DMG83
Mum to 1 beautiful girl
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The soundtrack to baby Eden's birth:
My waters broke at 7am on Tuesday 1st November when I was lay in bed, there was no big gush like in the movies, just a trickle but when I went to the bathroom I knew there was something different to just the watery discharge and plug loss I'd had for the past two days. I called DH and told him I thought something had happened, then I went into the bedroom, burst out crying for 5 minutes then text the mw to ask her what she thought. She told me to go to L&D to get checked over, we weren't sure at all that it was my waters so DH went to work and I went to L&D with my niece.
We were kept waiting for 45 minutes before we were even seen and the mw was adamant that my waters hadn't gone and that it was just discharge. I had an internal and I was right, my waters had gone!
which was fairly obvious when I got off the bed and had leaked everywhere 
My cervix was closed and posterior and LO was only 2/5's engaged
I was told not to have a bath until I was in established labour as I was only having "period pains" and they felt these weren't contractions and that the risk of infection passing to LO would increase if I had a bath and then had to be induced. I was given an induction time of 8am the next day if I hadn't gone into labour on my own.
I went with my niece to waitrose and we stocked up on lots of food and snacks - I was so worried walking around the aisles because I could feel my waters slowly trickling and the mw had said that as LO was only 2/5's engaged she was acting as a plug and she might move and I'd gush everywhere
We got home around 1pm and started cleaning the house like a mad woman, doing laundry, dishes etc. By 3o clock the contractions were much stronger so I rang DH to come home from work and sat on my ball with a hot water bottle down the back of my trousers as my back was aching and started timing my contractions. They were coming between 5-7minutes apart and lasting 30-40 seconds so niece got my TENS machine together and set it up for me
DH arrived home around 4pm, my contractions were down to 4mins 30secs and lasting 45-60seconds so we rang L&D and they told us to come in. Packed everything together and set off for the hospital.
When we arrived I was put on monitoring to check my contractions and LO's heartbeat. We ended up on monitoring for 2 hours as they weren't happy that LO had shown enough activity and accelerations on her heartbeat monitor. When they were happy with LO's heartbeat they told me I wasn't actually having labour contractions yet. The pain was mainly in my back and lower abdomen and felt at this point like very strong period pains that were totally manageable.
When I had my internal at 7pm I was nearly fully effaced but only 2cms dilated so was sent home and told not to have a bath still as I still wasn't in labour. The consultant came in to see me and told me to come back in for more monitoring in 3hours time to check on LO as the heartrate had taken so long for them to be happy with. I had to have a 2nd internal from the consultant because the mw felt a lump on LO's head which they said was because she was being squeezed through my cervix and it had coned her head a little..
When I got up off the bed and started walking out to the car my contractions got much stronger. We drove the 30 minutes back home and my contractions were getting closer and closer together in the car. Walked in the door and leaned on my birthing ball for 3 contractions, DH tried to force feed me some toast which nearly made me sick, I went to the toilet and there was a lot of blood on my pad. I told DH I was sure there was something wrong and that I was in proper labour but he wasn't convinced because the hospital had said I wasn't.
So I made him ring L&D again and tell them about the loss, they said it was because they'd irritated my cervix by giving me an internal but that I could come back in anyway because I needed more monitoring. DH tried to put me off a little bit but I wasn't having any of it
So we got back in the car and went back to the hospital. My niece offered to stay at home at this point and walk the dogs, they were quite distressed by the coming & going and me lying on my birthing ball so we thought it was best if she stayed with them.
When we arrived back at the hospital the nurse asked how frequent my contractions were and I said they were coming anything from on top of each other up to 2mins apart and lasting about a minute and she replied with "well then it can't be labour because contractions aren't like that". So I got plugged back up to the monitor again..
