motherearth23
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The Birth of Samson Oliver Moore
07~17~2013
It was 2AM on Tuesday, July 16th when I realized I couldnt sleep. I was one day away from being 40 weeks pregnant, and was more than ready to meet this little person I had been creating since October 2012. Feeling hungry, I told Josia that I wanted french fries. He grunted and went back to bed promptly, as he had to work in the morning. I started the process of making french fries, and sat down at the computer to play a video game. Fast forward to nearly 5AM, and I realized I needed to get some rest. I had painless Braxton-Hicks contractions all the while, but I had been experiencing them for the past week and paid no attention to any pattern they may have been developing. I laid down and it seemed like I merely closed my eyes before Josias alarm went off for work. I usually get up to pack lunch for him and help him get ready for work. But not that day, I was exhausted! He left for work with very little packed in his lunch, and I fell back asleep. When I woke up at 1PM, I felt no different than normal. I replied to the many texts from friends and family that had begun to routinely ask how I was feeling, and told everyone that I was doing great and everything was normal.
By 1:30, mild cramping started. I had been having very irregular period pain-like cramps all week, and they were very easy to tolerate. I got into the shower, as I normally do after waking up, and paid no attention to the cramping. I had an appointment booked with the midwife at 3PM, and planned to watch TV until then. After the appointment, I planned to drive to Target to pick up some last-minute baby things. Around 2PM, I started feeling odd. I didnt want to lay down, and I felt like pacing. The cramping became stronger, but very tolerable. I thought to myself, maybe I am starting early labor? I got excited to tell Jo when he got home. Then I realized with a slight panic that I should pack the hospital bag now. By 2:30, I was having a hard time concentrating on anything. One of the particularly strong contractions brought tears to my eyes, and I had a moment of fear simply because I was home alone with no one to come help me pack. I had called Josia a few times, and sent him a text letting him know I might be in labor. I regained my composure, finished packing, and made my way to the car. The contractions were stronger now, but still extremely tolerable. To me, they only felt as strong and bad period cramps. Enough to make you stop and instinctively double over, but nothing I couldnt handle. Id had worse. Driving to the hospital alone, I blasted the radio as distraction for myself. It was a short ride, and I will wait for you by Mumford&Sons played. I belted out the chorus to get myself through the contractions.
I arrived at Midcoast medical offices around 3:10PM. Josia called as I was walking through the doors, so I chose to sit outside on the parkbench and talk to him. I told him to meet me at the hospital, and that I was pretty sure I was in labor. I told him to grab a few things I had forgotten, and then we excitedly hung up. I took the elevator that day, which I never do because the midwife office is only on the second floor. When I walked into the office, I had a hard time talking. I stood behind the check in chair, gripping it hard during a contraction and told the nurse/secretary that I thought I was in labor. She found the midwife right away, and she asked me a few questions that I could barely comprehend. The world seemed to have me on autopilot. Nothing was important at that point besides staying calm and finding a peaceful place to birth. I laid still long enough to be checked, and jumped up immediately afterwards since laying down during a contraction literally felt like torture. The midwife surprised me (and herself) when she told me I was already 5 centimeters dilated. I was halfway to birth, and it was nearly 3:30PM. I had only been having cramping for an hour. I had slept through my early labor entirely. They called for a wheelchair to bring me from the offices to the maternity ward. I consented, but ending up walking there as the chair wheeled my bags. I only had to pause twice for a contraction, and simply breathed my way through each one. By that time I had really begun to prepare mentally for the task ahead. I had been listening to Hypnobabies recordings for a few months, and felt prepared to tackle contractions with positive affirmations and peaceful breathing techniques. I was checked into room 511, and had an IV inserted for Penicillin. I was GBS+ for this pregnancy, and consented to preventative antibiotics just in case. The nurse jabbed the wrong vein, and I remember wanting to say something but felt like I couldnt talk. Josia arrived (hallelujah!) and I felt a huge sense of relief and calm wash over me. Now he was here, and I felt like I could begin.
