pain :(

[lemontree12]

when will this pain go away? i feel so betrayed, i cant believe the man i love and gave 4years to can be so cruel in everyway. how can he already be in a relationship.

im so scared that he wont be in with me while i gave birth. and i will have to do it alone.

do u ever truely get over what these men do to us? i really feel like il never be the same again

 

[Terukki]

Please if you are hurt and need someone to talk to go and talk to a counselor because something as horrible as that needs to be dealt with before you give birth.

 

[lemontree12]

i feel that is something i need to do, in 3months i have went from being in a steady realtionship to being pregnant, made homeless, ditched, him getting into a heppily relationship with a model (looks clearly isnt everything but its a huge dent to the ego) and being told he wants nothing to do with our daughter. i really cant take anymore hurt and pain.

 

[Dezireey]

hey hun, hang in there. i know how you feel and its so, so unfair and unjust as it is much, much harder to get over this than a normal break up. Sometimes my family just say 'forget it, move on, hes a loser' but they didnt make a baby with him did they? A big part of us just wants that loving family unit we always imagined and FOBs have robbed us of that for life. Even finding a great step dad helps in the future but our babbas still wont have their real Daddys because of these utterly selfish morons.

i was going to see a councillor but am so close to birth that i dont want to sit in a chair talking about the sensitive subject in depth bawling my eyes out. Depends if it works for you though, i might visit one after baby is born.

 

[lemontree12]

thank u for your kind words. i really am struggling to deal with all this shit. i dont want to have any more time of work because i have had time off with stress, going to the council to sort of housing and midwife appointments.

i really didnt think life could be so hard at what should be the most amazing time ever.

i dont understand how cruel he is being, but yet his life seems so prefect, hes got a promotion, new girlfriend, there are doing things i wanted to do with him. its all so unfair, while im pregnant and struggling to make it threw the day. how is any of this
fair...

if i knew that he would regret the things he has gone and be so sorry it would be a relief that he has some sort of heart. not that i want him back but just for him to say what he done was wrong, and hurt even alittle bit.

 

[Laura2919]

I'm so sorry hun I haven't been on for a while so I am not sure whats happened.

It does eventually. I split with FOB in September 2011, about 3 weeks later I found out he was seeing his now girlfriend already and although I knew our split was final it still was like a slap in the face that he moved on so quickly, we was together 7 years but it also made me see that he isn't the right person for me. I've moved on with my life to places he could only dream of because yes he has a girflfriend but what else does he have? Nothing, his children will grow up with another role model in their lives because he wasn't man enough to be there.

 

[lemontree12]

have you got another partner?
is he not around for your girls?
how can men do this it is so horrible.

x

 

[lemontree12]

im ok now, i have these huge freak outs when i realise whats happened, then after a while i calm down. i guess this is all part of healing

 

[Laura2919]

No I don't have a partner I am just doing my day to day thing. I've seen someone else but I wasn't feeling like I wanted a partner so it was fun really.
FOB has the girls every other weekend, he doesn't see them through the weeks so he goes 12 days without seeing them expecting that a 2 minute probing phonecall is important, he never asks to see them, doesn't do anything for them, he pays his maintenance money.
He's a born liar and I've learnt my lesson.

 

[lemontree12]

my fob doesnt want to know my daughter, hasnt been to a scan, asked me not throw her in his face, not to turn up to his house with her, because he dont want to feel guilty for his actions.

i hate what he has done

 

[Laura2919]

Disgrace, you are by far better off!! You'll find someone one day who will love you both so much. You got to be happy in the life your in.. It can be hard and sometimes lonely but you've got to think of all the good things, stay positive. xx

 

[lemontree12]

Thank u! This website is a life saver

 

[Dezireey]

It disgusting behaviour isnt it? that it almost needs to be on headline news or you feel the whole world needs to know about this low life. Unfair is the word women most often relate to. Unfair that they can just bugger off like it was nothing, whilst we shoulder all the responsibility. Well I saw something in the papers the other day which the gov may or may not be going ahead with in the UK. It was about charging fathers £200 fines if they dont put their names on birth certs and aknowledge paternity, pay maintenance etc, might be pros and cons to that though so not sure if that law will be passed or not.

Chin up, i was at rock bottom yesterday after FOB's flirting on facebook, now today I was super busy, did more cleaning and nesting and feel better already. I would love it though if he came crawling back one day, only so I could have the pure pleasure of telling him where to stick it! lol

 

[Terukki]

i feel that is something i need to do, in 3months i have went from being in a steady realtionship to being pregnant, made homeless, ditched, him getting into a heppily relationship with a model (looks clearly isnt everything but its a huge dent to the ego) and being told he wants nothing to do with our daughter. i really cant take anymore hurt and pain.

A real man wouldn't leave his girlfriend homeless and pregnant. I was kicked out after I found out my ex boyfriend was cheating on me. He is with that person now, but it's not going to last long cheaters never stay together for long. I'm pregnant and doing it alone. My child deserves way better than father figure then him. Do the same and be happy you have a child that will love you.

