i want to thank you all for your kind words that you have expressed to me and my paul , i esp want to thank debbie i know this has been hard on you bringing back lots of memorys i will be forever grateful for the help you have personally given me , i am still trying to get my head around things at the moment and to be honest i dont know if i can go through with termination its such a harsh word and its against my beliefs but i know i should for the medical reasons cause the child would not survive so i guess i have basically answered my own question their also would like to add that the genitals have not formed properly which has made the result of the bladder be big and cause the other kidney problems she said i have a 1-4 chance going by the scan today and thats not even looking at my bloods i must say the cvs was the worst experiance of my life it was fine at first but when it got down to cutting the placenta that was so painfull i jumped and i was told to lie still in a nice way of course , i do hope for a miracle but its very unlikely and the problems that our baby has occurs in boys so if the test comes back as a boy we are calling him jamie , i have seen my gp in a emergency appointment she has given me diazipan to help relax me and help me to sleep i will still be around here guys i feel i belong with you all as we have formed a great friendship over the last few months and i would love it to continue once again im thankful for finding you guys xx