With each contraction I began swaying from side to side. It helped keep me focused. The two nurses and the midwife present confirmed with me that I wanted a water birth. I said yes, and smiled at the thought of that water tub. They told me I would have to go to the other room down the hall for the actual birth, but that I could continue to labor in the room I was in. I requested a birthing ball (large inflatable exercise ball) to sit on, and began bouncing in between contractions, and rolling my hips during contractions. It was at that point that they told me the anesthesiologist was going home for the day and wanted to know if I needed an epidural or other pain relief. I almost laughed, then said send him away melodramatically with a smile. The contractions were painful, but not in the way I had expected. My whole body tensed up with this feeling of tightness and urgency. But it was nothing like the movies depict it. There was no screaming, no cursing, no I cant do this. It was simply my birthing time, and I was in control. My brain could only focus on the task at hand. I am lucky Josia remembered to offer me water, as I was so in tune with the contractions that I kept forgetting I was thirsty. And man oh man was I thirsty. By then, the fluids from the IV started to feel like fire coursing through my veins. I mentioned this to the nurse, and she had the flow turned down. I only had to receive 25 minutes of fluids twice, and I honestly feel like it was the worst part of my labor. I did not watch the clock at all during my labor. At some point though, I decided to try sitting in the bathtub (not the birthing tub) to see if that helped soothe the aching sensation in my hips. The tub was filled, and I got in. I turned on the jacuzzi jets, and laughed so hard when they splashed water into my face from several directions. I think I said something like screw this with a laugh, and turned off the jets. I tried sitting, squatting, and laying in the water but couldnt get comfortable. I think I lasted one contraction in the water before jumping out and going back to my birthing ball. I was in my zone there. Leaning against the hospital bed, wedging my foot against some part near the floor helped me stay still during the contractions. I moved freely in between them, but I found that freezing like a statue when they started helped me meditate through them. I listened to my Hypnobabies soundtracks that I had listened to in the last few months of pregnancy. They helped me visualize my quiet place. During contractions, I pictured a meadow with a giant oak tree with good climbing branches. I was sitting there with my baby, whose face I still could not picture. He was just a little bundle wrapped up safely in my arms. I had found him there in this special, peaceful place. In my mind, we were just taking a break there with each other until it was time to bring him back to my world. It might sound silly or even crazy, but these visualizations kept me mostly pain-free. When I was not visualizing, I used an affirmation to manage the pain. In my head, I would say Breathing in, I am calm. Breathing out, I am open. I would try and relax my jaw as I thought of the word open, and keep it in the shape of an O. Josia sat behind me in an armchair. He drifted off into a nap sometimes, but I was too into my labor to turn around and notice. When I did notice however, I remember yelling at him to wake up. I didnt want to feel alone, and wanted him to share this experience with me. Sometimes it felt good to be held, and sometimes I would yell for nobody to touch me during a contraction. I was raw, and primal. I was a human female giving birth, and I was in control. It was now dark outside, a gradual process that I had not noticed happening. I had not had my cervix checked since my initial check, and I was wondering how much progress I had made. I knew that I wanted as little checking as possible, but at the same time I was so curious. I was waiting for transition, which is said to be the hardest part of labor. It was the point where most women say they want to give up, or that the pain is too great for them to handle. I had not reached this point, or anything close to it. I wondered if I was even progressing at all. Then I remembered to not think this way, and to get back into the zone. No fear, I remembered. I got this. I looked up at the midwife and told her I was ready to move to the birthing tub.
