overwhelming fear of having another child

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by ProudMum, Nov 20, 2011.

  1. ProudMum

    ProudMum Well-Known Member

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    Its been agreed an elective section may be better since I have developed a fear of childbirth but now I have started to worry about the surgery too...

    The fear is overwhelming and I feel I cant cope with it...

    I see the consultant Tuesday but I dont know what to say to her. I have had 2 children already, why do I feel so scared (though I did have a traumatic second birth) I really feel I cant do it at all... whether it be vaginally or a csection.

    The hospital stay scares me- the birth.... everything.

    I cant do it...I just cant :(
     
  2. ashley_gee89

    ashley_gee89 Mummy of 3.

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    Oh hunni :( clearly its the traumatic 2nd birth that has gotten you so scared this time.. Take deep breaths and think of AFTER when you get to hold your perfect baby and stare into his perfect newborn eyes. I know its easier said than done but try to keep busy and push it to the back of your mind, we all worry when we think about things too much and it never turns out as bad as we expected. You will be fine, baby will be fine, think of the cuddles!x
     
  3. ProudMum

    ProudMum Well-Known Member

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    I have tried to stay calm, I have tried looking at the positives but all I keep thinking about is either dying, the drs finding something wrong with me and the need to rush out of the hospital....

    Im terrified of hospitals- leaving my 2 boys is going to kill me. I cant see passed leaving my 2 boys whether it'd be to meet my newborn son or not.. I simply cannot see that far ahead. Its as though its not real and Im about to endure a terrible nightmare.
     
  4. ashley_gee89

    ashley_gee89 Mummy of 3.

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    Oh wow :( sounds like you need to speak to your consultant again.. Would it make you feel any better if you were knocked out during the section? Thats an option. Sending hugs.x
     
  5. heaven

    heaven Mommy of 2 Beautiful Girl

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    You should get a doula, and an acupuncturist there with you at the birth. They can both help you manage your fears and help to keep you calm and focused.
     
  6. BeachComber

    BeachComber Well-Known Member

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    I agree on maybe having a doula present hon to help you. That is what they are there for. Also, could someone bring your other children to the hospital so that you can see them before and right after the section? That is what my family does and it REALLY helps me to know that they are right there and I can see them right after the surgery is over.

    :hugs::hugs:
     
  7. franny_k

    franny_k Mummy to Grace and Jude

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    When is your section booked for? I've got a Natal Hypnotherapy CD which is about preparing mentally for a C section. I feel OK with the op so I'd be happy to send it to you (free!) if you wanted it. Just PM me your details. I've found it really beneficial in developing a postive mindset to the operation. x
     
  8. ProudMum

    ProudMum Well-Known Member

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    Thank you so so much for the offer... Mine is booked for Friday...
    I think I would benefit more from the positive stories- so I will definitely be coming to you after your section and asking you question upon question if you dont mind?

    My fears at the moment are awful:cry: so bad its as though I dont want another child (how awful is that?)

    Another thing that saddens me is the fact that this for me will be my last pregnancy- I couldnt go thru this again:cry: im a great mum and I love my kids, its a shame anxiety is able to stop me having any more babies.
    I always wanted a big family- a daughter atleast... now I'll never get that :(
     

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