 

[Terukki]

It disgusting behaviour isnt it? that it almost needs to be on headline news or you feel the whole world needs to know about this low life. Unfair is the word women most often relate to. Unfair that they can just bugger off like it was nothing, whilst we shoulder all the responsibility. Well I saw something in the papers the other day which the gov may or may not be going ahead with in the UK. It was about charging fathers £200 fines if they dont put their names on birth certs and aknowledge paternity, pay maintenance etc, might be pros and cons to that though so not sure if that law will be passed or not.

Chin up, i was at rock bottom yesterday after FOB's flirting on facebook, now today I was super busy, did more cleaning and nesting and feel better already. I would love it though if he came crawling back one day, only so I could have the pure pleasure of telling him where to stick it! lol

You have a huge point there. I know one day he will feel the guilt and want to come crawling back to me and I hope I get to have the amazing pleasure of telling that dick off. I hope also I will have a REAL MAN to show off too. lol

 

[Terukki]

I do feel better when I get to buy baby stuff and nest. Everything goes away when I do because I'm focusing on the baby.

 

[lemontree12]

Oh I like that sound of that new law! Then he would at least have to met her and look into her eyes and know the only person that should matter is this tiny innocent person! I will look into it!

I honestly want nothing more to do with that man, I could never take him back and the fact he said the other day about us being "friends" makes me laugh, first off how would that work, being friends with the father of my baby, but him
Never seeing her, not much of a friend!! And secondly he only wants me as a "friend" because it clears his conscience!! I would never ever ever be friends with him again! The only thing I ask now that he helps pay for his daughter!

That's one thing I hope for, when his relationship comes crashing down, and now all his friends are beginning to disown him, I hope he comes crawling back!! And I will have the pleasure of telling him to F off!!

Thank u for all the support ladies, Im still having "my world has ended" moments but they are becoming far and few between x

 

[Laura2919]

You're gonna still have days like that but they get less and less and you'll start to enjoy doing things without him around..

 

[Terukki]

Oh I like that sound of that new law! Then he would at least have to met her and look into her eyes and know the only person that should matter is this tiny innocent person! I will look into it!

I honestly want nothing more to do with that man, I could never take him back and the fact he said the other day about us being "friends" makes me laugh, first off how would that work, being friends with the father of my baby, but him
Never seeing her, not much of a friend!! And secondly he only wants me as a "friend" because it clears his conscience!! I would never ever ever be friends with him again! The only thing I ask now that he helps pay for his daughter!

That's one thing I hope for, when his relationship comes crashing down, and now all his friends are beginning to disown him, I hope he comes crawling back!! And I will have the pleasure of telling him to F off!!

Thank u for all the support ladies, Im still having "my world has ended" moments but they are becoming far and few between x

Same here my moments are becoming less and less now and I'm thinking about my future and it starting to form now.

 

[Shezza84uk]

Believe me it gets better with time my story is probably the most deveststing and although I still feel hurt deep inside I've overcome and still recovering more and more everyday. I was with fob for 7 yrs we were best friends for 5 yrs before we got together, I met him at 16 we became close and he joined the army we stayed together while he continued doing what he loves... I got pregnant with my DD he decided distance was a big issue and left he came back saying he was sorry when she was born fast forward to 2010. I realised he was being distant and wanted to control me so I decided I needed to end it he literally bombarded me with I love you's and asked for a chance to prove himself I said ok! he then proposed and set a date for our wedding in 2011 we went ahead and planned everything 3weeks before the wedding he came home from duty to meet the vicar and sort out the registry etc he left to see his mum and called me to say he didn't love me and wanted nothing to do with me so I need to cancel the wedding!

I did and had to pay all the bits for late cancellation I never saw him again for 2 weeks to move his stuff out no explanation given at all 20 mins later he had on his FB status I'm free single and available to all the ladies! As you can imagine I was distraught! I mean how could someone do that and think its ok to destroy his family... After all that I had no contact until September he just turned up at my home I was welcoming as always somehow I already forgave him and my DD was so excited to see him he spent 2 weeks with us and almost slot back into a routine he went away again with work and I saw him again at Christmas end up falling for it again end up getting together but I realised he was happy to keep using me so I told him it was time to make some decisions he confessed he cheated the entire time as he was searching for true love but preferred if he was around to stop me moving on the wedding was all future faking to distract me from leaving I decided it was time to talk to him he said he was happy the way things were I said its time to end it as we were going in constant circles thats befor i knew I was pregnant now here I am pregnant with number 2 and alone again! Hes always supported our daughter but the most communication ive had with him was a mothers day card nothing else not even a phone call to ask how his daughter is!

The thing for me is I believe that life takes us on uphill struggles but you will eventually find your inner peace I had to start from the bottom by accepting the things I've been through allow myself to mourn and reflect cry when I needed and only then I found the peace to start the healing process.

I'm sure there is someone more deserving for all of us allow yourself to feel the pain go through the steps and follow through to your emotional, physical and mental healing process xxx