The walk down the hall was awful. I wanted to sit still and rotate my hips on the birthing ball. I knew I wanted to be in the other room, but wished so badly I could just teleport there. I had two contractions in the 40 foot walk there, and stood still during each of them. Finally I made it. The birthing tub was inflated. It was a beautiful color, though I have no idea if it was blue or purple now. They began filling it, which was a slow process. I labored in the same position I had been. At some point, I tried standing up during contractions, but this proved to be too intense for me. Finally, the tub was ready. When I got in, the warm water soothed me immediately. The bottom of the tub was padded, and I naturally assumed a kneeling position that felt very comfortable. Time lost all meaning from here on out. Hours went by like minutes as I tackled the contractions with silence, moaning, and deep breathing. I just did whatever felt right. The midwife was talking to me at certain points, suggesting ways for me to position myself or noises to make. Her words seemed distant, and I just nodded at her suggestions and carried on with my own way of doing things. During intense contractions, I grasped her hand. Josia was behind me in the tub, supporting my weight. The midwife told me at one point that she wanted to check me to be sure I was making progress. I got out of the tub, and almost panicked as the contractions felt much worse with the addition of gravity. It was agony having to lay in that hospital bed for those few seconds. I was at 8 centimeters, and the midwife told me she wanted to break the amniotic sack. I did not want this, but after she spent 5 minutes trying to make her case for it to be done I finally just told her to do it. I was afraid that it would make the contractions more intense and would throw off the wonderful sense of control I had over them. Once my water was broken, I couldnt wait to get back into the tub. I dont remember if my contractions got stronger, but I definitely knew he was going to be coming soon. I got very quiet as I dilated fully, and my midwife was doubting that I was fully dilated. I guess she was used to women screaming or otherwise feeling great pain at this point. I reached down and felt the top of his head. I applied slight pressure to keep him from coming out too fast. The midwife kept asking me if I was ready to push. So far I hadnt pushed whatsoever. I was letting my body do the pushing on its own. I told her no, I wasnt pushing. She kept asking me questions that I could barely comprehend since I was concentrating so hard. A few minutes later I managed to mutter burning. He was crowning at that point, and I did not care about anything else that was going on. My midwife reached down and realized that his head was halfway out. She told me to move onto my back and lay against Josia with my legs up. I felt like crying when she said that. I had pictured giving birth on all fours and lifting my own baby out of the water. Even now I wish I had just refused to move. Nevertheless, I managed to awkwardly flop onto my back. Josia told me recently that he had to use his wrestling moves from high school in order to keep me up. I hated putting my legs up, as it forced a bit of his head out and hurt. They told me to push, which I didnt do. The contractions were pushing him out plenty, and it felt wrong bearing down. Within 3 contractions, his head was completely out, and the midwife yanked the rest of his body out of me and placed him on my chest. Phew, I thought. It felt relieving to finally have him out. I dont even think I looked him over at first, I just held him close to me and breathed. I noticed my IV had started to come out of my hand and I pulled the rest of it out and handed it to a nurse. I had told them to not cut the cord until I gave consent, and they asked after a few minutes if I was ready. I said no. I wanted the placenta to be out before it was cut. The placenta was born about 10 minutes after Samson was. I touched the cord, examining it. After a little while, and some prompting from the midwife, Josia cut the cord. Samson was weighed, measured, swaddled, and given to Josia. I was helped out of the tub and into the hospital bed. Samson was placed on my chest and I clumsily latched him on for the first time ever. I know now that love at first sight is real.
07~17~2013
It was 2AM on Tuesday, July 16th when I realized I couldnt sleep. I was one day away from being 40 weeks pregnant, and was more than ready to meet this little person I had been creating since October 2012. Feeling hungry, I told Josia that I wanted french fries. He grunted and went back to bed promptly, as he had to work in the morning. I started the process of making french fries, and sat down at the computer to play a video game. Fast forward to nearly 5AM, and I realized I needed to get some rest. I had painless Braxton-Hicks contractions all the while, but I had been experiencing them for the past week and paid no attention to any pattern they may have been developing. I laid down and it seemed like I merely closed my eyes before Josias alarm went off for work. I usually get up to pack lunch for him and help him get ready for work. But not that day, I was exhausted! He left for work with very little packed in his lunch, and I fell back asleep. When I woke up at 1PM, I felt no different than normal. I replied to the many texts from friends and family that had begun to routinely ask how I was feeling, and told everyone that I was doing great and everything was normal.
By 1:30, mild cramping started. I had been having very irregular period pain-like cramps all week, and they were very easy to tolerate. I got into the shower, as I normally do after waking up, and paid no attention to the cramping. I had an appointment booked with the midwife at 3PM, and planned to watch TV until then. After the appointment, I planned to drive to Target to pick up some last-minute baby things. Around 2PM, I started feeling odd. I didnt want to lay down, and I felt like pacing. The cramping became stronger, but very tolerable. I thought to myself, maybe I am starting early labor? I got excited to tell Jo when he got home. Then I realized with a slight panic that I should pack the hospital bag now. By 2:30, I was having a hard time concentrating on anything. One of the particularly strong contractions brought tears to my eyes, and I had a moment of fear simply because I was home alone with no one to come help me pack. I had called Josia a few times, and sent him a text letting him know I might be in labor. I regained my composure, finished packing, and made my way to the car. The contractions were stronger now, but still extremely tolerable. To me, they only felt as strong and bad period cramps. Enough to make you stop and instinctively double over, but nothing I couldnt handle. Id had worse. Driving to the hospital alone, I blasted the radio as distraction for myself. It was a short ride, and I will wait for you by Mumford&Sons played. I belted out the chorus to get myself through the contractions.