My mw was a very big woman and she was being so unbelievably rude to DH & I.. I was monitored for 30 minutes and she came back in, this time LO's heartrate was too active and she couldn't get a baseline rate for her heartbeat
so I was left plugged up to the monitor for 2 hours in total again. All the while the mw would keep returning to the room, telling me to move over in the bed and sitting on half my bed so I was lay on my back squashed on half a trolley 
The contractions were coming really regularly by this point and as they got stronger I asked the mw if I was in labour yet and she just laughed and said absolutely not. A few minutes later I got a really strong contraction and said to DH that they were getting stronger and she told DH that I had no choice but to have Pethidine because I "wouldn't be able to cope with true labour" and that there are "no pain relief choices other than pethidine for people with a low threshold for pain" and that "everyones pain thresholds are different" and that mine was "obviously very low"
She didn't seem to understand that I wasn't in pain from the contractions but did have backache that was hurting but it was the fact that she kept saying I wasn't in labour that was worrying me.
DH had to tell her no that we didn't want pethidine 3 times I was about to break down because I thought there was no way I would be able to cope if I wasn't in labour already. I wasn't feeling any pain in my stomach as I was concentrating on each contraction feeling like a positive surge to bring LO out but the pain in my back was getting worse and she wouldn't let me move off the bed.. We had our relaxation music on and Somewhere over the rainbow playing on a loop which was so calming
She asked me where this "pain" I could feel was (with a roll of her eyes) and I said it was all in my back and lower abdomen and she told me categorically that that was merely the baby engaging and that most women experience that prior to labour and don't find it painful.
I asked again if I could have a bath (I was desperate for one at this point and was refused again). She told me she'd give me a "quick internal" and that I could go home again or go have some pethidine.
I had my internal and suddenly everything changed. The mw's eyes nearly popped out her head and she said "well the bad news is you can't have any pethidine, but the good news is you are 7, well, no, 8 cms dilated, we need to get you to the delivery room right now"...
I couldn't believe what she was saying, DH just looked at her stunned, looked at me and we both burst out crying. It was such a huge relief.. She'd been telling me all that time I'd never cope with the pain when all I wanted to do was get off my back and I'd been in labour the entire time!
We got rushed down to the delivery suite really quickly and I got given G&A to use. The relief was just unbelievable as soon as I stood up, the pain in my back eased and I just felt a complete renewal of energy
We put our music back on and I laboured for the next 2 hours stood up leaning against DH and just hugged him through each contraction using the G&A occassionally on bigger surges
At midnight I got checked and was 10cms dilated but still had a "lip" of cervix blocking LO's way so I laboured the next hour lay down, at 1am the mw emptied my bladder for me and at the same time did something with that last piece of cervix which was the first bit of real "pain" that I'd had the entire time but shortly after I got the urge to push.
I'd already stopped with the G&A by this point and DH told me the mw was telling me I could push as soon as I felt the urge. I don't really know how to explain the next stage because I wasn't really aware of anything going on around me, I was totally focussed on pushing LO out and absorbed with the hypnobirthing techniques and relaxation music. DH was holding my hands whenever I felt the urge to push and he was the only person I was aware of that was in the room with me at all, although I didn't dare look at him because I knew that if I did I would crumble and say I couldn't do it and ask him to rescue me
DH asked the MW what time she thought the baby would arrive and she said 2/2.30am at the latest and we'd have our baby and it entirely focused me.
Hand on heart it felt like I'd been pushing about 10 minutes and I remember them saying I could have "another" hour, they were telling me that baby was a fingertips width away from crowning and she had a full head of dark brown hair.. I couldn't believe it and DH said I kept asking them over and over if she really had hair. DH has had to fill in all my blanks about the pushing stage as it all felt like a dream at the time and lots happened that I wasn't aware of (so I'm guessing the hypnobirthing worked well then!!). DH said there was no yelling or screaming and shouting, just some "very animal" noises when I was pushing.
At 3am a doctor (aka Pretty Blonde Lady Doctor) came in and DH said at this point there were 3 mw's with me in the room as well
she asked DH if I could be given a drip to increase the strength of my contractions and asked him if I did lots of aerobics/horseriding/pilates as I appeared to be holding on tightly to LO after every push so she wasn't descending any further.
