like, but if he gets weekends off i would DEF make sure he schedules it for a friday, at least then thats less time he has to take off.

 

[Mummyxofx2]

Yeah we are hoping to schedule it for either a Thursday or Friday. And waiting until I'm back at work in a few weeks so we still have income for the 1-2 weeks he may need off. It took us a lot of effort to get his done as his doctor is a massive twat and tried to talk him out of it. Told him a heap of lies about cost and said that its classed as a cosmetic procedure so would cost us $6000 and said its much easier for me to be done and that no man should have it done =0

 

[bubbles123]

Thanks for this. We were considering it for my OH but the NHS (we are in UK) advise there is a 1 in 10 chance of long term pain, even if the procedure is performed perfectly and the man rests well afterwards. So we are holding off for the moment but it's good to hear positive stories.