I arrived at Midcoast medical offices around 3:10PM. Josia called as I was walking through the doors, so I chose to sit outside on the parkbench and talk to him. I told him to meet me at the hospital, and that I was pretty sure I was in labor. I told him to grab a few things I had forgotten, and then we excitedly hung up. I took the elevator that day, which I never do because the midwife office is only on the second floor. When I walked into the office, I had a hard time talking. I stood behind the check in chair, gripping it hard during a contraction and told the nurse/secretary that I thought I was in labor. She found the midwife right away, and she asked me a few questions that I could barely comprehend. The world seemed to have me on autopilot. Nothing was important at that point besides staying calm and finding a peaceful place to birth. I laid still long enough to be checked, and jumped up immediately afterwards since laying down during a contraction literally felt like torture. The midwife surprised me (and herself) when she told me I was already 5 centimeters dilated. I was halfway to birth, and it was nearly 3:30PM. I had only been having cramping for an hour. I had slept through my early labor entirely. They called for a wheelchair to bring me from the offices to the maternity ward. I consented, but ending up walking there as the chair wheeled my bags. I only had to pause twice for a contraction, and simply breathed my way through each one. By that time I had really begun to prepare mentally for the task ahead. I had been listening to Hypnobabies recordings for a few months, and felt prepared to tackle contractions with positive affirmations and peaceful breathing techniques. I was checked into room 511, and had an IV inserted for Penicillin. I was GBS+ for this pregnancy, and consented to preventative antibiotics just in case. The nurse jabbed the wrong vein, and I remember wanting to say something but felt like I couldnt talk. Josia arrived (hallelujah!) and I felt a huge sense of relief and calm wash over me. Now he was here, and I felt like I could begin.
With each contraction I began swaying from side to side. It helped keep me focused. The two nurses and the midwife present confirmed with me that I wanted a water birth. I said yes, and smiled at the thought of that water tub. They told me I would have to go to the other room down the hall for the actual birth, but that I could continue to labor in the room I was in. I requested a birthing ball (large inflatable exercise ball) to sit on, and began bouncing in between contractions, and rolling my hips during contractions. It was at that point that they told me the anesthesiologist was going home for the day and wanted to know if I needed an epidural or other pain relief. I almost laughed, then said send him away melodramatically with a smile. The contractions were painful, but not in the way I had expected. My whole body tensed up with this feeling of tightness and urgency. But it was nothing like the movies depict it. There was no screaming, no cursing, no I cant do this. It was simply my birthing time, and I was in control. My brain could only focus on the task at hand. I am lucky Josia remembered to offer me water, as I was so in tune with the contractions that I kept forgetting I was thirsty. And man oh man was I thirsty. By then, the fluids from the IV started to feel like fire coursing through my veins. I mentioned this to the nurse, and she had the flow turned down. I only had to receive 25 minutes of fluids twice, and I honestly feel like it was the worst part of my labor. I did not watch the clock at all during my labor. At some point though, I decided to try sitting in the bathtub (not the birthing tub) to see if that helped soothe the aching sensation in my hips. The tub was filled, and I got in. I turned on the jacuzzi jets, and laughed so hard when they splashed water into my face from several directions. I think I said something like screw this with a laugh, and turned off the jets. I tried sitting, squatting, and laying in the water but couldnt get comfortable. I think I lasted one contraction in the water before jumping out and going back to my birthing ball. I was in my zone there. Leaning against the hospital bed, wedging my foot against some part near the floor helped me stay still during the contractions. I moved freely in between them, but I found that freezing like a statue when they started helped me meditate through them. I listened to my Hypnobabies soundtracks that I had listened to in the last few months of pregnancy. They helped me visualize my quiet place. During contractions, I pictured a meadow with a giant oak tree with good climbing branches. I was sitting there with my baby, whose face I still could not picture. He was just a little bundle wrapped up safely in my arms. I had found him there in this special, peaceful place. In my mind, we were just taking a break there with each other until it was time to bring him back to my world. It might sound silly or even crazy, but these visualizations kept me mostly pain-free. When I was not visualizing, I used an affirmation to manage the pain. In my head, I would say Breathing in, I am calm. Breathing out, I am open. I would try and relax my jaw as I thought of the word open, and keep it in the shape of an O. Josia sat behind me in an armchair. He drifted off into a nap sometimes, but I was too into my labor to turn around and notice. When I did notice however, I remember yelling at him to wake up. I didnt want to feel alone, and wanted him to share this experience with me. Sometimes it felt good to be held, and sometimes I would yell for nobody to touch me during a contraction. I was raw, and primal. I was a human female giving birth, and I was in control. It was now dark outside, a gradual process that I had not noticed happening. I had not had my cervix checked since my initial check, and I was wondering how much progress I had made. I knew that I wanted as little checking as possible, but at the same time I was so curious. I was waiting for transition, which is said to be the hardest part of labor. It was the point where most women say they want to give up, or that the pain is too great for them to handle. I had not reached this point, or anything close to it. I wondered if I was even progressing at all. Then I remembered to not think this way, and to get back into the zone. No fear, I remembered. I got this. I looked up at the midwife and told her I was ready to move to the birthing tub.