I remember pretty blonde lady doctor repeating my name over and over and over in between a surge until I looked at her and focused on her, she told me that I just had to push LO around the last corner and she'd be here and that I could have another half hour to push her out. I asked her if I needed an epidural and she said that there was no reason for me to have any pain relief as I was "doing it already" all by myself. She also told me not to let any energy escape by making noise and to channel it all in to pushing out LO..
What felt like 10 minutes later the senior doctor/surgeon came in to examine me, at this point I became fully aware of everyone that was in the room for the first time, I asked DH what the time was and he said 4am.. I'd been pushing for 3 hours and she hadn't come out and it was time for intervention.
On my next surge the doctor gave me an incredibly painful internal - the second time I'd felt true unbearable pain throughout the entire labour - he wrapped his entire hand around LO's head and it HURT! DH said I sounded possessed when I told him "you're huuuuuuuurting me" in a gutteral animal deep voice
But his face said it all when I looked at him, he just looked at the MW's and shook his head and walked out. Pretty blonde lady doctor then explained to me that LO was facing the wrong way and had her chin up instead of tucked under and that there was no way I could birth her on my own The mw's hadn't been able to tell that she was facing the wrong way or that her chin was up and she would never come out like that and I shouldn't have been left to push for so long as she was completely stuck but I'm glad they did try to let me because otherwise I'd have felt like I'd failed at trying I think..
The room then filled with staff, I had to sign for everything regards c-section/anaesthetic etc. and the next few contractions were the most painful ever
I remember thinking 'ok i'm having a spinal now so just get through one more contraction' but obviously it takes longer than that to set the spinal up!
I had my next few contractions sat upright on the theatre trolley using G&A whilst trying to stay still so they could administer the spinal. It took them 6 attempts to get the spinal in the right place but finally they got it in.
We had refused to allow a forceps delivery as we weren't prepared to risk the trauma to LO and I opted for a c-section delivery if required instead. The surgeon gave me an episiotomy and turned LO so that I could try to push her out one more time. We agreed to try ventuose help as the surgeon said that if she couldn't come out she would have to be forceped back up via c-section as she had descended so far.
They told me when my next contraction was building and told me I had the one chance to push her out and to push with all I had.. Every single member of staff and DH were chanting and yelling at me to push. I had no idea if I was pushing or not but I just pushed all my energy down towards my chest in the hope it would keep going and push in the right direction. The surgeon said "yes yes yes, one more push" and on my next contraction I pushed out my gorgeous princess
It took them 45 minutes to do my stitches, LO had to be put under the heater for 20 minutes because she was so small and they had to do all their checks but they let me have her for skin to skin because I kept complaining and was getting really upset that she wasn't with me She also had hugs off DH whilst I was finished up being monitored then we went back to the delivery suite and we had skin to skin for 5 hours whilst my spinal wore off and had our first feed for 45 minutes
So all in all I pushed for 3 hours and 17minutes before the spinal kicked in and LO was born with a full head of hair at 4.44am on Wednesday 2nd November 2011 weighing a tiny 6lbs 7oz I lost 400ml of blood and we were told afterwards that LO had a very short umbilical cord too so that was another factor that had gone against us.
The staff were all fantastic and told me they were so proud of me and that I truly deserved to push my LO out and that I should be proud for staying so calm and doing it drug free until it became an emergency. I go through moments where I'm really proud of myself and then others when I feel like I failed my LO but I'm positive for any future pregnancies we have and although it was hard going it wasn't a traumatic experience and was a really empowering and beautiful experience for the most part
DH is head over heels in love, my princess just grows more beautiful with every passing day
I would never have been able to get through all those hours if it hadn't been for the hypnobirthing and we will definitely have a hypnobirth next time. Even when the labour became an emergency the entire thing was totally relaxed and calm and LO was born into as relaxed an atmosphere as we could get given the circumstances. And all our wishes for skin to skin and alone time were listened to.. we feel very blessed
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_DKWlrA24k&ob=av2n
My waters broke at 7am on Tuesday 1st November when I was lay in bed, there was no big gush like in the movies, just a trickle but when I went to the bathroom I knew there was something different to just the watery discharge and plug loss I'd had for the past two days. I called DH and told him I thought something had happened, then I went into the bedroom, burst out crying for 5 minutes then text the mw to ask her what she thought. She told me to go to L&D to get checked over, we weren't sure at all that it was my waters so DH went to work and I went to L&D with my niece.
