Paranoid, need some reasurance

[JennyG]

Hiya everyone,

I'm 18 weeks tomorrow with my first baby and was wondering if anyone else felt like me.

In all the books and internet papes I've read it says that I will be getting bigger every day and starting to feel some movement. Also that I will start to get some energy back.

Well, I'm still not gaining any weight (which really should be a good thing) and my bump is still only small, I can still fit in my work clothes. I've felt nothing at all, not even a flutter. My energy levels are still at a all time low, getting out of bed is a real struggle.
I'm starting to worry that I'm not really pregnant anymore and that it's all in my head because I'd waited so long (2 years)

Please can I have some reasurance or advice. Should I be bothering my midwife?

 

[goldlion]

Pregnancy is different for everyone. I still have terrible energy levels, they've boosted a bit since I've entered second trimester but are still quite low. I'm constantly fatigued, but think nothing of it. Our bodies are really going through a lot physically and hormonally right now, and it's bound to take some energy out of us.

As for baby movement, I really wasn't sure I was feeling the baby until around 20 weeks. You may be feeling it and not even know it. I found around that when I first started feeling movements it felt just like butterflies when you get anxious, then came the kicks.

I wouldn't worry all too much, you will feel something very soon! Many of the women on here didn't start feeling kicks and whatnot until 20+ weeks.

It most definitely wouldn't hurt to just mention it to your midwife next time you visit with her, it will probably help to reassure you further. But I wouldn't worry about it, you'll soon feel bubs!

 

[Linzi]

The only thing I can say is that every pregnancy is different, some people struggle with sickness and fatigue for a lot longer than others.

I know Im a few weeks behind you, but i barely have a bump and I can fit into most of my work clothes now. But again, everyone is different. Just depends on how you were designed! A lady I work with was pregnant and didnt begin to show until 30 weeks, and when she was full term she still looked tiny, but had a perfectly healthy baby at 8lbs. So I dont think you need to worry about that either.

To be honest, I feel like you a lot of the time. We hadn't been trying for our baby, it just happened and even though Ive seen it twice now on scans, I still don't feel like its real most of the time. I dont think it will sink in until Im holding it for the first time.

I think a lot of the things you've said are quite common... or at least thats the way Ive felt! But Ive found comparing yourself size-wise and symptom-wise wont do you any good, because everyone is so different!

I hope you start to feel a bit better soon Your midwife might be able to reassure you further

xxx

 

[JennyG]

I'm going to try and limit the amount of stuff I read up on, and just try to enjoy my pregnancy more. Your right everyone is different.
But it's so hard because not only have i got the stuff I read to compare myself to, my sister in law is 22 weeks and my Auntie is about 28 weeks so Im forever comparing myself to them.

 

[Linzi]

I know its hard hun but just stick in there! Sure everything will be fine. Did you have a scan yet?

xxx

 

[ColtonsMom]

Dont worry about movement.. if you've read as much as I have you will read more things that say you normally only feel movement around 18 weeks if this isn't your first.. it is usually closer to 22 weeks if its your first child. I didn't feel my first kick until right around then.
Hope everything goes well..

 

[Stef]

Firstly congratulations on your pregnancy

Secondly... You cant go by the books page for page. Every pregnancy is different. I started to get a bump around 16 weeks BUT.... I was still wearing my normal clothes right upuntil after my 20 week scan, It wasnt until I was almost 23 weeks that I could really determine that bubs was kicking. I never got the fluttering feeling people talk about, I was always shattered. Infact I was that tired once my boyfriend took me to the cinema and I feel asleep and that was in the second tri. Pregnancy is tiring, your body is going through some really big changes and your hormones are changing rapidly.

Im sure everything will be fine hun. Don't stress. It cant be long until your 20 week scan??

Xx

 

[JennyG]

We had our first scan on 29th November, it was late as the midwife told us we were due on the 2nd June. Then the lady who did our scan said our due date was 13th May! It was so clear, we were thrilled. Our next one is on 28th Dec. Its silly really that i'm worrying since I had a really good scan not long since. I can't wait for the next one!

 

[Stef]

Im sure everything will be fine hun.

Everbody worries especially when its your first...

I often worry that I have nothing to worry about.

It will be your maternal instincts kicking in. X

 

[Linzi]

We had our first scan on 29th November, it was late as the midwife told us we were due on the 2nd June. Then the lady who did our scan said our due date was 13th May! It was so clear, we were thrilled. Our next one is on 28th Dec. Its silly really that i'm worrying since I had a really good scan not long since. I can't wait for the next one!

Im due on the 2nd of June

Dont really know why I felt the need to share that! haha

xxx

 

[JennyG]

Im due on the 2nd of June

Dont really know why I felt the need to share that! haha

xxx

I'm happy you did, it's nice to know.
2nd June is my husbands birthday. He was relieved that the due date changed it means he doesn't have to share his special day with someone else not that he would have minded all that much if he did!!

 

[Tam]

Right you have to remember that no matter what the books and the internet says, we are all different and so is every pregnancy!

You are still possibly upto 4 weeks away from being able to feel obvious baby movements. As for the energy, being pregnant and having a baby develop inside you is very hard work, then put life on top of that too.......it is not suprising that not all women get their energy back or at least not like before they were pregnant!

Some women do not show obviously with a pregnancy until up to 7 months....then again some women start to show earlier....

Weight gain, some lucky people gain very little, others pile it on (like me)

Everyone is different......the main thing is that you feel well in yourself and your appointments are going well, the scans have been/are OK and the heartbeat is heard and urine tests are OK etc.....as long as all this is OK, then so are you & baby!

Maybe it would be a good idea just to read about the develpment of your baby rather than what YOU should be experiencing too, as it may not be the case at all! x

 

[JennyG]

Thank you everyone. You have all made me feel much better

 

[luckyme225]

Don't worry... I never got my energy back like they say you do. Probably because I'm sleeping less from aches and pains. I remember one of the first things I learned in one of my education classes is that every pregnancy is different. You can have a horrible first pregnancy and go on to have a wonderful next one. This is what I try to keep in mind because some days I don't think I could ever go through this again! LOL!

 

[BurtonBaby]

Everything you are describing sounds normal, as all of the girls have said... All pregnancies vary. I'm almost 24 weeks, I STILL get morning/all day sickness, I still am exhausted daily, and thats from doing very little. And I also went thru a time, right around 18-19 weeks, where I stopped feeling her at all. (even tho before were mostly just little flutters and a few little kicks) I got so nervous. For days until I had a doctors appt, I was so worried that something happened to her, that as soon as we saw our nurse and heard the heartbeat I just started crying out of relief. Try and relax, and enjoy your pregnancy. If you can, rent a doppler online, so you can hear your little ones heartbeat anytime you need reassurance. Hope it gets better!

 

[JennyG]

Hey everyone, guess what felt a flutter for the first time this weekend. I'm soooo happy and even more excited. I'm 19 weeks today and have my next scan on the 28th December. Can't wait to see my little babe again.

I'ts so good sat at my desk doing normal boring stuff then all of a sudden I feel a little nudge. Makes me smile and feel like I've got a secret no one else knows. (even tho i've bored everyone to death about it all

It's made my depression lift a little.