The walk down the hall was awful. I wanted to sit still and rotate my hips on the birthing ball. I knew I wanted to be in the other room, but wished so badly I could just teleport there. I had two contractions in the 40 foot walk there, and stood still during each of them. Finally I made it. The birthing tub was inflated. It was a beautiful color, though I have no idea if it was blue or purple now. They began filling it, which was a slow process. I labored in the same position I had been. At some point, I tried standing up during contractions, but this proved to be too intense for me. Finally, the tub was ready. When I got in, the warm water soothed me immediately. The bottom of the tub was padded, and I naturally assumed a kneeling position that felt very comfortable. Time lost all meaning from here on out. Hours went by like minutes as I tackled the contractions with silence, moaning, and deep breathing. I just did whatever felt right. The midwife was talking to me at certain points, suggesting ways for me to position myself or noises to make. Her words seemed distant, and I just nodded at her suggestions and carried on with my own way of doing things. During intense contractions, I grasped her hand. Josia was behind me in the tub, supporting my weight. The midwife told me at one point that she wanted to check me to be sure I was making progress. I got out of the tub, and almost panicked as the contractions felt much worse with the addition of gravity. It was agony having to lay in that hospital bed for those few seconds. I was at 8 centimeters, and the midwife told me she wanted to break the amniotic sack. I did not want this, but after she spent 5 minutes trying to make her case for it to be done I finally just told her to do it. I was afraid that it would make the contractions more intense and would throw off the wonderful sense of control I had over them. Once my water was broken, I couldnt wait to get back into the tub. I dont remember if my contractions got stronger, but I definitely knew he was going to be coming soon. I got very quiet as I dilated fully, and my midwife was doubting that I was fully dilated. I guess she was used to women screaming or otherwise feeling great pain at this point. I reached down and felt the top of his head. I applied slight pressure to keep him from coming out too fast. The midwife kept asking me if I was ready to push. So far I hadnt pushed whatsoever. I was letting my body do the pushing on its own. I told her no, I wasnt pushing. She kept asking me questions that I could barely comprehend since I was concentrating so hard. A few minutes later I managed to mutter burning. He was crowning at that point, and I did not care about anything else that was going on. My midwife reached down and realized that his head was halfway out. She told me to move onto my back and lay against Josia with my legs up. I felt like crying when she said that. I had pictured giving birth on all fours and lifting my own baby out of the water. Even now I wish I had just refused to move. Nevertheless, I managed to awkwardly flop onto my back. Josia told me recently that he had to use his wrestling moves from high school in order to keep me up. I hated putting my legs up, as it forced a bit of his head out and hurt. They told me to push, which I didnt do. The contractions were pushing him out plenty, and it felt wrong bearing down. Within 3 contractions, his head was completely out, and the midwife yanked the rest of his body out of me and placed him on my chest. Phew, I thought. It felt relieving to finally have him out. I dont even think I looked him over at first, I just held him close to me and breathed. I noticed my IV had started to come out of my hand and I pulled the rest of it out and handed it to a nurse. I had told them to not cut the cord until I gave consent, and they asked after a few minutes if I was ready. I said no. I wanted the placenta to be out before it was cut. The placenta was born about 10 minutes after Samson was. I touched the cord, examining it. After a little while, and some prompting from the midwife, Josia cut the cord. Samson was weighed, measured, swaddled, and given to Josia. I was helped out of the tub and into the hospital bed. Samson was placed on my chest and I clumsily latched him on for the first time ever. I know now that love at first sight is real.
what a extremely beautiful birth story