We were kept waiting for 45 minutes before we were even seen and the mw was adamant that my waters hadn't gone and that it was just discharge. I had an internal and I was right, my waters had gone!
which was fairly obvious when I got off the bed and had leaked everywhere My cervix was closed and posterior and LO was only 2/5's engagedI was told not to have a bath until I was in established labour as I was only having "period pains" and they felt these weren't contractions and that the risk of infection passing to LO would increase if I had a bath and then had to be induced. I was given an induction time of 8am the next day if I hadn't gone into labour on my own.
I went with my niece to waitrose and we stocked up on lots of food and snacks - I was so worried walking around the aisles because I could feel my waters slowly trickling and the mw had said that as LO was only 2/5's engaged she was acting as a plug and she might move and I'd gush everywhere
We got home around 1pm and started cleaning the house like a mad woman, doing laundry, dishes etc. By 3o clock the contractions were much stronger so I rang DH to come home from work and sat on my ball with a hot water bottle down the back of my trousers as my back was aching and started timing my contractions. They were coming between 5-7minutes apart and lasting 30-40 seconds so niece got my TENS machine together and set it up for me
DH arrived home around 4pm, my contractions were down to 4mins 30secs and lasting 45-60seconds so we rang L&D and they told us to come in. Packed everything together and set off for the hospital.
When we arrived I was put on monitoring to check my contractions and LO's heartbeat. We ended up on monitoring for 2 hours as they weren't happy that LO had shown enough activity and accelerations on her heartbeat monitor. When they were happy with LO's heartbeat they told me I wasn't actually having labour contractions yet. The pain was mainly in my back and lower abdomen and felt at this point like very strong period pains that were totally manageable.
When I had my internal at 7pm I was nearly fully effaced but only 2cms dilated so was sent home and told not to have a bath still as I still wasn't in labour. The consultant came in to see me and told me to come back in for more monitoring in 3hours time to check on LO as the heartrate had taken so long for them to be happy with. I had to have a 2nd internal from the consultant because the mw felt a lump on LO's head which they said was because she was being squeezed through my cervix and it had coned her head a little..
When I got up off the bed and started walking out to the car my contractions got much stronger. We drove the 30 minutes back home and my contractions were getting closer and closer together in the car. Walked in the door and leaned on my birthing ball for 3 contractions, DH tried to force feed me some toast which nearly made me sick, I went to the toilet and there was a lot of blood on my pad. I told DH I was sure there was something wrong and that I was in proper labour but he wasn't convinced because the hospital had said I wasn't.
So I made him ring L&D again and tell them about the loss, they said it was because they'd irritated my cervix by giving me an internal but that I could come back in anyway because I needed more monitoring. DH tried to put me off a little bit but I wasn't having any of it
So we got back in the car and went back to the hospital. My niece offered to stay at home at this point and walk the dogs, they were quite distressed by the coming & going and me lying on my birthing ball so we thought it was best if she stayed with them.
When we arrived back at the hospital the nurse asked how frequent my contractions were and I said they were coming anything from on top of each other up to 2mins apart and lasting about a minute and she replied with "well then it can't be labour because contractions aren't like that". So I got plugged back up to the monitor again..
