Our Christmas present is gone =(

[nkbapbt]

I have only posted here twice, once to announce we found out Christmas eve we were pregnant, and another time in someone else's post. Im posting now to say that on Thursday I was feeling a bit "off" I went to the doctor already knowing the baby was gone, knowing in my heart. The doctor did an internal and said there was growth and everything felt ok, but sent us for an ultrasound just in case. The next day we went, and I knew from the amount of time the tech was taking and not saying much my horrible gut feeling was right. The doctor came in and looked, then just said "get dressed I have to make a call". He came back and said there was no heart beat and the baby had not grown since our first ultrasound where we saw a heartbeat and were told we were 7 weeks and 5 days.


I went yesterday for my d&c and now I just feel so empty and lost inside. Im mad at myself and angry with my spouse for no real reason. I just want to hide and be alone.

The baby was a surprise but a wonderful and wanted one.

My bf says we can try again ASAP, and I want too. But Im so scared it will happen again.

I just want to wake up and find out this isnt real.

 

[leeanne]

I am awfully sorry to hear about your loss. Please take good care of yourself!

 

[Vickie]

So sorry to hear of your loss

 

[Samantha675]

I am so so sorry hun. It is ok to be angry, it is part of feeling loss.

 

[miel]

i am very sorry. my thoughts are with you.

 

[Samo]

so sorry for your loss, dear.

 

[suzan]

am very sorry
Same thing happened to me.
I hope u get better

 

[doctordeesmrs]

So sorry hun.

 

[nkbapbt]

Thank you all for the support. It makes it numb the pain a little knowing Im not alone in this. And having others to talk too who have been through it.

I feel like such a fool. We got so ahead of ourselves and excited that we basically have everything for the baby. And now they are gone. I cant bare to look at it, and I cant bare to get rid of it.

I want to try again asap, but I just cant go through this again.

 

[Rumpskin]

Hello lovely

I am sorry to hear your news. Sadly, there have been alot of ladies on B&B, including myself, that have recently miscarried. We know what you are going through.

I am 4 weeks on and I am not quite ready to 'start again' emotionally although I still want a child desperately.

I am taking each day at a time and see what life throws at me.

Have you spoken to your OH about how you feel? I guess he must be feeling tearful too?

Sending you a huge hug and hope you feel better soon. xxx

 

[honeybunch2k7]

First of all, I'm very sorry for your loss.

I went yesterday for my d&c and now I just feel so empty and lost inside. Im mad at myself and angry with my spouse for no real reason. I just want to hide and be alone.

The baby was a surprise but a wonderful and wanted one.

My bf says we can try again ASAP, and I want too. But Im so scared it will happen again.

I just want to wake up and find out this isnt real.

Do you feel like he isn't grieving enough? That's how I feel towards my OH.

 

[toot]

ah honey i am so so sorry for your lose, I know how you feel i had a m/c in Oct. Only you can decide when it is time to start ttc again. My doctor said that I would have to wait till I got my period first then after that we could ttc when we were ready, my prayers are with you and your bf.

 

[maddiwatts19]

Aww hun! so sorry for you! unfotunately, this happens to lots of us! Its not fair, but it happens! Take care of yourself xxxx

 

[nkbapbt]

First of all, I'm very sorry for your loss.



Do you feel like he isn't grieving enough? That's how I feel towards my OH.

Honestly I dont know why I was angry, its gone now. But it wasnt because he was not grieving enough, he has been so upset and so supportive. He has been all I could ask for and more. He is taking us on a vacation to just get us back on track. I think it was mostly just emotion I couldnt deal with and he was the person I was around the most, so he took the brunt of it. Which wasn't fair of me.

Im so sorry for your loss as well. Its so hard, I wish no one had to go through it. And there is just nothing that anyone can say to make it hurt any less.

 

[AS1]

Hi Firstly can I say I am very sorry for your loss.....

My story is very similiar to yours and I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. My husband and I too found out I was pregnant on Christmas eve and like you it was a nice surprise. I had a missed miscarriage where we went for the scan at 9weeks 4 days and there was no foetal heartbeat - I had no bleeding or loss of pregnancy symptoms. I had my d&c last thursday and felt very alone and also very angry with my husband even though he hadn't done anything. My husband has been fantastic and very supportive but he has not shown any emotion he has been able to do normal things like go to work which I resent while I am stuck at home. I just feel that this is a stage some women may go through and it just takes time to deal with things. My sister and my mum have both suffered miscarriages and have been very supportive but none of this can take away the feeling of loneliness I have felt for the past week.

Hopefully like me you can take some time out and get yourself back to normal emotionally and physically - I am also taking a holiday and trying to take advantage of my freedom for a little longer until I feel ready to try and conceive again.

I hope you have a nice vacation.....let me know how you are getting along and maybe we can help each other oversome the loneliness of this whole experience.

xx