Parental Responsibility, or lack of!

[KayCee114]

Hi all

I dont know if i'm posting this in the right place, but wondered if anyone can help.

My Hubby and his ex have a son. He was born out of wedlock before 2003, and so DH doesnt automatically have parental responsibility.

His Ex has now asked that DH take his son to a hospital appointment in the morning where they will be discussing a small procedure on his nose.

On websites that i have seen, it says that DH has no rights to take his son to medical appointments or make medical decisions for him.

What is worrying me is if the hospital ask if they can do the procedure tomorrow or ask por permission for anything, and DH gives permission, that she can come back saying that he shouldnt have done that and take him to court.

They have had a phone conversation about it and she says she is happy for him to give permission, but she has been funny about things in the past, and even denied sending texts which DH still has on his phone, so she wont think twice about denying a phonecall.

If he gave permission for them to do something and the procedure went wrong, she would have DH strung up for giving his permission.

She has only asked us to take him as she is busy doing something else, as we werent even meant to have him this weekend.

He has taken the parental responsibility forms to her before and she has refused to sign them. this has meant that DH cannot speak to his son's school, request term calendars or reports, or get invited to parents evenings. She could also change his sons name without his permission.

I'm really after some opinions. from what i can see has 3 options.

1. take his son to the hospital and give permission for them to do the procedure if neccessary
2. take his son to the hospital but refuse them to do anything other than the discussion about the procedure
3. call her and say he isnt willing to take the risk of taking him, as he could be breaking the law

Even if we do option 2, i'm not sure if DH is legally allowed to do that.

sorry for the long post, i'm just wondering if anyone can offer any help.

thanks!

 

[AppleBlossom]

If he doesn't have parental responsibility then he can't agree to something like that. Is there a reason she can't take him? If so then he should discuss it with the doctor but to tell him the situation and that he cannot agree to anything until his ex has been consulted

 

[purpledahlia]

yeah like bexy says he cant give permission, I would either, let him take her but he cant agree to any procedures, all he can do is say the mother will phone and he can tell her whta was said, or, not take him. other thing is she could write a formal letter to him stating clearly she gives him permission to agree to any procedures or schedule them at the hospital visit with times and dates etc, and get her to sign it and him and maybe you as a witness? or someone else.. then if she turns nasty he will have proof on paper with her signature..

 

[Jetters]

If he is the father does he not have automatic rights? Is he on the birth certificate?

 

[starbucks101]

I'd take the forms to her again and get her to sign them, May I ask why your Hubby hasnt just gone to the court to do it? its a very simple process if she is being difficult?

As far as giving permission etc.. He is that little boys Dad, so I see no reason why he shouldnt be able to make descions on his sons welfare. At the end of the day if the mother cant be arsed to take him herself she doesnt/wouldnt have a leg to stand on and would look like a right twat if she tried to kick up a fuss

Hope everything goes ok!! xx

 

[FBbaby]

If she agrees, they don't even need to go to court, just sign some kind of form witnessed by a solicitor. If you google parental responsibility, it will come up.

My children are both born before 12/03 and as their dad and I were not married, he doesn't have parental responsibility. We get along quite well overall and it has never been an issue. I do tend to deal with all medical and educational matters, but discuss everything with him.

About the appointment, he can just give her a call and ask her to speak with the consultant quickly, surely if they get along enough that she is asking him to take their son to the appointment, she won't mind speaking to the consultant briefly. She will have to be present for the actual operation to sign the forms though.