My mw was a very big woman and she was being so unbelievably rude to DH & I.. I was monitored for 30 minutes and she came back in, this time LO's heartrate was too active and she couldn't get a baseline rate for her heartbeat
so I was left plugged up to the monitor for 2 hours in total again. All the while the mw would keep returning to the room, telling me to move over in the bed and sitting on half my bed so I was lay on my back squashed on half a trolley The contractions were coming really regularly by this point and as they got stronger I asked the mw if I was in labour yet and she just laughed and said absolutely not. A few minutes later I got a really strong contraction and said to DH that they were getting stronger and she told DH that I had no choice but to have Pethidine because I "wouldn't be able to cope with true labour" and that there are "no pain relief choices other than pethidine for people with a low threshold for pain" and that "everyones pain thresholds are different" and that mine was "obviously very low"
She didn't seem to understand that I wasn't in pain from the contractions but did have backache that was hurting but it was the fact that she kept saying I wasn't in labour that was worrying me. DH had to tell her no that we didn't want pethidine 3 times
I was about to break down because I thought there was no way I would be able to cope if I wasn't in labour already. I wasn't feeling any pain in my stomach as I was concentrating on each contraction feeling like a positive surge to bring LO out but the pain in my back was getting worse and she wouldn't let me move off the bed.. We had our relaxation music on and Somewhere over the rainbow playing on a loop which was so calmingShe asked me where this "pain" I could feel was (with a roll of her eyes) and I said it was all in my back and lower abdomen and she told me categorically that that was merely the baby engaging and that most women experience that prior to labour and don't find it painful.
I asked again if I could have a bath (I was desperate for one at this point and was refused again). She told me she'd give me a "quick internal" and that I could go home again or go have some pethidine.
I had my internal and suddenly everything changed. The mw's eyes nearly popped out her head and she said "well the bad news is you can't have any pethidine, but the good news is you are 7, well, no, 8 cms dilated, we need to get you to the delivery room right now"...
I couldn't believe what she was saying, DH just looked at her stunned, looked at me and we both burst out crying. It was such a huge relief.. She'd been telling me all that time I'd never cope with the pain when all I wanted to do was get off my back and I'd been in labour the entire time!
We got rushed down to the delivery suite really quickly and I got given G&A to use. The relief was just unbelievable as soon as I stood up, the pain in my back eased and I just felt a complete renewal of energy
We put our music back on and I laboured for the next 2 hours stood up leaning against DH and just hugged him through each contraction using the G&A occassionally on bigger surges
At midnight I got checked and was 10cms dilated but still had a "lip" of cervix blocking LO's way so I laboured the next hour lay down, at 1am the mw emptied my bladder for me and at the same time did something with that last piece of cervix which was the first bit of real "pain" that I'd had the entire time but shortly after I got the urge to push.
I'd already stopped with the G&A by this point and DH told me the mw was telling me I could push as soon as I felt the urge. I don't really know how to explain the next stage because I wasn't really aware of anything going on around me, I was totally focussed on pushing LO out and absorbed with the hypnobirthing techniques and relaxation music. DH was holding my hands whenever I felt the urge to push and he was the only person I was aware of that was in the room with me at all, although I didn't dare look at him because I knew that if I did I would crumble and say I couldn't do it and ask him to rescue me
DH asked the MW what time she thought the baby would arrive and she said 2/2.30am at the latest and we'd have our baby and it entirely focused me.
Hand on heart it felt like I'd been pushing about 10 minutes and I remember them saying I could have "another" hour, they were telling me that baby was a fingertips width away from crowning and she had a full head of dark brown hair.. I couldn't believe it and DH said I kept asking them over and over if she really had hair. DH has had to fill in all my blanks about the pushing stage as it all felt like a dream at the time and lots happened that I wasn't aware of (so I'm guessing the hypnobirthing worked well then!!). DH said there was no yelling or screaming and shouting, just some "very animal" noises when I was pushing.
