Painful adult cuddles (slight rant)

[tinymumma]

I mean sex It's really beginning to frustrate me though, OH as well. I seem to be really swollen? I don't even know if that's what it is but it feels like it...
About to get extremely tmi, just a warning, lol.
Upon entry it feel like a knife and for the first minute or so. Last night I couldn't even take the tip! He's quite average in size but it feels like he has a monster! It started in the first tri but has been progressively getting worse :/
I never seem to be able to get excited enough either, which I'm sure doesn't help. I mean, I do. On a daily basis but it's always around 7 ish in the morning and he leaves for work at 4. Considering buying some lube to help with that but it just astounds me as I constantly gush cm, until I need it the most and it turns to the Sahara down there
So what could it be? No matter how relaxed I am it still hurts so badly, almost to the point I can barely enjoy it... Anyone else struggling with this?
He loves it when I'm on top too which is near impossible now with my belly. I thought it was supposed to be one of the best parts of being pregnant?! That amazing libido and knee bucking O's we were all told about seem to be oh, so elusive. Sigh

 

[MgreenM]

1. your labia can and will swell! (asked my OB about that last week...)
2. I too have been really dry. Have thought about lube...no decision really made...plus hubby is a little resistant to anything other than missionary and sometimes it's just too much pressure on my belly.
3. I have had minimal interest in sex since becoming pregnant and despite telling DH that I don't stay aroused for very long, he doesn't change what he does...sigh...but no, it hasn't changed much for me since first semester either.

 

[tinymumma]

Just another joy of pregnancy, then? It's good to know I'm not alone.
You would think our men would be more inclined to make sure we want and enjoy it?! I mean, we're growing their child and as well as having to deal with all the wonderful side effects, we have to give birth too!! Yeesus. But no, we get the cold shoulder, cranky pants when we've been busy cleaning, working, cooking AND growing a baby! Hah, I'd like to see them do all that and then be ready for round two, only half an hour after the first time

 

[junebaby08]

It also has started hurting me, just at first on the outside and inside think its normal,

 

[MgreenM]

Just another joy of pregnancy, then? It's good to know I'm not alone.
You would think our men would be more inclined to make sure we want and enjoy it?! I mean, we're growing their child and as well as having to deal with all the wonderful side effects, we have to give birth too!! Yeesus. But no, we get the cold shoulder, cranky pants when we've been busy cleaning, working, cooking AND growing a baby! Hah, I'd like to see them do all that and then be ready for round two, only half an hour after the first time

My hubby hasn't been too cranky about the sex piece...he just doesn't do well with change...He does try to make sure I enjoy...just doesn't know how and it's an area where he just doesn't seem to think outside the box....I have to give my hubby a lot of credit though! He has been putting up with A LOT of crap from me with the hormones effecting my mood so much! So, I really can't complain! I am very lucky!

 

[MamaLa]

I'm the opposite. It's been like really wet down there during sex. My boyfriend has mentioned it. When we first found out that we were pregnant he told me that we will stop having sex when my bump gets bigger because he'll feel like he's hurting the baby (I don't know why guys think that! ) so I am getting and taking as much as I can. Lol.

 

[N27murray]

I've been having very similar issues tinymum ...we find spooning to work best. Its the only position that doesn't cause me pain. Have you tried that?

 

[tropicsgirl]

I understand...the belly is starting to get in the way and for some reason "on top" has never been my favorite position. I use lube and it helps quite a bit as I've been very dry lately. DH is understanding but I think he worries about our future sex life, especially one the baby is here haha!

 

[hopefulfor1st]

Yup it gets worse and worse the pressure pushes down making you feel smaller down there :/

 

[EmzyJA]

I find it painful. I think some if it for me is psychological, after having my daughter my stitches hadn't been done well and caused me a lot of pain, I had to go for an op to have scar tissue cut out and be restitched. Since then although it's been better I still always find it painful, I think it's because I can't really relax and enjoy it now it's getting much more painful again and it really puts me off. I hate it because my husband has a high sex drive and this problem causes me not to want it at all!! Why would you wanna keep doing something that causes you pain?

 

[Unexpected212]

I feel swollen and uncomfortable too and sometimes it makes me feel like I'm going to wee myself lol.

I really didn't mind sex last time but this time I just can't get into it at all. She moves ALL the time too which really means I can't get in the mood.

 

[Nikko88]

I've previously had secondary vaginism (basically the muscles tighten reflexively making sex painful) from having sex too often when not aroused enough.

Lub is a must for me. As is some finger insertion to warm up and relax everything. Position also has a large impact, from behind or me on top also allows me to control the insertion depth.

Check with your doctor to make sure nothing else is going on. I'd also suggest exploring other ways of being sexual without insertion (snuggling, hand-jobs, oral etc.).

 

[NotNic]

I find it painful. I think some if it for me is psychological, after having my daughter my stitches hadn't been done well and caused me a lot of pain, I had to go for an op to have scar tissue cut out and be restitched. Since then although it's been better I still always find it painful, I think it's because I can't really relax and enjoy it now it's getting much more painful again and it really puts me off. I hate it because my husband has a high sex drive and this problem causes me not to want it at all!! Why would you wanna keep doing something that causes you pain?

I had similar complications and really should have asked about treatment but couldn't bear the idea of it. Now because I'm much wetter than before it really turns me off. It feels like doing it with someone else. We find doing other things without ending up bding much more satisfying for each other especially as I get bigger.

 

[tinymumma]

Pew, so it looks like we're roughly in the same boat. I've spoken to OH about it and he seemed to understand, he even said I do seem really quite swollen. Pretty sure I have a UTI now So I guess a trip to the doctors wouldn't be such a bad idea. It does prove to be a massive mood killer for me that our son barely stops moving :S Just a tad awkward. He does pay me back for disturbing him though, he plays trampoline with my cervix for about half an hour afterwards