At 3am a doctor (aka Pretty Blonde Lady Doctor) came in and DH said at this point there were 3 mw's with me in the room as well
she asked DH if I could be given a drip to increase the strength of my contractions and asked him if I did lots of aerobics/horseriding/pilates as I appeared to be holding on tightly to LO after every push so she wasn't descending any further.I remember pretty blonde lady doctor repeating my name over and over and over in between a surge until I looked at her and focused on her, she told me that I just had to push LO around the last corner and she'd be here and that I could have another half hour to push her out. I asked her if I needed an epidural and she said that there was no reason for me to have any pain relief as I was "doing it already" all by myself. She also told me not to let any energy escape by making noise and to channel it all in to pushing out LO..
What felt like 10 minutes later the senior doctor/surgeon came in to examine me, at this point I became fully aware of everyone that was in the room for the first time, I asked DH what the time was and he said 4am.. I'd been pushing for 3 hours and she hadn't come out and it was time for intervention.
On my next surge the doctor gave me an incredibly painful internal - the second time I'd felt true unbearable pain throughout the entire labour - he wrapped his entire hand around LO's head and it HURT! DH said I sounded possessed when I told him "you're huuuuuuuurting me" in a gutteral animal deep voice
But his face said it all when I looked at him, he just looked at the MW's and shook his head and walked out. Pretty blonde lady doctor then explained to me that LO was facing the wrong way and had her chin up instead of tucked under and that there was no way I could birth her on my own
The mw's hadn't been able to tell that she was facing the wrong way or that her chin was up and she would never come out like that and I shouldn't have been left to push for so long as she was completely stuck but I'm glad they did try to let me because otherwise I'd have felt like I'd failed at trying I think..The room then filled with staff, I had to sign for everything regards c-section/anaesthetic etc. and the next few contractions were the most painful ever
I remember thinking 'ok i'm having a spinal now so just get through one more contraction' but obviously it takes longer than that to set the spinal up! I had my next few contractions sat upright on the theatre trolley using G&A whilst trying to stay still so they could administer the spinal. It took them 6 attempts to get the spinal in the right place but finally they got it in.
We had refused to allow a forceps delivery as we weren't prepared to risk the trauma to LO and I opted for a c-section delivery if required instead. The surgeon gave me an episiotomy and turned LO so that I could try to push her out one more time. We agreed to try ventuose help as the surgeon said that if she couldn't come out she would have to be forceped back up via c-section as she had descended so far.
They told me when my next contraction was building and told me I had the one chance to push her out and to push with all I had.. Every single member of staff and DH were chanting and yelling at me to push. I had no idea if I was pushing or not but I just pushed all my energy down towards my chest in the hope it would keep going and push in the right direction. The surgeon said "yes yes yes, one more push" and on my next contraction I pushed out my gorgeous princess
It took them 45 minutes to do my stitches, LO had to be put under the heater for 20 minutes because she was so small and they had to do all their checks but they let me have her for skin to skin because I kept complaining and was getting really upset that she wasn't with me
She also had hugs off DH whilst I was finished up being monitored then we went back to the delivery suite and we had skin to skin for 5 hours whilst my spinal wore off and had our first feed for 45 minutes So all in all I pushed for 3 hours and 17minutes before the spinal kicked in and LO was born with a full head of hair at 4.44am on Wednesday 2nd November 2011 weighing a tiny 6lbs 7oz
I lost 400ml of blood and we were told afterwards that LO had a very short umbilical cord too so that was another factor that had gone against us. The staff were all fantastic and told me they were so proud of me and that I truly deserved to push my LO out and that I should be proud for staying so calm and doing it drug free until it became an emergency. I go through moments where I'm really proud of myself and then others when I feel like I failed my LO but I'm positive for any future pregnancies we have and although it was hard going it wasn't a traumatic experience and was a really empowering and beautiful experience for the most part
DH is head over heels in love, my princess just grows more beautiful with every passing day
I would never have been able to get through all those hours if it hadn't been for the hypnobirthing and we will definitely have a hypnobirth next time. Even when the labour became an emergency the entire thing was totally relaxed and calm and LO was born into as relaxed an atmosphere as we could get given the circumstances. And all our wishes for skin to skin and alone time were listened to.. we feel very blessed
You did so well and should be so proud. 
xxx
I might be slightly biased though 
